Dharbai ( தர்பை )

Q: What is the Dharbai  ( தர்பை ) used for rituals in india?

A: You are most likely referring to Darbha grass widely known as Kusha grass, it is a sacred tropical grass (Eragrostis cynosuroides) that holds an indispensable role in Hindu and Vedic rituals across India.

Vedic scriptures revere Darbha as a powerful purifier and shield against negative energies, making it a staple in both daily worship and major life-cycle ceremonies.

The primary ritual uses of Darbha grass in India include:

1. Sacred Seating (Asana)

Priests, sages, and devotees traditionally utilize mats woven from Darbha grass to sit on during meditation, prayer, or fire sacrifices (homams). It is believed to insulate the body from losing spiritual energy to the earth and protect the practitioner from lower astral influences. Even Lord Krishna prescribes a Kusha-grass seat for meditation in the Bhagavad Gita.

2. The Pavitram (Ritual Finger Ring)

Before commencing any Vedic ritual, the person performing the rite must wear a ring made of knotted Darbha grass, called a Pavitram, on the right ring finger. The number of leaves used to tie the ring changes strictly depending on the nature of the ritual: 

1 leaf: Used for funeral rites and death-related ceremonies.

2 leaves: Used for auspicious everyday routines and standard prayers.

3 leaves: Used for ancestral rites (Pitru Pooja / Tarpanam).

4 leaves: Used for temple prayers and large-scale worship. 

3. Vibration Conduction and Water Purification.

During a site-cleansing ritual called Shudhhi Punyaahavachanam, a priest holds a bunch of Darbha grass and places the tips into a vessel of water while chanting mantras. It is traditionally believed that the pointed tip of the grass acts as a natural conductor, absorbing the phonetic vibrations of the mantras and infusing them into the water. This holy water is then sprinkled to purify the surroundings.

4. Protection During Eclipses.

Because Darbha is considered an excellent blocker of negative cosmic energies, elders across India place blades of the grass over cooked food, water containers, and raw grains during solar and lunar eclipses. This is done to shield the food from becoming toxic due to the atmospheric radiation associated with eclipses.

5. Boundary Protection for Fire Altars.

During major fire rituals (Havans or Yagnas), bundles of Darbha grass are strewn or placed along all four sides of the sacrificial fire pit (Agni Kundam). This acts as a protective spiritual perimeter to lock in positive energies and block out negative forces.

Source: Google.

TAMIL IYENGAR COMMUNITY.

Q: what are the subsects in tamil brahmin iyengar community and their significance?

A: The Tamil Brahmin Iyengar community is primarily divided into two main theological denominations and several geographic or historical sub-groupsbased on Visishtadvaita philosophy propounded by Ramanuja. 

Major Denominations (Sects)

Vadakalai (Northern School):

Significance: Follows the Sanskrit-heavy tradition and looks toward Vedanta Desika as a primary authority. They view attaining divine grace as requiring active human effort (Markata Nyaya or the "monkey school" principle, where a baby monkey holds onto its mother). Their caste mark (Thirunamam) is shaped like a 'U' with a central red line (Srichurnam). 

Thenkalai (Southern School):

Significance: Places greater emphasis on Tamil Divya Prabhandhamhymns and looks toward Manavala Mamunigal as a primary authority. They believe divine grace is completely unearned and given solely by God's choice (Marjala Nyaya or the "cat school" principle, where a mother cat carries her kitten). Their caste mark is shaped like a 'Y' extending down to the bridge of the nose. 

Geographic and Historical Sub-groups:

Hebbar Iyengars:

Significance: Settled mostly in Karnataka with mixed Tamil-Kannada ancestry. They traditionally speak a distinct dialect of Iyengar Tamil and have adapted local administrative and cultural traditions while maintaining strict Sri Vaishnavite practices. 

Mandayam Iyengars:

Significance: Originally migrated to the Mandya region of Karnataka. A notable historical marker of this sub-group is that they traditionally abstain from celebrating Diwali (Deepavali) in the conventional joyous manner to commemorate a tragic community massacre that occurred around 1773. 

Chozhiar / Other regional groupings:

Significance: Sub-divisions tied to native geographic roots within Tamil Nadu (such as parts of the Chola region), representing early or localised communities of Sri Vaishnavas who integrated regional temple worship with Abhaya Vedanta. 

Source: Google.

TAMIL IYER COMMUNITY.

Q: What are the subsects in tamil brahmin iyer community and their significance?

A: The Tamil Brahmin Iyer community—followers of the Smarta tradition and Advaita Vedanta philosophy—is traditionally divided into several major subsects based on migration history, linguistic and ritual traditions, and regional settlements. 

Major Subsects of the Iyer Community.

Vadama:

Meaning: "Northern" (referring either to being more recent migrants from the north or strict adherence to Sanskrit Vedic culture of northern origin).

Significance: Generally considered the largest subsect, traditionally viewed as strict upholders of Vedic rituals, Sanskrit learning, and scriptural traditions. They are further split into groups like Vada Vadama, Chola Vadama, Bhalasharma, and Inji Vadama. 

