Random thoughts 2196 to 2210.

2196. Punctuality indicates character. It is not followed to satisfy others. It is discipline. Only arrogant people do not adhere to punctuality.

2197. Serotonin is a brain chemical that controls mood, pain, wellbeing and sexual desire with melatonin. It is found in banana and pomegranate.

2198. How long it takes for the eyes to open after birth? Cows-immediately, goats- 2 hours, cats-6 days, dogs-10 days, humans- after marriage.

2199. People prefer to eat soaked almonds every morning to improve their memory but they forget to soak them in the previous night.

2200. We should control our 5 M. They are 1. Mind, 2. mouth, 3. mood, 4. money and 5. manners.

2201. 1. e-g means example given and not for example. 

2. I-e means in essence and not that is. When do you know about this?

2202. We don’t know how blessed we are. We sleep, we eat, we walk, we work, we play, we laugh, we talk, we love, we earn, we enjoy and we live. What else?

2203. When the father asked his son why mother is sitting quiet , the son said when the mother asked him lipstick, he gave her fevistick by mistake.

2204. Marriage is an understanding to solve the problems together which we did not have earlier.

2205. Salt is a chemical called sodium chloride. Sodium is harmful mineral. Chloride gives salty taste. Divide total salt by 2.5 to get sodium level.

2206. The storage capacity of our brain is limitless. So we cannot forget the unhappy past. We can only make friends with them.

2207. Sisters support brother’s love but brothers do not support sister’s love. Because sisters know what love is but brothers know what boys are.

2208. When her husband sent her a text “your great”, she just corrected him saying “you are great”. He is now thinking that he is a super man.

2209. Abcdefg-means: A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl.

Gfedcba-means :Girls Forget Everything Done Catches a Boy Again.

2210. When he reported about his stolen debit card after 3 months, the cop asked him why delay? He said the thief was spending far less than his wife.

Random thoughts 2181 to 2195.

2181. A bacteria called LISTERIA which grows very fast in cold weather contaminates the food  stored long in the fridge very quickly.

2182. ALOHA means Ask, Listen, Observe, Hear, Ask again in caretaking. It is also the Hawaiian word for love, affection, peace, compassion and mercy.

2183. Within two weeks of quitting sugar, you may experience a better mood, have higher energy levels, and even speed up your weight loss. 

2184. Maturity in marriage is when the couple agrees to stop sharing gifts and spending their time and money on travel to create memories.

2185. Maturity in marriage is not about questioning the spouse but in questioning oneself.

2186. Elephant family is all women group. Males leave the herd early. Females look after kids. Most experienced female takes decisions.

2187. I am very flexible, adjustable, amenable and adaptable. I wonder how some people are so stubborn (பிடிவாதம்) in nature!!!

2188. Bad smell in the armpits is due to bad bacterial reaction with sweat. You may Use anti bacterial soap  and apply diluted backing soda after bath.

2189. I used to sympathise with youngsters who talked on cellphone holding it on their shoulder while driving a bike. Now I damn care.

2190. The resale value of a car bought by husband in 2010 for 4 lakhs is now 1 lakh. A jewellery bought by wife for 4 lakhs in 2010 is worth 16 lakhs now.

2191. The wife said to her husband that she was going out for a few hours and whether he wants anything. He said that is what he wants.

2192. The main reason for the cities losing its charm now is due to the carbon emissions from the vehicles and the loss of open spaces.

2193. The door is smaller than the house. The lock is smaller than the door. The key is smaller than the lock. But only the key can open the entire house.

2194. Discussing issues about your in laws with your husband is just like discussing malaria with mosquitoes. Same thing. No solution.

2195. If the husband earns 60k and his wife earns 40k, the total income of the family is 60k and not 100k. The husband should understand this.

Random thoughts 2166 to 2180.

2166. If you want to change the world do it while you are single. Once you are married, you cannot even change your TV channel.

2167. In the sixth chapter of the Gospel of Luke, Jesus teaches the importance of forgiveness. Humans tend to seek revenge, to condemn which is wrong.

