FINDING AN ALLIANCE FOR THE DAUGHTER

Hi friends,

The responsibility of the parents should end when the children get married. The children lose flexibility when they grow old. Adjusting and accepting is important for the success of a marriage. When one is young, he has the tendency to go along with people but in later years he becomes rigid. 

I also experienced difficulties in finding an alliance for my daughter. I would say that getting the son married is more difficult than a daughter. Because we know about our daughter but we do not know anything about the daughter-in-law.

My daughter is fair, beautiful, intelligent, well educated and well mannered. She wanted to help me until my son finished his education. But we decided to conduct her marriage at the age of 21. We did not prefer foreign boys. We preferred engineers as my daughter is an engineer.

The first alliance was from Coimbatore. His uncle was in Ashok Nagar, Chennai. We invited all our brothers and sisters to attend the girl seeing the ceremony. But only the uncle and his wife came. They regretted and said the boy wanted to study further.

The second alliance was from Hyderabad. He was a Chartered Accountant getting a fabulous salary. His parents saw our daughter and returned without saying a word. On the next day, we went to their house to get their opinion.

Their cousin asked us about the dowry. We did not like the way they started the discussion. We told them, we have not even seen the boy and the boy and the girl have not met and you want to discuss dowry. I said sorry and left the place.

The third one was also a Chartered Accountant. When we went to their house to invite them, we saw a middle-aged woman lying on the floor, reading a magazine. Beside her, a 3-month-old baby, with feces all over its body, was kicking its legs. 

Heads of ladies finger and clothes were strewn all over the place. A bulky man walked across the room without even bothering about us. A fat lady asked us what we wanted. My wife was not interested in. We gave some lame excuse and ran out of the house.

The fourth one was a civil engineer. They had a construction business and the boy studied civil Engg in the US. A Gurkha allowed us to go inside the house after checking with the master. However, we were not in favour of rich people.

The fifth one was a software Engg in Microsoft. The boy was handsome. We noticed the boy taking a bite from his father's tiffin plate. This gesture showed the understanding between the father and son. 

The parents saw our daughter and took her photo to show it to the boy. The mother was very friendly. After one week, we went to their house to know their stand. The mother said she did not show the photo to her son. 

After a week we went. Again the mother gave the same reply. We went again after another week and the mother had not shown the photo to the son. I got upset and asked her to return the photo and I said  I was not interested.

The mother was so possessive about her son and she was even reluctant to show the photo to him. It is not advisable to give the daughter in marriage to a boy whose mother is possessive about him. The couple cannot lead a peaceful life.