KIDS ARE GOD'S WONDERFUL GIFT

Hi friends,

Kids are really a treat to watch. If you are worried about their marks, tests, exams, homework, discipline, manners, etc. you miss a lot in your life. It is always a pleasure to observe them. Until they reach their adulthood they are something wonderful.

Their radiance is all-pervading. They are like the cool breeze coming out of the AC unit in a hot afternoon. They are like the flowering of the bud, beautiful raindrops, the dew on the grass in the winter morning, like going into Niagara Falls in a boat.

I am a keen observer of kids, especially during a journey. A child is attached to her mother or father or both. In a journey, it will sit beside the mother or father or in between them according to its preference. Unlike adults, children do not exhibit their feelings. They are to be understood.

During dinner time they openly show their likes and dislikes. No child on earth dislikes poori, pasta noodles. They come to the dining table or kitchen even before calling. They eat these items without even leaving a bit on the plate. But they don't empty the plate in the case of other items.

I just love the kids. Not only my children but also other's children. They are cute, energetic, playful and restless. Most of the girls are timid, shy and reserved. Whenever I see children below ten, I like to interact with them, put questions, and play with them just for fun. They open up easily 

Mostly, this happens during a journey either on the train or bus or in some function. I find children of educated parents are without shyness. Other children are shy. Children feel that the world is their family. If questions are posed about their near and dear ones, it is like getting into their comfort zone. 

NOSTALGIA

Hi friends,

This morning, I was having my food. My wife and DIL were also dining with me. My granddaughter, who already had her meals, was standing beside me. I eat only after she had her food. While eating, I used to give her a share from my plate. She may accept or reject depending upon her mood and taste. 

I use dentures because I had given all my teeth to the Lord. Those who have good teeth do not know the problems of people using dentures. Dentures are sharper than normal teeth. One must be careful while chewing the food. It should be balanced on both sides. Otherwise, the tongue or the lips will get cut. 

Accidentally, I got my tongue cut. There was blood. I showed it to my granddaughter for fun. You must see her expression. It is difficult to describe in words. She was bewildered initially, then she started crying and urged her mother to apply for some medicines. Oh, what a lovely experience. I felt as if I can get my tongue cut again and again.

I also have two grandsons through my daughter. When they were small kids it was a wonderful feeling to be with them, to cuddle with them, to sleep with them, to tell them stories, and to observe their expressions. After they grew up, the younger fellow was bold enough to tell me that he was fed up with my stories.

Every day, I used to prostrate before the Lord  3 times. First, before morning coffee, the next after morning bath and the third after an evening bath. Due to my age, I did it only like ladies. When I prostrated, the elder fellow jumped on my back followed by the younger. My wife shouted at them but my daughter simply smiled and enjoyed the scene.

Years passed by and I visited them in the US. One day, I saw the elder fellow lying on a couch. To give it back to him in the same coin, I jumped on him and the little fellow followed me, both crushing the elder fellow. This time my wife smiled and enjoyed the scene but my daughter shouted at me not to harm her kids

A LIFE ON THE PLATFORM

Hi friends,

Mostly I see them during my morning walk. They are husband and wife. The man is around 60 and the woman a few years younger. They live on the platform. I presume someone must be helping them with a night's stay and other rituals. They look pathetic and lifeless.

The woman was cooking food. In the two Ovens made of 3 bricks, she was cooking sambar and rice. She was using tree branches picked up on the road as firewood. The old man was sitting under a shade smoking beedi to forget his hunger. The woman was chewing tobacco to forget the suffering. 

After packing the food, both of them commenced their journey in search of a job. He carried a long crowbar over his shoulders and she took the meals carrier made of a big brass vessel with a semicircular handle sufficient for both. Inside the vessel, the sambar and rice were mixed together with some pickles served as lunch.

From there, they went to a junction in the middle of the bazaar where a confluence of workers, young and old regularly assembled daily to be called for the construction and other related jobs. Prospective "bosses" and brokers arrived in the car or two-wheeler to hire the workers.

There was a beehive of activity. Preference was given to the young and able-bodied. Old people were not considered until late in the morning. Their remuneration was also less when compared to others. I saw the old man and woman begging various people to get hold of a job for living tomorrow.

If they fail to get work, their life on the next day will be doomed. They do not have anyone to take care of. Unlike others, they do not have VRS, retirement benefits, pensions, bonuses, gratuity, etc. They have no place to stay and they live under the sun all through the day. Oh God, have mercy on them.

ACTION, INTENTION AND LIFE

Hi friends,

ACTION AND INTENTION

To decide whether an act is good or bad, both action and intention should be considered. Of the two, the intention is important.

1. An Act with good intention and good action is always good.

2. An Act with good intention but with bad action is also good.

Eg. You find a scorpion near a lady. You pull her away to save her from the scorpion. Pulling the lady is bad action but the intention to save her is good. So the act is good.

3. An Act with bad intention but with good action is bad.

Eg. You have a soiled currency. No one is accepting it. You give it to a blind beggar.  Giving money to the beggar is a good action but the intention to give away the soiled note is bad intention. Hence the act is bad.

4. An Act with bad intention and bad action is always bad.

LIFE

To lead a good life, we must first get rid of evil thoughts in our mind, speech, and conduct. We must be continuously engaged in developing good thoughts and doing good deeds prescribed by the Sastras.

A sanyasi was asked how he overcomes the promptings of lust [kaama]. He replied that whenever kaama knocked at his mind's door, it found him so busy that it went away on its own accord.

An idle mind is the devil's workshop. If we are always busy with good deeds, evil thoughts will not come near us. 

In the very process of doing good deeds, evil automatically vanishes from our mind. Doing good-deeds keeps us constantly thinking of God and thereby we earn His grace all the time.

MY BEST HALF

Hi friends,

My wife and myself have lived together for 44 years so far. Still, I am an idiot in not understanding her. Sometimes it looks as if she loves me to the core of her heart. Some other time it seems she does not care for me at all. I am like the cat on the wall. I don't know whether all men are in the same boat.

We have finished all our responsibilities to our children. They are well settled in life. Our grandchildren are nice to us. Our children don't allow us to spend and our money is growing. Still, she wants to be economical in spite of my telling her to be free in spending. But she does not listen.

She has suffered a lot since our marriage. I want her to enjoy life now. I would like to take her to various places, temples etc so that she is happy. But she prefers to remain at home. She continues to be a workaholic. She wants to help the daughter in law and to look after the granddaughter.

On school days, my DIL gets up early as her child has to go to school at 7 AM. Naturally, on holidays she wants to relax and gets up late. My wife gets up early and helps her in all the domestic chores. Both of them are friendly and get along well with each other which is more important.

One day till 7 AM,  my wife did not get up from the bed. I thought she was tired and slept. When I observed her, she was having a temperature. She got upon seeing me. When she went for brushing she vomited. After some time she had coffee and again she vomited. The temperature was high. 

I was much worried. She came to the hospital on my compulsion. The doctor suggested many tests and it was found to be a viral infection. She was given antibiotics and advised complete rest and fluid diet. Suddenly the cheer in everyone's face had vanished and gloom descended into the house.

