Hi friends,
Only the children make their parents. They are created by God. They are innocent, timid, immature, friendly, and adorable. Children will remove all our stress. Everyone has a way to bring up his child. The child has to grow physically, mentally, and intellectually. It will take time and you will have to be patient. Once you are successful in bringing up your child on the right track, you will be happy forever.
1. NO BEATING THE KIDS: If you beat your child for their mistakes you are not human. It will only develop a revenge attitude in the child and wait for the opportune time to give it back to you. Once it grows stronger than you, it will start beating you. Much lower-level parents are suffering due to this.
2. TALK TO THEM: The secret lies in the way how you talk to your kids. The children take everything literally and the way you talk to them goes a long way in building their personalities. As a parent, sometimes we say things that we don't really mean, but the damage has already been done.
3. YOU ARE A BAD CHILD: Negative talks kill self-esteem. They are innocent and believe in goodness. Tell them to be good. Explain what is bad and how it hurts others. Tell them that they are the best and they will love you and will never let you down. Teach them right and wrong and to value good things.
4. SAY NO TO "NO": No is rejection. It is too harsh. They don't expect it from you. They lose confidence in you. Instead of saying a blunt no give them options to choose. Put it in pleasant words to make them understand and love you. At the same time, it is your responsibility to see that they are not spoiled.
5. DON'T TALK TO ME: Most people think that the child will obey if they say "don't talk to me" You are only closing the communication. You are not educating them. They are not grown-ups like you. Allow them to share with you. Tell them the importance. Convince with your words, tone and actions. Keep talking till they buy your point. You may keep a sad face and they will come to you.
6. NO COMPARISON: Never compare with others especially with another brother or sister or friend. This will never give any positive result. They only become jealous and start disliking the sibling. They feel dejected and lose confidence in themselves.
7. LEAVE ME ALONE: You may be busy. But the kid won't understand it. He may like your company and to be with you. You are everything to your child. Never ask them to leave you. Be patient and explain to them how you are busy and when you will be free. Share with them and make them understand that you are busy and how important it is for you.
8. I DON'T LIKE YOU: A child is not born as a problem child. They are replica of the parents. They learn maximum from you. They also learn from family, friends, and surroundings. If the children are problematic blame yourself. For problematic children, parents should be more patient and understanding.
9. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS": This is pure discouragement. Some children may like to do something but they may not be able to do it. It may be due to physical or intellectual inability. Just give them more chances. Or you may even join with them and do it together until they are capable of doing it by themselves. Otherwise, they will never take the initiative.
10. ONLY GIRLS/BOYS DO THAT: This is gender bias. Anyone can do anything. They are only learning. Do not stop them from exploring things. If a boy likes to help his mother to cut vegetables encourage him. Similarly for girls. Knowledge is important and that is real growth. Otherwise, it is only physical growth that is of no value in life.
11. I WILL REPORT TO DADDY: It instills anxiety and fear in the child. It shows you are incapable of handling the situation. The kid might have done something unintentionally or irresponsibly. If you want to report to your spouse, ask the kid about his opinion and if he is willing to go with you, do not threaten him by referring to daddy. The point is, the kid should understand his mistake.
12. ONLY KIDS DO THIS: Your child may be a grown-up one. Out of enthusiasm, he may do something. Don't say that only kids do it and not grown-ups like you. Please understand he gets some pleasure out of it. You may even join him. If he jumps with joy for something, instead of chiding him, you may also join with him and jump.
13. MORE CARE FOR THE GIRL: The girls are different anatomically, physically, mentally, intellectually, emotionally, and psychologically. At the opportune time, it is for her mother [and not the father] to teach her the nuances of living the life of a girl. There is no point in repenting later.
14. FINAL POINT: Many people are praying to God to give them a child. You are the blessed one. You must view the child, not as an adult. The ultimate goal is not in its intellectual brilliance. It is how much the child loves you, adores you, likes to be with you. You must make the child love you till your end. That is a success.
COMMENTS
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5:08 PM (14 hours ago)
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The article is nice. I think you can publish it. In modern days, most of the young parents follow most of the things mentioned by you.
But they may also have different opinions, beliefs, and their own practice, in their day-to-day life,on certain situations.. If they want, they may pick up something from yours if they believe in it, and it may help them.
Viji
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8:53 AM (1 hour ago)
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Dear Mama,
Thanks for sharing.
The points are all good. Most parents of today are overly protective and over-attentive to their kids. They don't want to hurt the kids in any way and give the kids everything they want even before they ask.
Nevertheless, all the points are good.
I will also take some of the points that you mention and will incorporate in my life as well.
Lots of love,
Gowri
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11:09 AM (31 minutes ago)
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Dear Mama,
The article is a very informative and practical approach to bringing up children.
Though some are difficult to follow...mostly because I am impatient...I will try to do most of it. Many a time I resolve to change myself but it lasts for a short while.
Thanks for sharing it with me. You should probably pick a nice topic, write a book and get it published.
Hope your tummy is OK nowadays
Warm regards to Manni, Surya Anu, and love to Sahara
Yours affectionately,
Vidhu
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