It was 1966. I was 21. I just finished my degree. I got employment in the co-operative dept. of the Madras state Govt on a temporary basis as Junior Inspector of Coop Societies. The posting was at Pudukottai near Tiruchy. My uncle, father's elder brother, was living there with his family.
He was a humble and pious man and he liked my father and me very much. He used to stay with us many times. His only daughter, my cousin sister, was of my age and we were close. We were studying in the same class in school and we used to vie with each other in getting more marks.
When I was about to leave, my father told me not to stay in his brother's house but to take up a room. He also told me to visit his brother and to seek their blessings. Later, he had helped his brother in getting his daughter married and also presented her with diamond ear and nose studs.
After 15 years in 1981, due to old age, his brother wanted to settle with his daughter in Nagpur. My father sent them to me at Madras and asked me to keep them for a week and to send them to Nagpur and also to give them some money. I sent them by sleeper in Ganga Kaveri express and gave him Rs. 300/ for pocket expenses with food and water for the journey. My father was happy.
I really wonder about my father, who was very close and also fond of his elder brother, asked me not to stay with them but to help them when they were in need. He used to advise me not to receive anything from anybody but only to give. In other words, my palm should always be downward [giving] and not upward [receiving].
When we stay with someone, we cannot keep our eyes closed. We may observe something unpleasant. We may be unhappy, we may try to interfere or we may try to advise. Nowadays, we do not mind about self-respect and we go and stay with anyone, without bothering about how close the relationship is, for our personal gains. Lifestyle has changed a lot.
In those days, even parents did not wish to stay with the married daughter. For the simple reason, they could not share the space with the SIL's parents. Even if they were elsewhere, they would not prefer to stay because they would be unhappy if there was a misunderstanding between their daughter and SIL or if the SIL treated their daughter badly.
It is no better, in the case of the married son. That is why, in the Hindu dharma, it is advised that the father after fulfilling his duties to the family, should leave the mother with the children and go elsewhere to lead his own life as he pleases. If the mother is willing to come with him then he can take her also. This is called VANAPRASTHAM.
He was a humble and pious man and he liked my father and me very much. He used to stay with us many times. His only daughter, my cousin sister, was of my age and we were close. We were studying in the same class in school and we used to vie with each other in getting more marks.
When I was about to leave, my father told me not to stay in his brother's house but to take up a room. He also told me to visit his brother and to seek their blessings. Later, he had helped his brother in getting his daughter married and also presented her with diamond ear and nose studs.
After 15 years in 1981, due to old age, his brother wanted to settle with his daughter in Nagpur. My father sent them to me at Madras and asked me to keep them for a week and to send them to Nagpur and also to give them some money. I sent them by sleeper in Ganga Kaveri express and gave him Rs. 300/ for pocket expenses with food and water for the journey. My father was happy.
I really wonder about my father, who was very close and also fond of his elder brother, asked me not to stay with them but to help them when they were in need. He used to advise me not to receive anything from anybody but only to give. In other words, my palm should always be downward [giving] and not upward [receiving].
When we stay with someone, we cannot keep our eyes closed. We may observe something unpleasant. We may be unhappy, we may try to interfere or we may try to advise. Nowadays, we do not mind about self-respect and we go and stay with anyone, without bothering about how close the relationship is, for our personal gains. Lifestyle has changed a lot.
In those days, even parents did not wish to stay with the married daughter. For the simple reason, they could not share the space with the SIL's parents. Even if they were elsewhere, they would not prefer to stay because they would be unhappy if there was a misunderstanding between their daughter and SIL or if the SIL treated their daughter badly.
It is no better, in the case of the married son. That is why, in the Hindu dharma, it is advised that the father after fulfilling his duties to the family, should leave the mother with the children and go elsewhere to lead his own life as he pleases. If the mother is willing to come with him then he can take her also. This is called VANAPRASTHAM.
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