She was of sound health. She never had a fever in her life. She did not reveal even a headache. She was shivering a lot due to the fever. I covered her with a blanket. She rested her head on my chest and slept for a while. I remained sleepless so that she can sleep. My heart bled to see her condition.

I gave her the medicines on time. I held her head when she vomited. To make her drink fluid diet was a Himalayan task. She took a little quantity. She had become pale and weak. She had lost all her charm. She had gone down a lot in one week. In early life it is love and in the later life, it is care. 

She went to the restroom 3 or 4 times in the night. Every time I had to help her to get down from the bed and to hold her all the way. The temperature came down after 3 days and vomiting stopped. She started sweating on the 5th day. She was again cheerful on the 7th day. Everyone was happy.

You have a unique satisfaction when you take care of a sick person especially your wife. It is more satisfying than the feeling when you make love to her. Some people get irritated when the wife falls sick. God will not forgive them. When you have a right to claim you have a duty to perform.

பரமாச்சாரியாரின் பார்வையிலே 3

Hi friends,

1. ஆனந்தம் எங்கே? 

நமக்கு எண்ணி முடியாத ஆசைகள் இருக்கின்றன. ஆனாலும் என்றோ ஒரு நாள் நாம் ஆசைப்படும் வஸ்துக்கள் நம்மை விட்டுப் பிரிவது அல்லது நாம் அவற்றைவிட்டுப் பிரிவது சர்வ நிச்சயம். 

சாவின் மூலம் இந்தப் பிரிவு ஏற்படாமல், அதற்கு முந்தி நாமாக ஆசைகளை ராஜினாமா செய்து விட்டுவிட்டால், அத்தனைக் கத்தனை ஆனந்தமாக இருக்கலாம்.

நமக்கு எத்தனை ஆசைகள் இருக்கின்றனவோ அத்தனை முளைகளை துக்கத்துக்கு அடித்துக்கொண்டு நம்மைக் கட்டிப்போட்டுக் கொள்கிறோம். ஆசைகளைக் குறைக்கக் குறைக்க துக்கஹேதுவுங் குறையும். 

இந்தப் பிறவி முடியுமுன் நாம் சகல ஆசைகளையும் விட்டுவிட்டால் மறுபடியும் பிறந்து அவஸ்தைப்படவே வேண்டாம்; அப்படியே பரமாத்மாவில் கரைந்து ஆனந்தமாகி விடலாம்.

2. மனசாட்சி

இப்பொழுது எல்லாம் தலைகீழாக மாறிவிட்டன. முதலில் மனசாட்சியைத்தான் பார்க்கிறார்கள். நியாயப்படி வேறு ஒரு மார்கமும் இல்லாதபோதுதான் மனசாட்சியை அநுசரிக்க வேண்டும். 

மனசாட்சி என்று ஏன் அதற்குப் பெயர் வந்தது? சாட்சி சொல்லத்தான் யோகியதை உடையது. நியாயாதிபதியாக (ஜட்ஜ்) இருக்க அதற்கு யோக்கியதை இல்லை.

சாட்சியாக வந்தவன் வாயால் பொய்யைச் சொல்வான். அதனால் வாய்சாட்சியை நம்புவதற்கில்லை. ஆனால், மனம் பொய் சொல்லாது. மனசுக்கு எல்லாம் நிஜமாகத் தெரியும். 

"நெஞ்சை யொளித்தொரு வஞ்சகமில்லை" என்று அவ்வைப் பாட்டி சொன்னாள். ஆகவே அதைச் சாட்சியாக மட்டும் வைக்கலாம். இப்பொழுது மனசாட்சியை தர்ம விஷயங்களில் ஜட்ஜாகவே வைத்து விடுகிறார்கள். 

இன்னது நடந்தது என்பதை நிஜமாகவே அது சொல்லும். இதுதான் நியாயம் என்று அதனால் தீர்மானித்துச் சொல்ல முடியாது. தான் நினைப்பதை சரி என்று எப்படியாவது சமாதானம் சொல்லி நிலைநாட்டிக் கொள்வதே அவரவர் மனசும் செய்கிற முடியாக இருக்கும்.

இது எப்படி தர்ம நியாயமாகும்? எனவே, 'மனசாட்சிக்கு எப்படி தோன்றுகிறதோ அப்படிச் செய்கிறேன்' என்று சொல்வது தப்பு. எடுத்தவுடன் அதற்கு ஜட்ஜ் ஸ்தானம் கொடுத்துவிடக்கூடாது. 

ஒருவித வழியும் இல்லாமல் போனால், 'நீ தான் சாட்சியாக இருந்து எல்லாவற்றையும் பார்த்திருக்கிறாயே, இப்போது உன் அபிப்பிராயத்தைச் சொல்' என்று மனசிடம் கோட்கலாம். மனசு ஒரு தனி மனிதனைச் சேர்ந்தது. எனவே அது எவ்வளவு தூரம் தன் சுயநலத்தை விட்டு விலகிப் பேசும் என்று சொல்ல முடியாது.

பரமாச்சாரியாரின் பார்வையிலே 2

Hi friends,

1. கடமைகள்
தியானம் என்பதே மிகச் சிறந்த அந்தரங்க நிலை. அதற்கு அநுகூலமாக இருக்கிற மற்ற அந்தரங்க சாதனங்கள் ஐந்து. அவை. அஹிம்சை, சத்தியம், அஸ்தேயம், சௌசம், இந்திரிய நிக்ரஹம் என்பவை. எவருக்கும்,

எவற்றுக்கும் கெடுதலே எண்ணாதபடி மனசை அன்புமயமாகச் செய்து கொள்வது அஹிம்சை.

மனம், வாக்கு, காயம் மூன்றையும் உண்மையிலே ஈடுபடுத்துவது சத்தியம்.

அஸ்தேயம் என்றால் 'திருடாமல் இருப்பது' என்று அர்த்தம். அதாவது, பிறர் பொருட்களில் ஆசையே எழாதபடி வைராக்கியமாக இருப்பது.

சௌசம் என்றால், தூய்மைப்படுத்திக் கொள்வது. ஸ்நானம், மடி, ஆச்சாரம், ஆகாராதிகளின் சுத்தி எல்லாம் சௌசத்தில் அடங்கும்.

இந்திரிய நிக்ரஹம் என்பது புலன்களை அவற்றின் போக்கில் விடாமல் ஒவ்வொர் இந்திரியத்துக்கும் இவ்வளவுதான் ஆகாரம் கொடுப்பது என்று நிர்ணயமாக வைத்துக் கொள்வது. 'கண் இதைப் பார்க்கக்கூடாது. வாய் இதைத் தின்னக்கூடாது. இதைப் பேசக்கூடாது. வாய் தின்னக்கூடாது. இதைப் பேசக்கூடாது. உடம்பு இந்தப் பாவத்தை செய்யக்கூடாது' என்று தடுத்து நிறுத்துவதே இந்திரிய நிக்ரஹம்.