2168. Some people cry for not marrying his/her love. Some people cry for having married someone. Some cry for not being able to marry anyone.

2169. Parents help to mediate any misunderstanding between couples. Divorces are on the rise because they are kept in old age homes.

2170. A person who gets tension frequently is an idiot. A person who creates tension in others is an intelligent person.

2171. In my younger days, I had seen many families financially affected due to the men played cards for the entire day. Hence I hate the game.

2172. I see daily boys and girls come out of school in the evening. The boys shout,  play and fight but the girls are silent, polite and gossip. In future?

2173. Most of the so called reels on social media are vulgar. No censorship for them. The entire population is just viewing them wasting all the time.

2174. The Law of success by Napoeoo Hill says “it is better to regret for something you did not say at the right time than something you did say.

2175. Whenever I attend any function, I always sit on the third seat from the centre space in the third row. Anyone interested is welcome to talk to me.

2176. Even after 60 years of marriage, a grandpa was calling his wife darling, honey, beauty etc. When asked for the reason, he said he had forgotten her name.

2177. The wife asked her husband what for he was looking at their marriage certificate. He said, he was looking for the expiration date.

2178. The problems faced by the last generation and the present generation are totally different. Mutual understanding any problem.

2179. If we live for the happiness of others we will always be happy. If we live for our own happiness then we will never be happy in life.

2180. If we throw a stone towards the dogs they will run away out of fear. If we throw a stone towards a beehive we will run away out of fear.

POSITIVE THINKING !!!

Here are some examples of positive thinking.

1. Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged

Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?

(This is called "Positive Thinking"

2. Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doctor:- How come???

Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet..

(This is called "Positive Attitude")

3. A Man wrote to the bank. "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to the Bank or my account?”

(This is self confidence in its peak !!)

This one is classic !!

4. A cockroach's last words to a man who was about to kill it : "Go ahead man and kill me, you are a coward. You're just jealous of me because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!" 

Random thoughts 2151 to 2165.

2151. The reason why a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue. 

2152. Everyone feels that he would live a different kind of life if given another chance. This realization comes only at the fag end of life.

2153. Too many cooks spoil the dish. Too many invitees for a function result in more expenditure, less hospitality, more hurt feelings and vice versa. 

2154. Knowing that it might hurt, we do certain things which is called courage. Stupidity is also the same. That is why life is hard.

2155. Gruntled means satisfied. The opposite is disgruntled. I am gruntled to find people never use gruntled but use only disgruntled.

2156. The moon is bigger and brighter when nearest to the earth and is called PERIGEE. It is smaller and dimmer when farthest and is called APOGEE.

2157. The average strength of a human bite is about 161 lbs (73kgs)per sq.inch. That of a crocodile is about 5000 lbs (2268kgs) per sq.inch.

2158. Founders of Adidas and Puma are brothers. When the brothers fight, the common enemy Nike is benefited whose market cap is higher.

2159. Atheists are found to be more intelligent than religious people. They dismiss religious beliefs as irrational, unscientific and untestable.

2160. It is advised to share the pleasure and to hide the pain. But people prefer to cry out their pains and hide the pleasure.

2161. I love the warmth inside the blanket, early in the morning, in very chilly weather, listening to soulful music, beside my wife.

2162. I love the long drive, without traffic, in my children’s car with family, listening to soulful music, sharing chilli coated idly and hot filter coffee.

2163. I love sitting near a window, watching the drizzles, nibbling my favourite snack, sipping hot tea and reading a romantic novel.

2164. I love sitting near the window in the train and observing kids pestering the father to get ice cream from the vendor and the mother chiding.

2165. I love standing near the water on the marina beach on a sultry day tasting cut mangoes coated with red chilli powder feeling the chill waves on my feet.

EXPECTATIONS !!!

Expectations are different for different people. Here are a few in a family.

A wife expects just three things from her husband. 1. Sincerity, no cheating. 2. To appreciate and to recognise. 3. To love her parents.

