NO SHAME IN ASKING

I do not know why my father was so averse to the word ASKING. When I was a boy, if I ASKED my mother to serve me more vegetables, he used to chide me saying that ASKING was the worst habit. He said if vegetables were available, the mother would serve on her own. Afterward, he explained to me that I would only be disappointed if I was refused.

Later, when I was running my family after marriage, one day, he scolded me in uncertain terms to ASK for the newspaper from my neighbour as I was not buying. He said it was a shame to ASK anything from anyone. Your palm should always face downwards [giving] but not upwards [receiving].

Due to his influence on me, I also became averse to ASKING. That was the reason why I never took any hand loan from anyone in my life. Even from my wife, I never ASKED for anything whether it was food or biscuits or snacks or even a towel I missed to take to the bathroom. Even when I was hungry, I used to wait patiently for her to call me for dinner.

This was the practice until last year when we came to join my son's family. My wife has told my DIL about my nature in not ASKING for anything. So she used to come in person to call me for dinner or breakfast or to give biscuits, snacks etc at the appropriate time. However, when she is busy attending to the needs of my son or her daughter it may get delayed.

I used to be in a dilemma on such occasions. Sometimes she used to come rushing down to give me the items. I could understand that she is busy and that my wife has become old. She is like a daughter to me and there is no shame in ASKING her what I need. So I dropped my ego and started ASKING her even before she came forward to give me.