சாதனை செய்வதற்காக மட்டுமே சரீரம் வேண்டும். சரீரம் உயிர் வாழ்வதற்காக இந்திரியங்களுக்கு எவ்வளவு அதம பட்சம் தீனி கொடுக்க வேண்டுமோ அவ்வளவே கொடுக்க வேண்டும்.
அந்த ஐந்தும் 'சாமானிய தர்மங்கள்' எனப்படும்

CORRECT YOURSELF
நாம் நான்கு வழிகளில் பாவங்கள் செய்கிறோம். உடலினால் தீய காரியங்கள் செய்வது, வாயினால் போய் பேசுவது, சொல்லத்தகாத வார்த்தைகளை சொல்வது, மனதில் கெட்ட எண்ணங்களை நினைப்பது, பணத்தின் மூலம் பாவச் செயல்களைச் செய்வது. இந்த நான்கின் மூலமாகவே நன்மை செய்ய நாம் பழக வேண்டும்.

மற்றவர்களுக்கு உபகாரம் செய்வதற்கோ, கடவுளுக்கு தொண்டு செய்வதற்கோ உடலைப் பயன்படுத்தலாம். வாயினால் பகவானின் நாமங்களை உச்சரிக்க வேண்டும். மனம் தான் கடவுள் குடி கொள்ளும் இடம்.

அதை நாம் ஒர குப்பைத்தொட்டியாக்கிவிட்டோம். அதை சுத்தம் செய்து கடவுளை வீற்றிருக்க செய்ய வேண்டும். அவ்வாறு செய்து நிம்மதியாக இருக்க வேண்டும். ஒரு ஐந்து நிமிடமாவது நாம் தியானம் செய்யலாம். பணத்தினால் ஏழைகளுக்கு உதவி செய்யலாம். கடவுளுக்கு தொண்டு செய்யும் காரியங்களுக்காகச் செலவிடலாம்.

- ஜகத்குரு ஸ்ரீசந்திரசேகரேந்திர சரஸ்வதி ஸ்வாமிகளின் அருள்மொழிகள்

பரமாச்சாரியாரின் பார்வையிலே 1

Hi friends,

1. வாழ்க்கைத்தரம்

போதும் என்ற எண்ணம் எவருக்குமே இல்லாமல், பழைய காலத்திலிருந்த திருப்தி இன்றைய ஜனங்களுக்கு அடியோடு இல்லாமல் இருப்பது தரித்திரம்தான்.

'ஒருவன் இரண்டு வேளை காப்பி சாப்பிடுவது நான்கு வேளையாக உயர வேண்டும்; இரண்டு வேஷ்டி வைத்துக் கொண்டிருப்பவன் இருபது வேஷ்டி வைத்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும்; இதுவே வாழ்க்கைத் தர உயர்வு' என்கிற அபிப்பிராயம் வளர்ந்தால் அது பெரிய தப்பு.

வாழ்க்கைத் தரம் உயர்வது என்று சொல்லிக் கொண்டு வாழ்க்கைத் தேவைகளை அதிகப்படுத்திக் கொண்டு போவதால், துராசைதான் அதிகமாகும். எத்தனை சம்பாதியத்தாலும் போதாமல் நாட்டில் தரித்திரம்தான் மிஞ்சும்.

வசதி இருக்கிறவர்கள் தேவைக்குமேல் பட்டுப்படவை, ஸில்க் ஷர்ட் என்று தோஷத்தை அதிகமாக இப்போது வளர்த்துக் கொண்டிருப்பது ஒரு பக்கம், அதே சமயம் இவர்களைப் பார்த்து வசதியில்லாதவர்களுக்கும் சபலம் பிடித்து ஆடுகிறது. அவர்களும் கூடக் கடன் வாங்கியாவது இந்த வேண்டாத தேவைகளைப் பூர்த்தி பண்ணிக் கொள்ள நினைத்து, கடனாளியாகி அநேக உபத்திரவங்களுக்கு உள்ளாகி வருகிறார்கள்.

தேவையை எவ்வளவுக்கு எவ்வளவு அதிகப்படுத்திக் கொள்கிறோமோ, அவ்வளவுக்கு அவ்வளவு சாந்தி குறையும்; சௌக்கியம் குறையும்; நிம்மதியும், திருப்தியும் குறையும். தரித்திரம், துக்கம் உண்டாகும்.

2. வேலையும் பெண்களும்.

​பாரத தேசத்தின் ஸ்திரீ தர்மத்துக்கே விரோதமான போக்குகள் உண்டாகின்றன; கல்யாணமாகாத பெண்களைப் படிக்க வைத்து, வேலைக்கு விட்டு, அவளே சம்பாதிக்கும்படியாகப் பெற்றோர்கள் விடுகிறார்கள். 

முதலில் இது அவமானமாக இருந்தது. ஆனால் முதலில் தயக்கத்தோடு ஆரம்பிக்கிற ஓர் ஏற்பாடு வழக்கத்தில் வந்துவிட்டால் பிறகு அதில் கூச்சம் போய்விடுகிறது. முதலில் அவமானமாக நினைத்த விஷயமே பிறகு பழகிப் போய் விடுகிறது. அதுவே நாகரிகத்தின் அடையாளம் என்ற அளவுக்கு வந்துவிடுகிறது. 

பெண்கள் உத்தியோகம் பார்ப்பது இப்படித்தான் ஆகிவிட்டிருக்கிறது. வயசு வந்த பெண்கள் சர்வசகஜமாக ஆண்களுடன் சேர்ந்து உத்தியோகம் பார்ப்பது நம் தேச ஆச்சாரத்துக்கே விரோதமானது. இதனால் எத்தனையோ தப்பிதங்கள் நேருகின்றன. 

இதை எல்லோரும் கண்டும் காணாமல் இருப்பதுபோல் நானும் இருந்தால் பிரயோஜனமில்லை. என் மனஸில் பட்டதை, நீங்கள் கேட்டாலும், கேட்காவிட்டாலும், வெளியிட்டுச் சொல்வது கடமை என்றுதான் சொல்கிறேன்​.

TO IMPROVE ENGLISH KNOWLEDGE

Hi friends,

A friend compared me to another writer. When I verified, I found he writes in Tamil and he is very popular. I also found many writers write in Tamil. Their followers also commented in Tamil. I wish to tell you why I  prefer to write in English though my mother tongue is Tamil.

To write in the mother tongue is easy. They write on various topics like politics, religion, cinema to attract the attention of people for popularity. Mostly, it is based on controversial subjects in which people are interested. Being the mother tongue, many come forward to participate in the debate.

At the age of 10, I had run a handwritten Tamil Magazine under the caption KALANJIYAM. It was appreciated by one and all. That effort gave me the impetus to write. I know chaste Tamil and I do not wish to write in Tamil because the standard of English has gone down so badly in Tamil Nadu.

A few years back, I talked to a student who had secured more than 90% in the plus 2 exams.  To my surprise, he could not talk or write even a single sentence in English. He miserably failed in the entrance exam for Engg. Even graduates do not speak or write in English without any mistakes.