A husband expects just three things from his wife. 1. Good appearance. 2. Tasty food. 3. Good home management.

A son/daughter expects just three things from their parents? 1. A bicycle, 2. A smartphone and 3. The tv remote. That’s all !!!

The aged parents expect just three things from their earning children. 1. Caring. 2. Sharing. 3. Loving.

Random thoughts 2136 to 2150.

2136. Until we understand why pizza is made round and packed in a square box and eaten as a triangle, we will not understand the women.

2137. When the FINAL bank balance is going to be zero for every one of us, what is the purpose of amassing wealth instead of a contended life.

2138. The Supreme Court said that a homemaker is no less than a salaried person. Their services cannot be measured in terms of money.

2139. Who is to pay the bill at the restaurant when Man and woman go together ? Is it MEN(U) ? Or is it ME (N) U ?

2140. It is common courtesy or manners to talk as little as possible on the phone and not to disconnect it until the caller finishes his talk.

2141. Ayurveda recommends two meals a day. A big brunch at 11 am and a big meal at 6 pm. It calls a person who eats thrice a day is a rogi (sick).

2142. World shortest woman Jothi Amge from India who is 24.7” met world’s tallest man Sultan Kosen from Turkiye who is 8’3” at California on Monday.

2143. There are always two parties to a marriage. One is always right and the other is the husband.

2144. When we are stressed we eat ice cream, chocolate and sweets. Do you know why? Reverse the word STRESSED. You get DESSERTS.

2145. Whenever you walk with your wife, just hold her hand affectionately. Don’t hesitate to do it. That speaks volumes to her.

2146. I always sympathise with the traffic constable standing in the middle of the road braving the sun, inhaling the dust and serving the public.

2147. What is the opposite of “Children make mistakes in the dark”. Opposite: Mistakes in the dark make children.

2148. Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want. After seeing what the other person has, you wish you have ordered it.

2149. “à la carte” is ordering individual dishes from a menu in a restaurant. “Table d'hôte” is where a set menu is offered by the restaurant.

2150. As per records DOSA was first found in 6th century. Potatoes came to India in 16th century. So it took 800 years to make Masala Dosa.

A LETTER FROM NEWLY MARRIED DAUGHTER

Dear Mom,

Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my younger days. I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming.

But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family. I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day. I am expected to be presentable every time. 

I can’t just go out anytime I want to. I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family. I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to. I am expected to be active and around the family. I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family.

And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you, mom. Sometimes I think of coming back to you and getting pampered again.

I want to come home to my favourite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends. I want to sleep on your laps like I have no worry in this world. 

But then I suddenly realize, had you not got married and made such sacrifices in your life, I wouldn’t have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to. And suddenly, the purpose of all this becomes clear- to return the same comfort, peace and happiness to my new family that I got from you.

And I am sure that as time would pass, I would start loving this life equally as you do. Thank you mom for all the sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me the strength to do the same.

Love you.

TYPES OF HUSBANDS !!!!

 1: BACHELOR HUSBAND:

Does things on his own without consulting wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.

2: ACIDIC HUSBAND:

Is always boiling like acid and always angry violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous.

3: BOSSING HUSBAND:

Wants to be treated like a King but treats his Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to follow old tradition and hates being called by their first name.

4: NORMAL HUSBAND:

Husband for every woman. loves and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and has more female friends.

5: DRY HUSBAND

Very moody and stingy, doesn't consider wife's interest, doesn't make the relationship enjoyable. Has no sense of humour.

6: CROCIN HUSBAND:

Uses wife as a problem solver, only loves wife when in need of something from her. He's clever and knows his wife's weaknesses and capitalizes on that to get relief from his wife.

7: PARASITE HUSBAND.

Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of money. Uses wife's money on girlfriends. No initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilities.

8: BABY HUSBAND

Irresponsible and childish and can't make decisions on his own without asking his mother or relatives; subjects his wife to relatives' dictates thereby running to them when things go wrong.