Brahacharnam:

Meaning: "Great feet" or "Great migration" (Bṛhatcharaṇam).

Significance: Historically known for deep scholarship, administration, civil service, and military/command roles (such as Chola-era commanders like Senapathi Krishnan Raman). They are divided into distinct regional and cultural sub-groups such as Milaganur, Kandiramanickam, Mangudi, and Pazhamaneri. 

Ashtasahasram:

Meaning: Named historically after a group or settlement related to "eight thousand" (Ashta-sahasram).

Significance: A smaller sub-community that follows the Taittirīya śākhā of the Kr̥ṣṇa Yajurveda and are traditionally Aparaśikhā (wearing their traditional hair tuft at the back of the head). They are further split into four traditional groups: Āttiyūr, Arivarpede, Nandivādi, and Satkulam. 

Vathima:

Significance: A distinct sub-group historically concentrated in a few specific traditional villages (such as Periyavalavadi and surrounding areas) in the erstwhile Tanjore and Palakkad belts, known for preserving distinct dialect nuances and community customs.

Kerala Iyers:

Significance: Iyers who migrated centuries ago from Tamil Nadu (such as from Kumbakonam and Thanjavur) into neighboring Kerala. While retaining Tamil Brahmin heritage, dialect, and Smarta traditions, they adapted to local cultural ecosystems, built their own agraharam temples, and developed a unique sub-identity. 

Other Specialized / Minor Groups:

Groups like Shivacharyas/Kurukkal or Kaniyalars/Kaniars have specialized hereditary ritual or temple service functions within the broader Smarta/Shaivite framework. 

Cultural and Historical Significance:

Philosophical Core: Almost all Iyer subsects unite under Smarta-Advaita, revering Adi Shankara and practicing Panchayatana puja (worship of five primary deities: Shiva, Shakti, Vishnu, Ganesha, and Surya).

Social & Educational Role: Historically centered around the Cauvery delta and urban administrative hubs, Iyers played heavy roles in Vedic scholarship, classical Carnatic music, administration, law, and later modern science and literature (producing figures like C.V. Raman and S. Chandrasekhar).

Source: Google.

Giving advice to others.

It is human tendency to give unsolicited advice. People do not wish to seek advice from others. 

Normally, I don't advice anyone including my children, unless it is requested. However, there are certain exceptional cases. 

If I am impressed with the looks or body language or respectful words of a person, I advise them only three points.

1. For a school going student, I advise him to study well as education is important to him. 

2. For a college-going student, I say if he works hard for four years he can enjoy life for 40 years. If he enjoys for 4 years he will have to work hard for 40 years. I leave it to his choice.

3. If he is settled in life, whether married or not, I tell him to take care of his parents and to make them happy. 

4. If anyone seeks advice with all sincerity, I tell them “Do your duty without likes and dislikes, make your parents happy, help the poor and then pray to God.” Am I correct?

ACTION, INTENTION, AND LIFE.

ACTION AND INTENTION

To decide whether an act is good or bad, both action and intention should be considered. Of the two, the intention is important.

1. An Act with good intention and good action is always good.

2. An Act with good intention but with bad action is also good.

Eg. You find a scorpion near a lady. You pull her away to save her from the scorpion. Pulling the lady is bad action but the intention to save her is good. So the act is good.

3. An Act with bad intention but with good action is bad.

Eg. You have a soiled currency. No one is accepting it. You give it to a blind beggar.  Giving money to the beggar is a good action but the intention to give away the soiled note is bad intention. Hence the act is bad.

4. An Act with bad intention and bad action is always bad.

LIFE

To lead a good life, we must first get rid of evil thoughts in our mind, speech, and conduct. We must be continuously engaged in developing good thoughts and doing good deeds prescribed by the Sastras.

A sanyasi was asked how he overcomes the promptings of lust [kaama]. He replied that whenever kaama knocked at his mind's door, it found him so busy that it went away on its own accord.

An idle mind is the devil's workshop. If we are always busy with good deeds, evil thoughts will not come near us. 

In the very process of doing good deeds, evil automatically vanishes from our mind. Doing good-deeds keeps us constantly thinking of God and thereby we earn His grace all the time.

I don’t help my wife!!!!

A friend came to my house for coffee. We talked about life. In the middle of the conversation, I told him "please wait for some time as I have to wash the dishes in the kitchen". 

He was surprised. He then said: "I am glad you help your wife but I do not help because my wife does not praise me".

I told him that I did not "help" my wife. Actually, my wife does not need any help, she only needs a partner. I am a partner at home. 

I clean the house because I live here. I cook because I want to eat. I wash the dishes because I use those dishes. I help my children as a father. I wash, spread or fold clothes because the clothes are mine and my children. I am part of the house. 

I asked my friend when was the last time did you praise your wife and said "thank you, sweetheart! You are fantastic" 

Does that sound absurd to you? When you expected her to praise, you never thought about praising her, because you thought everything was her job. Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without your moving the little finger. 

Praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs. 

Feel at home. It is your house. The real change in the society should begin from the home, let us teach our children the real meaning of responsibility.