Politicians came to the rescue of such poor students by bringing down the eligibility marks from 70% to 40% and finally got the exam scraped. One day the entire state will be full of engineers without any job. Knowledge of English and Hindi is very essential to go out of the state for more opportunities.

When I was young, I was also very poor in English. I was reprimanded by my father and the superior in the office. I had to leave many jobs due to the lack of English knowledge. I took a vow that I shall improve and within a few years, I developed and reached this stage. Even now I am learning.

I am an ordinary person. I am not highly qualified. I have improved on my own efforts and hard work. To learn swimming, one has to plunge into the water. You cannot learn by standing on the bank of the river. To improve English knowledge, one should talk, write, speak, learn all the time.

That is why I write in English to improve my standard as well as for others to learn. I write in simple language easy to understand for the common man. I do not use bombastic words to show off myself. I write only for the development of the society and not for name or fame.

  

OLD IS NO LONGER GOLD

Hi friends,

The intelligent young who are below 40, learn so many things on different platforms by meeting people of different lifestyle and mindset. I am open to disclose my age as 73. I wish to say a few words to some of my young friends.  I am nearly twice as old as you. I have lived my life. I am waiting for the D-day. There is nothing for me to earn or learn excepting meeting a peaceful death.

Education gives knowledge. Age gives wisdom and attitude gives character. Our views do not remain constant. It keeps changing due to intellectual growth. I used to say "I was like you but you can never be like me" because I would have reached another level. Now I am totally a different person from what  I was 40 years earlier. I don't know how and why this change has occurred. 

One day you will also be like that. You will not remain the same permanently. For a good relationship, there must be good understanding and good communication. If any statement is said or written in the first person singular, I, it is the view of the individual. You may or may not agree. But you cannot show negative reaction. For Eg. I love God.  

For all other statements, you may object depending on the age and relationship of the person. To counter, oppose, dispute, argue, object, confront, defy, retort, repudiate and contradict are some of the traits of being young. Instead, you can introspect and try to find a reason.  If you find him meaningless you may just ignore him as a wastrel instead of hurting his feelings.

He cannot get into your soul and think in the same way as you think. He can only think according to his intellect, education, experience, and exposure. You can find the grandchildren going along with their grandparents but not the children. It is because of ego. You don't like to accept, adjust and accommodate. You always want to win. You don't want to lose or concede.

They are old. They have no future but only a miserable past. Have some sympathy. Show restraint. After all, what are you going to lose? You are just making an old soul happy. You can put it in the politest way possible. You can say you are unable to agree with him instead of establishing your viewpoint. He is no longer going to gain anything for his future. I hope you understand my point. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

TO SWIM WITH THE TIDE.

Hi friends,

To expect me to be modern at this age is ridiculous. I agree many old people are modern. I do not know how they have changed. But my mind set up is different. My attitude does not cooperate. I have accepted 50% to modern views. I am trying to accept the balance of 50%.

My belief in culture, tradition, respect to elders, morals, belief in epics is strong. Over the years, I have accepted from saree to churidar and to jeans. Is it not change in attitude? The only thing I find it difficult to accept is exposing, enticing, and inviting dresses of both men and women.

I should learn to swim with the tide. I have been to the US thrice. I find people over there wear dresses according to the weather. In summer, one can see people 90% exposed and 10%covered. In winter it is 90% covered and 10% exposed. There is similarity in dressing among all people.

But India is a tropical country and the rule applicable to America may not apply to India. However, Indians in America have to follow that culture. It is said when you are in Rome you must be a Roman. But they also follow the same culture when they visit India. 

It is caught up with the younger generation in India. They say dressing is one's personal matter and there should be no interference. Old people like me find it difficult to accept this change all of a sudden and we are slowly learning to accept.

If we do not swim with the tide we will only be suffering and not the water. Most of the old people do not understand this and they claim that they are correct. They are wrong. We must learn to accept the developments and try to swim along with the tide to safeguard ourselves.

WAIT UNTIL DAWN

Hi friends,

Most of the people in the earlier generation, above 60,  have conservative views excepting a few. The present generation, below 40,  has modern views excepting a few. People who have similar views in both generations live as good friends. People between 40 and  60 remain neutral.

A war of words is going on between the two generations. This is due to their firm belief. Even a father and son do not agree. There is an outcry on social media like FaceBook, one condemning the other. The clash between them will affect the family bonding for which our culture is known for.

The quality of life is in living. The last generation imbibed certain qualities from their parents and led their life with some changes acceptable to their parents. Their income was less. However, they were successful in life and brought up their children to good status. 

The present generation is better educated with exposure and income. Their outlook is modern and freedom-oriented. There is nothing wrong. They are living their life. They have to face the future. The difference of opinion lies only on the lifestyle and how they bring up their children.

The present generation should realize that their success is due to the efforts of the previous generation. The principles their parents followed succeeded. They expect the next generation also to follow them and be successful. This is purely out of love. This should be clearly understood.

But this generation differs in view. The answer depends on how successful their children will be. It will take years to see the result. Till then, it is better for them not to react but to go along with elders. It is also advisable for the elders to leave it to  God and to pray for their well being. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

EXTENDING ADVICE TO OTHERS

Hi friends,

EXTENDING ADVICE

It is human tendency to give unsolicited advice. People do not wish to seek advice from others. Normally, I don't advice anyone including my children, unless it is requested. However, there are certain exceptional cases. If I am impressed with the looks or body language or respectful words of a person, I advise them only three points.

1. For a school going student, I advise him to study well as education is important to him. 

2. For a college-going student, I say if he works hard for four years he can enjoy life for 40 years. If he enjoys for 4 years he will have to work hard for 40 years. I leave it to his choice.

3. If he is settled in life, whether married or not, I tell him to take care of his parents and to make them happy. 

4. If anyone seeks advice with all sincerity, I tell them what my father had told me. Do your duty without likes and dislikes, make your parents happy, help the poor and then pray to God. Am I correct?

ENGLISH LANGUAGE

After the advent of the Internet and electronic gadgets like computers, cellphone, WhatsApp etc, writing of letters and reading of books have gone into oblivion. The Queen's English is no longer used and the slang has taken over its place. Literary beauty and style of writing cannot be enjoyed now. All communications are computer-centric.

I am an old goose and I am unable to understand the modern trend in writing. Eg-lolz. I have read many books and I am fascinated by the style of Swami Parthasarathy and John Grisham. The former writes about spiritualism and the latter novels based on law. I love their style of writing and the flow of the language. 

Their writing is simple and easy to understand. I read certain portions of their books many times so that I get into their style. I have developed my writing mostly based on their style. That does not mean I don't read or like other's books. I read them also but I don't get the satisfaction I get from those two authors.

I AM A PROUD FATHER

Hi friends,

I AM A PROUD FATHER

I should say a few words about my son. He is not modern. He is conservative. He leads a very happy life. He is blessed with a wonderful wife and a beautiful daughter. He loves and takes care of his parents to the maximum. He makes his parents happy. 