9: VISITING HUSBAND

Not always at home, comes as a visitor. Provides family with all material things but has no time for them.

10: TRUE HUSBAND:

Caring and loving; he provides material and emotional needs and makes time for family. He guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.

ADVICE TO BRIDE TO BE.

Make sure you study your guy very well and know the group to which he belongs before deciding so that you will not regret later. 

Random thoughts 2121 to 2135.

2121. It is an offence to kill dogs that spread rabies. But it is not an offence to kill harmless chicken, goats, buffalo and pigs. How come?

2122. “Caesar’s wife is beyond suspicion" means if one is romantically involved with a prominent figure, one must avoid negative scrutiny.

2123. All our experiences in life make us not less valuable but more valuable, not less able to love but more able to love.

2124. Love actually cures people, both the ones who give love and also the ones who receive love.

2125. There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved; it is God’s finger on man’s shoulders.

2126. New employees think that the organisation is important to them. Old employees think that they are important to the organisation.

2127. In IIT JEE (2024), 23 people scored 100%. Telangana 7, Andhra 3, Rajasthan 3, Maharashtra 3, Delhi 2, Haryana 2, Gujarat 1, Karnataka 1, Tamilnadu 1.

2128. When asked how his employees are punctual, a businessman said “out of thirty parking lots in my office, I keep one as paid parking lot”.

2129. In 1800, it was feared that telephones would destroy the community by invading privacy, make people lazy and anti social.

2130. Dutch trains run entirely on wind energy. A wind mill running for an hour can power a train for 20 miles without any emissions.

2131. Reading books and listening to the learned develop knowledge. Sharing that knowledge to impress others makes one a better speaker.

2132. 15th February is the childhood cancer day which is formed due to genetics disorder. This can be cured unlike adult cancer.

2133. 84% of Indians are glued to their smartphones after waking up spending 31% of their time of the day leading to health issues.

2134. The toilets should not be flushed with the lid open as otherwise the plumes will spread bacteria and viruses through out the bathroom.

2135. The son told his father that there is a small get together at the school. The father asked how small? The son said: the principal, you and me.

IRONIES IN INDIA!!!

1. Politicians Divide Us, Terrorists Unite Us.

  

2. Everyone Is In a Hurry ,But NO ONE Reaches In Time

3. The actress Earned More Money Playing Mary Kom, Than Mary Kom Earned In Her Entire Career. 

4. Most People Who Fight Over Gita And Quran, Have Probably Never Read Any Of Them.

5. We Rather Spend More On Our Daughter's WEDDING Than On Her EDUCATION

6. The SHOES That We Wear Are Sold In Air Conditioned Show Rooms,The VEGETABLES That We Eat Are Sold On The Footpaths.

7. We Live In A Country Where Seeing A POLICEMAN Makes Us Nervous Rather Than Feeling Safe.

8. In IAS Exam, A Person Writes an Essay About How Dowry Is A Social Evil but His Parents Demand  Dowry In Crores, as He Is An IAS.

9. People Are Obsessed With Screen Guards On Their Smartphones But Never Bother Wearing A HELMET While Riding Bikes.

Artificial Lemon Flavour Is Used For 

"WELCOME DRINK"And Real Lemon Is Used In "FINGER BOWL"

EVALUATION OF A FATHER!!!

5 years old - Dad knows everything! 

7 years old - Dad knows. 

10 years old - Maybe Dad doesn’t know?! 

12 years old - Dad doesn’t know. 

14 years old - Dad's gone crazy! 

16 years old - Can’t take Dad seriously. 

18 years old - What does dad know?! 

22 years old - Dad's talking rubbish! 

24 years old - I know more than Dad!

26 years old - Dad seems to know some things after all. 

30 years old - Think I should ask Dad about this?! 

40 years old - It’s amazing how Dad went through all this! 

45 years old - Dad's been right all along. 

50 years old - If Dad was here, I could have learned a lot.