Normally, I do not write on communal matters. However, I wish to write about how brahmin weddings are conducted in south India. It is just for knowledge. I am a brahmin and I have conducted the weddings of my daughter and son and I wish to share my experiences.
The brahmin weddings are conducted as if it is the wedding between Lord Vishnu and Goddess Sri Lakshmi, and not between a man and woman. The bridegroom is considered as the Lord and the bride as the Goddess. The bride's parents give the girl as a gift to the bridegroom which is called "Kanyadhan".
To commence with, both sides exchange the horoscopes of the girl and boy and see their compatibility. Then, each side discretely inquires about the other side regarding their status, etc. Then the girl's parents formally announce the agreement of the horoscopes and invite the boy's parents to come with the boy to see the girl.
Then the "boy seeing the girl" ceremony is arranged at the girl's residence. Not more than two or three people accompany the boy to see the girl. A sweet, snack and coffee are provided to the visitors. Only after getting the concurrence of both the girl and the boy, the terms of the wedding are discussed by the parents.
Then a formal betrothal is arranged, at the boy's residence, to confirm their mutual acceptance in writing. The brahmins generally believe that receiving anything from anybody affects one's self-respect. Hence, the boy's parents do not demand any dowry and they believe that the girl's parents would do well for their daughter.
However, the boy's parents insist that the wedding should be conducted decently and that their people should be treated well at the wedding. The girl's parents, depending upon their financial condition, decide about the gifts that they can give to their daughter and other expenses.
Normally, the girl's parents give the girl about 10 to 15 sovereigns of gold jewels, about one Kg of silver vessels, a few silk sarees for the girl, essential household utensils. Cash, about Rs.10,000, is given for the groom's wedding dress. The wedding expenses are borne by the bride's parents.
The groom's parents buy the Mangalsutra or Thirumangalyam as per their family tradition, a 9 yards silk saree, and a pair of toe rings made of silver for the bride. In some families, the mothers of the bride and groom mutually buy a silk saree for the other. To and fro expenses for attending the wedding are borne by the groom's parents. In some cases, the groom's mother also gifts the bride with a gold ornament.
Normally, the wedding is done in the bride's house which is considered to be auspicious. Nowadays, due to lack of space, it is conducted in wedding halls. During the wedding, the bride's parents are considered to be the hosts, and the bridegroom's parents are the guests.
The groom's parents, since they are the guests, inform the bride's parents, well in advance, of the approximate number of people that will attend the wedding from their side to make it easy for the bride's parents to plan for the dinners. The wedding is celebrated for 2 days covering two evenings and two nights. I do not wish to elaborate on every detail of the wedding procedure.
On the first evening, an actual betrothal is conducted followed by dinner. On the next morning, the wedding takes place followed by dinner. In the evening, a reception is arranged for people who could attend the wedding followed by dinner. At night, the nuptial is arranged. On the next morning, the bride is sent off with her husband.
After tying the Mangalsutra, the newlywed couple takes seven steps which are called Sapthapathi. The meaning for the 7 steps is as follows: The first step is to pray for food and nourishments, second step-for strength, third step-for prosperity, fourth step-for family welfare, fifth step-for progeny, sixth step-for health, seventh step-for loyalty. After the seventh step, the couple legally becomes husband and wife. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.
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