He listens to their words and obeys them to the core. He is well-positioned and earns a good salary. He does not believe in sending his wife for outside jobs. But she runs a shop in artificial jewelry and earns a good amount. She does not fail to do her domestic chores and to look after the family. He does not have any outstanding loans

If my family is like a car, my daughter is the engine, my son is petrol and we are the drivers. I get a good return on my assets. He does not allow me to spend anything from my income. My house in Chennai will only go to him. Hence he does not want to go in for another house. 

If he sells the house, he may buy another at Hyderabad. He prefers to keep a low profile. He loves his uncles and aunts and his cousins and friends. He is a friend to all and foe to none. His motto in life is " help ever hurt never". I am blessed with a wonderful son.

A RESPONSIBLE  GIRL

For a girl to be endowed with both beauty and intelligence is the blessing of God. My DIL's younger sister is one among them. Though hailing from a humble background, she knows her responsibility at a very young age of 26. 

She did her degree in computer application creditably and scored good grades. She was selected by the Wipro Academy for a 4 year M.S. course by Bits Pilani and she came out successful. She was absorbed by Wipro and later she joined another leading IT company.

She is a responsible daughter to her parents and she is taking all efforts to make her parent's future secure. It is rare to find a girl who is beautiful, intelligent, responsible and devoted to the parents. I am glad to say that, like my children and DIL, she also calls me daddy. 

I am overwhelmed by her affection, love, respect, and regard for me. I heartily wish this wonderful girl all success, happiness, and peace in her life. God bless her.

FOR THE SOLACE OF THE MIND

Hi friends,

A UNIQUE SATISFACTION

I was late this morning for my walk. It was at 9 AM. Whatever be the time, I never missed it. Today, on my way I noticed an old woman sitting in the hot sun in the corner of a street selling tomato and sapota in two baskets. 

She must be 70 plus with wrinkled skin and face. I waited at a distance and watched her. No one came forward to buy her products. She had covered her head with a dupatta to escape the heat. Having sympathy for her, I went near her to buy. 

But I didn't know Telugu nor she knew English. We could not communicate. Somehow I managed to buy one kilo each and gave her whatever she demanded. There was some unique satisfaction, I didn't know why.

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE

A human is a mixture of good and bad. A person is good when good qualities in him are more and the bad qualities are less and vice versa. Life is the process of removing the bad qualities and to become a good person. It is difficult to achieve. It may take a lifetime. 

Removing bad qualities is realization. A realized soul leads a simple life without vices. They do not drink alcohol, go after women or indulge in unlawful and unethical activities. To teach any subject, the teacher must be well qualified in that subject. Otherwise, he is unfit to teach. 

There is no fixed qualification to teach spiritualism. Everyone becomes a spiritual teacher. The layman, with his disturbed mind, listens to such unqualified teachings to seek solace. It is not correct. You must listen only to qualified people who lived a saintly life. For Eg. Paramacharya.

ADOLESCENCE

Hi friends,

During my walk this morning, I saw a young boy, say about 18, waiting for the college bus. When I walked past him, I saw cigarette burning within his fingers. I hesitated for a moment as I never used to extend advice unless it is asked for. 

However, I could not resist since I was only doing something good for him. I explained to him in detail all the consequences of smoking. He listened to me patiently without any argument until I finished talking. But I noticed he never threw off the cigarette in his hand.

When a person smokes a cigarette, a small quantity of Nicotine is added to his blood. He feels some intoxication and happiness. He enjoys it. That enjoyment is the root cause of all problems. 

When the nicotine content in his blood goes down, he longs for intoxication and wants to smoke another cigarette. Slowly the number of cigarettes gets increased and he does not find a way either to control it or to stop it. He becomes an addict to smoking.

During the adolescent period, a person gets into three bad habits viz., smoking, cinema, and infatuation. Alcohol and drugs come later in life. A mentally matured person will not get into bad habits as he knows the consequences. 

Mostly boys when they enter the college get into these bad habits due to their association with bad elements. Parents instead of worrying about their marks should worry about their getting into bad habits and advise them suitably not to get associated with such students. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

THIS SAMBAR IS SWEET

Hi friends,

I know for certain that I am very ignorant as far as taste is concerned. I eat only to satiate my hunger and not for the taste. I do not know how a dish is prepared nor the ingredients put into it. 

When I was young, my father used to advise me a lot about wasting food, asking for more quantity, eating all items equally, washing one's plate, etc. Those things had gone into my head. So I don't eat for the taste. 

I remember an incident when I was studying in college. When I came home in the afternoon for lunch, I told my mother that the sambar was sweet in the morning but it was sour now. She said she forgot to put salt in the morning. 

Such was my ignorance about taste and I did not bother to improve upon it. During the 43 years of my married life also whenever my wife asked me for an opinion about the food she had prepared I only said it was wonderful. 

I never criticized nor appreciated on my own because I was totally ignorant. When she found anything wrong with her preparation later, she used to chide me for my ignorance. But she continued to ask me for opinion. 

You may not agree with me and would advise me to learn it. I don't think it is necessary because I look at only two aspects. 1. The efforts she takes to prepare the food for me. 2. The love with which she serves the food for me? That is all.

A VISIT BY THE DAUGHTER

Hi friends,

A daughter has a special place in a family for the reason that she will be leaving the family after her marriage. The agony of leaving the daughter after her wedding is greatly felt in India. To see her again, she has to visit the parents as they have reservations to visit the son-in-law. I recollect the occasion when my daughter first visited us after her marriage. 

Our house was spruced up. I went to the station long before the arrival of the train. She did not allow me to carry her baggage. My cute little grandson walked along with me holding my hand. Normally, I preferred the bus but I engaged a cab. 

The joy of the parents meeting their daughter long after her marriage cannot be expressed in words. She was totally a different person. Her complexion had improved. She looked bright and cheerful. Saree and churidar were gone and replaced by jeans and leggings. The long-plaited hairstyle was cut short. High heels had come in. A fancy handbag was on. 

All these changes were due to the influence of the man of her life. We were only happy to see these changes. She had brought my favorite plum cake and my wife's dry Jamoon. She had come for a stay of only 15 days. Every night, she took us to the hotel for tiffin and ice cream. She was on a spending spree.

The little kid was a wonder to watch and to play with. He never gave any trouble. He was always quiet and mingled with us freely. He ate his food on time. He​ was playing with his dolls, building houses, drawing pictures, cutting and pasting them, listening to kids' songs, etc. 

The house ​was scattered with his​ playthings. No one was bothered about it​.​ I sang our family song every time to make him sleep. It was the same song that I sang for my daughter also when she was a kid. I could see a glint of a smile on her face.

Our daughter was busy with office work till late in the night and woke up late. She ate very little food and the mother was chiding her. We were always talking either sitting in the hall or on the kitchen table or lying on the bed with her head on my lap and the legs on the mother who was pressing it with love. 

It was a delight to watch her expressive face and twinkling eyes. We were happy to see loads of currency in her handbag, her modern accent, freedom of expression, and better exposure and outlook. At times, we even doubted whether she was the same daughter.

