Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Random thoughts 2541 to 2555.

2541. The Greek word “chilioi”means a thousand. It is pronounced as Khil-ee-oy. The French shortened it to Kilo or K.


2542. He who controls others may look to be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is actually mightier than others.


2543. To err is human, to forgive is divine, to moo is bovine, to bleat is ovine, to oink is porcine, to howl is lupine, to bark is canine, to purr is feline.


2544. Every U.S. citizen or permanent resident who work in the U.S. have to file a tax return if the income is over the filing requirement.


2545. In western countries blonde hair and blue eyes are considered beautiful. But in India it is the opposite.


2546. In the northern hemisphere, since the sun’s shadow on sundial moved from left to right, the clocks were set to move clockwise.


2547. Mostly the reaction of our opponents is the reflection of our thoughts, feelings and actions. So let our thoughts be positive.


2548. A perennial problem is a difficulty or situation that keeps happening or seems to always exist.


2549. Do you know why Re.1 is added to a gift? Because 0 is the ending and 1 is the beginning. Also it means that love cannot be divided.


2550. Halloween' comes before the Christian holy days of All Hallows' Day (All Saints' Day) on 1 Nov and All Souls' Day on 2 Nov.


2551. On the night of Oct 31, the eve of All Saints' Day, children dressed in costume and go door-to-door asking for candy.


2552. Nearly half of India’s alcohol (48%) is consumed by Tamilnadu, Kerala, Andra, Telangana and Karnataka.


2553. Sins are debit cards. Enjoy first pay later. Punyas are credit cards. Pay first enjoy later. Karma is a restaurant where it is served without ordering.


2554. நிர்வாண நிலை என்றால் எல்லாம் துறந்த நிலை - கர்மம் , மாயை , இன்பம் , துன்பம் , பிறவி எல்லாம் இல்லாத நிலையை எய்துவது.


2555. நான்மறையை கற்றவனா ஞானி?

"நான்" என்பது மறையக் கற்றவனே ஞானி!

Sunday, December 29, 2024

WHO IS CLEVER?

A man hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day. He took the cat 20 blocks away from his home and left it at the park. 


As he was getting home, the cat also walked the distance and came home. 


The next day he decided to leave the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast there and headed home. 


When he came back home, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat always kept coming back home.


At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. 


Hours later he called his wife and asked 

"Honey , is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answered, "why do you ask?"


Frustrated, the man answered, “I have lost my route,  and I need directions!"

Saturday, December 28, 2024

IDENTIFICATION!!!

Two old men were sitting in a bar.


One of them looked at the other and said,


"You look familiar... where are you from?"


The second old man replied, "India."


The first old man looked astonished and said,


"How come! I'm also from India.


The second old man then looked at the first and asked, "What city?"


The first old man said, "Chennai”.!!


The second old man looked surprised and said again,


“How come! I'm also from Chennai !!


The first man looked at the second old man, "What school did you go to?"


The second old man replied, "Saint Mary's, class of '89."


The first old man was absolutely baffled,

"How come! I am also from Saint Mary's class of '89 !!


At this point, another man came into the bar and asked the bartender,


"Hey, John, Anything interesting going on?"


The bartender said, 

“ nothing special, but our Murphy twins are drunk again."

Friday, December 27, 2024

சிரிப்பு வெடிகள்.

1. டாக்டருக்கும் ஆக்டருக்கும்

உள்ள ஒற்றுமை என்ன?


இரண்டு பேரும் தியேட்டருக்கு வரவழைச்சு தான் கொல்லுவாங்க!


2. சிவகாசிக்கும்

நெய்வேலிக்கும் என்ன வித்தியாசம்?


சிவகாசில காச கரியாக்குவாங்க.


நெய்வேலிலே கரிய காசாக்குவாங்க!


3. FILE க்கும் PILE க்கும் என்ன வித்தியாசம்?


FILES அ உட்கார்ந்து பார்க்கணும்.


PILES க்கு பார்த்து உட்காரணும்.