Days moved fast. Since she had become the wife of another man, we could not retain her any longer. The day of her departure had arrived. We were devastated. The house looked gloomy everywhere. No one talked much. There was silence all over. The food was not tasty. 

She packed her things. My wife prepared food for their journey. I went out and got some snacks and sweets for her in-laws. Finally, the cab arrived. We went to the station to see her off. I could see tears in the corner of my wife's eyes. I could feel a lump in my throat. 

Inside the compartment, my grandson was sitting on my lap, playing with my fingers and uttering some words only known to him. When we got down, he started crying to come with us. The train started off mercilessly without understanding our feelings. From the outside, we could see her face as a silhouette through the tinted window glass. 

Slowly they were moving off. Suddenly, my wife hugged me and started crying on my shoulders. I could not find words to console her. Everyone around was watching us. When we were going to see them again? The separation of loved ones was the most painful experience.

THE FOUR MISTAKES OF MY LIFE

Hi friends,

Decision making is important for success in life. A proper decision not taken at the proper time and place will definitely affect one's life. I miserably failed to take correct decisions in my life on four occasions. My life would have been different if I had taken the correct decisions on those occasions.

1. In the 60s, admission to engineering courses was difficult. There were only a few govt colleges. Hence a 3-year diploma course in engineering was started. I was admitted to a premier institution. I could have done AMIE further. But I did not have an interest in engineering. Hence I did not fare well and failed miserably. That was the first mistake of my life.

2. In 1980, at the age of 35, with great difficulty, I constructed a house. I was just breaking even when my FIL gave my wife some money as her share of his property. I never wanted to make use of her jewels or cash. Otherwise, I would have constructed the first floor. Both floors would have improved my financial condition. It was the second mistake of my life.

3. In 1992, I got a good job in Hyderabad. I rejected the counteroffer from the company where I was working. I could not manage the new job due to the lack of knowledge in Telugu. I had to leave the job. I could not get a better one as I was only a graduate. So leaving a good job at the prime age of 47 with two children was the third mistake of my life.

Before I was 56, all my savings had been spent on children's education, daughter's wedding, and family expenses. I was jobless and also penny less. My children came to my rescue by giving their entire earnings for 15 years. If my daughter was like the engine, my son was like petrol. We lived on the interest income and within 15 years, we could save what they had given to us.  

4. In 2017, when I was 72 and my wife was 69, we decided to join with our son at Hyderabad on their invitation. While my wife is able to go along with the children, I still longed for independent life especially in a place where I do not know the local language. As all the activities are taken care of by the children, I am unable to keep myself engaged and I have to be idle all the time. This was the fourth mistake of my life. I can only cry now.

IF YOU CAN WRITE, I CAN ALSO WRITE

Hi friends,

Recently I read someone criticizing the Prime Minister of our country asunder. I am apolitical. However, I wish to say a few words. 

"Do you think the clown we have for a PM thinks on these lines? No - because he simply lacks the education nor the intellect to understand such issues."

Before accusing another person, one must look at himself first. Most of the people fail to do this. The root cause of all the problems is there is no self-assessment.  

India is the largest democracy in the world. It comprises of 30 states and 6 union territories. The political system is considered to be the best in the world. Each state is run by the Legislative assembly and the country is run by the Parliament. 

The state is divided into assembly segments based on population. The people of the state elect their representatives. The person who gets the majority votes becomes the assembly member. Political parties contest the election and the party that gets the majority, rules the state for 5 years.

Six assembly segments constitute one Lok sabha constituency. The people also elect the Lok sabha member. The party which gets the majority in Lok sabha rules the country for 5 years. Political parties in the state assemblies based on its strength elect members to the Rajya sabha

There are no criteria to contest the election. The person should be an Indian citizen. It is the Govt of the majority of the people, for the people, by the people. This is the system in our country.

There are four categories of people as rich, poor, educated and illiterate. The rich are in pursuit of money. The educated poor just cry over the problems. The illiterate poor, the majority, is the cause of all the problems.

So education is important in the uplifting of the country. If all people are educated, they will use their prudence in the elections and select the right candidate. Due to poverty and lack of education, the poor are bribed to vote as they need the money for the day to day life.

 

Correct decision at the time elections is important. If unscrupulous elements are elected the people only will suffer. There is no point in crying over the spilt milk. Therefore raise your voice for eradicating illiteracy.

Instead of mulling over what is going on, please do your duty, make your parents happy, help the poor and pray to God. Lead a simple life within your income and save for your kids. Whatever you think or say or write, nothing is going to change the situation. Why you bother? 

TO OWN A CAR OR NOT?

Hi friends,

TO OWN

Some people like to own a car irrespective of their income. You find pleasure and feel proud of it. You say it is a status symbol. You can go out anytime with your family. Your children are happy about it. They love their daddy's car. 

It is a pleasure to talk to your vehicle, caress it, wash it every week and polish it. It is like your child. You get immense pleasure in maintaining it in top condition. You are happy when other people appreciate your car. 

When you visit relatives by going in your car there is unique satisfaction for your entire family. To go for a drive when you are happy or sad is refreshing. When you give a lift to others they are happy. In case of emergency, you can help by lending your car. 

NOT TO OWN

The other man feels the opposite. He says it is a waste of money. You can engage a cab anytime. It is less expensive. You need not spend money on petrol and maintenance. You don't worry about accidents, police, court, and compensation. There is no tension while driving if you hire a cab. 

You need not waste your time in washing, cleaning and polishing it. Hassles of learning and getting a driving license do not arise. You don't need additional space to park it, protect it from sunlight, etc. If you buy you have only one car, if you hire you have many cars, 

You don't envy others who own costlier cars than you. You need not worry about the hike in petrol price. A new car lasts only for 5 years and then you will have to replace it. If your car breaks down en route, you will be in trouble especially during the night or long journey.

IN MY VIEW/

You may own a car provided 1. Your income is high. 2. You travel long distance daily to office. 3. You move out frequently with your family. 4. You go out of the station often with family. 5. You have a passion for driving. 6. You are willing to replace it every 3 years. 7. You are a businessman and you get depreciation. 

HAPPINESS UNLIMITED

Hi friends,

FOR A HARMONIOUS LIFE

While arranging the wedding of their children, the parents are only particular about the matching of the horoscopes. If they match, they proceed further and if the boy and girl physically like each other, they fix the wedding. They do not consider other aspects. 

There are 12 different types of people, rich/poor, beautiful/not beautiful, educated/not educated, city/rural, employed/unemployed, emotional/intellectual. Everyone has plus and minus. The children may have their imagination and expectation about future spouse and their qualities.

They do not disclose their views to their parents as they feel shy. The parents proceed on their own which leads to unhappiness. It is advisable for the parents and children to discuss what type of spouse they expect so that there are harmony and understanding before fixing up an alliance.

SELF APPRAISAL

Apart from posting bits on my timeline[wall], I have written about 120 articles. I really wonder how I am able to make it. I started writing on Jan 2016. When I first reached 30 articles, I was imagining when I would cross 50 as a milestone. This feeling was there for every 50 articles.

Just for self-appraisal, I reviewed my articles. To be frank with you, actually, I laughed at my writing. It was so bad. I myself could not tolerate it. I wondered how other people would have thought about it. The language, narration, usage of words, grammar, everything was not good.

Now I am fine-tuning every article. After another year, even this may look not up to the mark. That is the beauty of writing. When your child gets 60 marks, you are worried about the missing 40 marks. If there is an ink dot on white dhoti, we think not about the white but about the dot.

FROM THE GRANARY

MEDICAL TIPS

Many people give medical tips as if they are doctors. It is not my intention to find fault with them. They are doing it in good faith and concern for others. We tell the time only when it is asked for. What is medicine for one is poison for another. Wheat is good for its fiber content. 

But it is poison for a person having Coeliac disease which is a small intestine disorder. It leads to indigestion and bloating. Ginger is not good for an ulcer patient. Home remedies are suitable for one's family who knows the person and his system and who can take responsibility. 

Only doctors should treat any ailment. They are qualified for it. People should only go to the doctor. In the case of problems with vital organs like heart, liver, kidney, lungs, and brain they should go to Specialists. Any delay in going to the doctor will lead to serious consequences.

SPRUCING IT UP

I searched for my wife. She was not to be seen anywhere including her regular place before the TV. I found her in the kitchen. She was in the midst of containers, provisions and empty pockets. She was sprucing up the kitchen. She was a workaholic. She never remained idle. 

Lethargy and procrastination have come into me? She is 70 but looks 17. All husbands find their wives look younger. I wanted to spruce up my FB timeline for months together but I didn't do it. After getting motivation from her, I decided to carry out the job positively today. 

After a good coffee at 3 PM, I made the FaceBook timeline up to date in 4 hours. 1. I deleted all obsolete posts. 2. I stored posts which can be made into articles. 3. I deleted posts earlier to 2016. 4. I deleted photos which are in the memory. 5. I removed posts in which I was tagged 

HERO WORSHIPING

Hi friends,

A GENIUS

A doctor is next to God. His diagnosis makes him unique. The risk he takes is beyond words. I remember to have read this in the "letters to the editor" column in The Hindu long time back during the centenary of Dr. A.L.Mudaliar, by one of his assistant who was also a famous doctor.

One day, he was going with ALM in his car. ALM was one of the few who owned a car. While they were passing through Big street in Triplicane in Madras, there was some gathering of people. When inquired, they were told that a politician was bedridden with a serious ailment.

ALM got down from the car and went inside the house and checked on the patient. His deputy doctor was standing nearby to note down his prescription. ALM dictated the medicine and he noted it. But he was sure that the medicine should not be given to the patient for his ailment.

Before handing over the prescription to the family, the deputy doctor hesitated for a moment. ALM observing his reluctance told him not to worry, "I know it should not be given. Sometimes even the poison works as a medicine". Within a few days, the patient became normal. A genius.

HERO WORSHIPING

In our daily life, we are blindly hailing someone as a hero. We always talk about him and keep him in high esteem. We do not know whether he is actually worth his salt. Knowing our weakness, he also accepts that he is a hero. Then who is a real hero?

Character is defined as the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. It is human law. Everyone should abide by this law. You have good and bad character. The main aspect that makes a person good is having good character. Both the intention and action must be good.

The hero is one who is admired for his courage, outstanding achievements, and noble qualities. There are people who are rich and handsome. People give importance to outward appearance and call a person a hero. Tom Dick and Harry are not heroes. They should have noble qualities.

Drinking alcohol and womanizing are the worst habits. People who possess these habits must be abandoned by society. Before considering anyone to be a hero please find out whether he is free from these two vices. If not, you must summarily reject him even as human beings.

IN MY PERSPECTIVE

Hi friends,

ATTITUDE

Many people are raising questions leading to discussions, arguments, opinions, etc. which revolves around education. It is not correct to connect everything to education. Education only gives Knowledge. Experience gives wisdom. Attitude gives character. 

A highly educated and intelligent person may be of bad character. An uneducated person may be of good character. Only his attitude decides about his character. It is inborn. No curriculum teaches attitude. He has come into this world with unfulfilled desires. 

Accordingly, his attitude and character are formed. No one can change it. Even if he tries he cannot change it. The switch lies with God. It will take many births for him to get his desires fulfilled and to become a man of good character. Lesser the desires, better the attitude.

OM SHANTI OM

When a person dies, most of the people say R.I.P. This is used only when the body is buried and not when consigned to flames. As per the Hindu tradition, we do only the cremation. So we should only say"I pray for the soul to reach the lotus feet of the Lore" or "I pray for the soul to attain Shanti" or "I pray God to give the soul Motcha" or simply "Om Shanti Om" or in Tamil  ஆத்மா சாந்தி பெற இறைவனை வேண்டுகிறேன்

HAPPY NEW  YEAR

In another few hours, the new year will dawn. We anxiously wait for its arrival. Some people will start celebrating on the previous night itself. On the new year day, we do not fail to wish everyone a happy new year. There ends the matter. We do not know whether the person is happy through the year or not. Okay, it is not possible as no one is reporting to us. At least we can take a wow not to hurt others during the year which itself will make others happy. Wishing a person happiness and making a person happy is entirely different. Let us all make others happy this year.

I VISITED THE GODS:

I suffered a viral infection for a week. I had severe headache, giddiness, vomiting, body pain, blurred vision, and I lost all senses. My DIL took me to the hospital. The Doctor gave medicines and tests costing 3000/. I did not know what happened. I thought my D-Day had come.

I went to heaven and met all the Gods. Maha Vishnu was lying in bed chatting with Mahalakshmi. He manages the Universe by keeping a replica of him in every living being. Lord Siva was in penance. Mother Parvathy was taking care of his duties. Lord Brahma was writing something. 

I told them "I am 71 and I have finished all my duties. I want to sell my house in Chennai and buy another one at Hyderabad. Everyone wants black money. I want only white. Please help me".They said, "It is impossible in India. You have come to the wrong place" and sent me back.

MOSTLY RELEVANT

ALZHEIMER

Alzheimer is the worst that can happen to an old soul. It is the drying of the brain. There is no cure and it aggravates further after you are 60. You must take steps to keep your brain active to avoid or delay this deadly problem.

Reading books, writing articles, walking both morning and evening, doing puja and uttering slokas, visiting friends and relatives, going to temples/pilgrimage, napping a little, socializing on Internet, watching classic movies, listening to soul-stirring music especially Carnatic, playing with children or pets, caring and sharing small domestic chores, learning and doing Yoga daily, playing sudoku, attending discourses, are some of the traits which I can suggest to others.

APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

I am tired. How long I can sit before the laptop and read friends' posts?. My back is paining. I closed the laptop and lied down on my cot. The body is at rest but the mind is wandering. How long I can stare at the ceiling?. After the articles, the next one that comes to my mind is music.