4. செல்போனுக்கும்

மனிதனுக்கும் என்ன

வித்தியாசம்?


மனிதனுக்கு கால் இல்லேன்னா பேலனஸ் பண்ண முடியாது.


செல் போன்ல பேலன்ஸ் இல்லேன்னா கால் பண்ண முடியாது.


5. ஓவ்வொரு இளைஞனின்

மன உளைச்சலுக்கும்

காரணம்?


மதிப்பெண்ணும்

மதிக்காத பெண்ணும்!


6. வசதி இல்லாதவன்

ஆடு மேய்க்கிறான்!


வசதி உள்ளவன் நாய் மேய்க்கிறான்!


7. ஆண்களை

அதிக தூரம் நடக்க வைக்கும்

விஷயங்கள் ரெண்டு?


ஒன்று பிகர், மற்றொன்று சுகர்!


8. என்னதான் சென்டிமென்ட் பார்த்தாலும் கப்பல் கிளம்பும்போது


பூசணிக்காய் எலுமிச்சம் பழம் வச்சு நசுக்கினாலும்


சங்கு ஊதிட்டுதான் கிளம்பும்.


9. கணிப் பொறிக்கும் எலிப் பொறிக்கும் என்ன வித்தியாசம்???


கணிப் பொறியில் எலி வெளியே இருக்கும்.


எலிப் பொறியில் எலி உள்ளே இருக்கும்.

Thursday, December 26, 2024

INNOCENCE !!!

A four-year-old little boy was at the doctor’s office with his mother in the waiting room. 


He saw a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. 


Having nothing to do, he walked over to her and inquisitively asked “Why is your stomach so big?” 


She replied, “I’m having a baby.” 


With wide eyes, he replied, “Is the baby in your stomach?” 


She said, “He sure is.” 


Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, “Is it a good baby?” 


She said, “Oh, yes. It’s really a good baby.” 


The woman was thinking that the little boy is incredibly cute and looks forward to what he would say next… 


And, much to her great surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asked . “Then why did you eat him?" !!!!!

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

Random thoughts 2526 to 2540.

2526. Once people leave, a home becomes a house. It is just a place where we keep our stuff and go out to get more stuff.


2527. Ours is a leased life with uncertain tenure given by the LANDLORD whose terms are non-negotiable and there is no court of appeal.


2528. Some are genuinely innocent and ignorant. Some are deliberately ignorant. Some are intelligent enough to ignore.


2529. The letter W is a dangerous letter. Who, why, when, where, which, whom, war, whiskey, wine, women, wife are the examples.


2530. In cases of "adulteration" and "adultery", the plea that the substitute is better than the original, is not valid.


2531. Do you still remember what your teacher taught you in school about how to change “as soon as“ into a negative form?


2532. Do you still remember the rules taught by your teacher in school for changing active voice into passive voice and interrogatory sentence?


2533. I have an iPhone. I have 120 contacts. I have mobile connection with data. I have WhatsApp. I rarely make a call or send message.


2534. ABCD not used anywhere in spelling 1-99. D is used in hundred.

ABC not used anywhere in 1-999. A is used in thousand.

BC not used anywhere in 1-99,99,999. C is used in crore.

B not used anywhere in 1-999,999,999. It is used in billion.


2535. Keep your spouse’s picture on mobile screen. When you face a problem, see the picture & say “if I can handle this, I can handle anything”.


2536. A statement is a sentence that says something is true, like "the Sun rises in the east." Most of my posts are just a statement.


2537. If we find anything good in others we should try to follow it. If we find anything bad in others we should try to reject it.


2538. The comparative degree of happy is happier. To emphasis the degree of happiness you can say "more happy" or "happier" but "more happier" is incorrect.


2539. Real happiness lies in helping others wholeheartedly. It is the only occasion when both the giver and the receiver are happy.


2540. “How did the earlier generation killed boredom without internet?”, he asked his 7 uncles and 6 aunts.