I can reasonably sing well but alone. I fine-tune my vocal cords by taking Apple Cider Vinegar. I mix 2 tablespoons of ACV with 200 ml of water and drink it daily at 6 PM. You must be very careful while swallowing it. It improves gut acidity and gives good Brigaas in the vocal chord. If you are a singer you can try. 

WREN & MARTIN

It is not a brand name like Louis & Phillip, Peter England, Reid & Taylor etc, or Baskin Robbins. It is a book. I don't know whether it is available in the market now. It was a book which the present-day grandfathers dreaded during their school days.

It is a Bible for English grammar. Commencing from alphabet, consonant, vowel, word, sentence, subject, predicate, object, verb, noun, pronoun, adverb, adjective, gerund, clauses, tenses, active/passive voices, direct/indirect speech, punctuation, conjunction, interjection, paraphrasing, precis-writing, comprehension, letter/essay writing, synonyms, antonyms, usage, etc, it teaches everything about grammar.

I used to give this book a gift to students who were studying 10th to 12th std. The price ranged from Rs. 20 to 110 when I last purchased. It is the most valuable book for grammar.

RIGHT FROM THE HEART

Hi friends,

AN IDEAL FATHER

The wedding was over. The guests started leaving. Only close relatives remained. The fragrance of the silk Sarees, flowers and perfumes faded away in the air. After a heavy dinner, people were relaxing in different corners of the hall. It was afternoon. The bridegroom was resting on a sofa in the hall deeply thinking about his future life. He was alone and this was the time. 

As the father of the bride, I approached him. After some pleasantries, I told him if he did not mistake me, I wanted three promises from him. When the SIL asked me what were they, I said, 

1. Do not desert your parents in support of my daughter. 

2. Do not get into any bad habits like smoking, drinking alcohol, contacts with women even for fun.

3. Make my daughter happy. Do not bring tears in her eyes. 

The SIL agreed and I was happy.

I then went to my daughter. She was busy packing her baggage to leave for her new home. After some pleasantries, I asked her four promises. When my daughter asked me what were they, I said, 

1. Love your husband to the core of your heart. 

2. Strive for the unity of his family. Do not be responsible for the separation of your husband from his parents. 

3. Women weep outside but men weep inside. Solve your problems on the same day and do not carry it over to the next day. 

4. In case you are physically, mentally, financially, emotionally or intellectually tortured, do not continue to stay there for my happiness. Please come back and I will take care of you. 

The daughter agreed and I was happy.

THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND SYMPATHY

For a parent, both the son and daughter are similar to their two eyes. There is no doubt about it. However, the longing for the married daughter is slightly more because she has gone to a different family. Some daughters are fortunate enough to be in the same place where their parents live and they can visit each other mutually.

Where the daughters live in a different place it is difficult to visit. Parents who are not employed can visit their daughter once in a while. Whereas, parents who are working or aged may not be able to do so. In such cases, only the daughter can visit them. If the daughter has a school-going child or if she is employed, then it is also difficult for her to visit whenever she likes, excepting during Christmas or summer holidays.

In case she has aged in-laws, she cannot leave them alone to go to her parents. The love of the maternal grandparents is equally great. If her in-laws voluntarily ask her to go, when she was free, then it shows their love for her. If they allow her to go on her request, then it is out of sympathy. If they do not permit her to go even after her request it should be condemned. That is the difference between love and sympathy.

MISSING

My granddaughter is always active. She never gives any trouble to anyone. She minds her business. Her parents, grandmother, and aunt have got her different playthings. You can always find her busy reading books, playing with dolls, building houses, drawing pictures, cutting pictures and pasting it, listening to kids songs etc. The house is scattered with her playthings all over. Neither her parents nor the grandmother is bothered about it. Being a disciplinarian, I get annoyed but I keep my mouth shut.

I have to be very careful while walking inside the house as I may stumble upon anything anytime. Now, she has gone to her maternal grandparent's house for summer vacation. No item is now scattered on the floor. The house is neat, tidy and clean. I need not be careful while walking. But I miss my granddaughter. Where is she? I don't mind the house to be shabby. But I need her. I want to play with her. I want to see her smiling face. I miss her badly. Bring her soon.

WHO IS WHO?

Hi friends,

WHO IS THE SMARTER OF THE TWO?

The proverb says give the work to the one who works and the pay to the idler. It is believed that the smart would get all accolades and go up in the ladder. But in fact, you will only repent as people will load you with more work. There are two types of people.

The workaholic returns home, removes the shoes, keeps it in its place, takes a towel, goes to the restroom, finish washing, takes the coffee kept ready for him on the dining, sits on the sofa and talks passionately with his wife about the day. He then helps her in domestic chores.

The other one, does no work in the office, except gossiping, visiting canteen, returns home. At the street corner, loosens his tie disturbs his hairstyle, unbutton and rolls up one of his sleeves, enters the house posing tired, throws the shoes and lies down on the sofa fully stretched. His wife brings coffee, applies Wicks on his forehead and he retires to his bed till dinner is ready.

WHO IS A SENIOR CITIZEN? 

Most of the people are under the impression that if a person is 70 and another is 30, then the first one is elder and the second is younger. It is not so. There is a new theory to find out who is elder and who is younger.

To merge with God is the ultimate goal of life. To achieve this, one has to become pure. To become a pure soul, realizations of God is important. For realization, renunciation and bhakti are important. For renunciation one should get fully satisfied to leave an object. To get fully satisfied one has to take many births.

Assuming it takes 100 births to merge with God, a person who is 70 may be in his 20th birth desiring more objects of pleasure. The other person who is 30 may be in his 50th birth might have left most of his desires. Therefore, the one who is 70 in his 20th birth is younger to the one who is 30 in his 50th birth.

So whether a person is elder or younger is assessed by his desires and not by his age in a particular birth. A person with fewer desires is elder and the person with more desires is younger.

WHO IS BETTER?

While talking about people, their upbringing, education, employment etc my grandfather used to make the following remarks. I don't know how far he was correct. He had already reached the Lord's lotus feet.

People can be compared to a hen. There are three types of hens.

1.Hens that eat in the owner's house and also lay eggs there.

2.Hens that eat in the owner's house but lay eggs with the neighbour.

3.Hens that eat in the neighbour's house but lay eggs with the owner.

You can judge which is the best.

WHO IS A GURU?

In earlier days, every family had their priest like a family doctor who knew the details of the members. Now, it runs like employment exchange, with a senior priest deputing someone not known to us to perform a function or ceremony. I do not wish to discuss the definition and the role of a Guru. Life has changed and they should also lead their life like others.

For my father's ceremony, a priest was deputed. After the ceremony, he demanded an exorbitant fee which was more than what I had agreed to with the principal priest. When I told him, he said it was his rate and he should be paid his amount. It did not occur to me to discuss the fees with him when he arrived to perform the function.

I told him there was no prior understanding between us and requested him to talk to the principal priest who had sent him. He talked to him and did not listen to his words and started creating a scene. Unable to bear the humiliation, I paid the amount and sent him off. This is how priests who take the temporary place of a guru behave nowadays.