MY BIOGRAPHY-- PART 3--IN PURSUIT OF PEACE

PART  3 [NEXT 24 YEARS FROM 1992 TO 2016]

God has different plans. Nobody knows it. When a person receives something good, his joy knew no bounds. He jumps from sky to earth. When he meets with a misfortune, he loses his cool. He gets dejected. He feels he has lost everything. He concludes there is no future for him. To take both success and failure equally, one must have equilibrium of mind. It is rare to see a person like that. I was so sad. Both myself and my wife did not sleep that night. Though there was no immediate danger as we had the money given by my father-in-law,  it was my wife's money and I had to stand on my own legs.

On the next day, I did not go to office. I talked to my next brother who was working as senior manager in a leading bank. I explained to him the situation and requested him whether he could help me in getting a job at Chennai. He said he would find out and asked me to contact him in the night. When I contacted him, he said, Southern Painters, a proprietary firm, would be willing to hire me. The salary would be around 3000 PM. I thanked him and told him that I would return to Chennai and accept it. He said I was Welcome. I informed Mr.Surana of Hartex that I was unable to continue and was returning to Chennai. He felt sorry and wished me good luck.

I packed my luggage and returned to Chennai. My brother was staying in my house as he has rented out his flat. Since his tenant was unable to vacate the flat, he was also not able to vacate my house. So I had to take another house on rent. I immediately admitted my son in the school. Within two days, I called on the MD, Mr Rajappan, of Southern Painters, and joined duty.They were doing painting works mainly on oil tanks of oil companies like IOC, HPCL, BPCL etc. The staff was mostly on site, and in the office, we were only four. The timing was 9 to 5. The main jobs were writing of accounts, preparation of bills for jobs completed, and follow up for payments.

The job  somehow was not to my liking. The person who was writing the accounts did not like me as I had superseded him. They were not doing the job perfectly. The owner's son was troublesome. However, I continued in the job out of  necessity. After having worked in corporate offices, working in a small firm did not go well with me. What to do then? It was my fate and I had to endure it. One day when I was leaving the office, the boss called me and gave me a cover containing Rs.5000/.  He asked me to handover the cover to a person living  in Anna nagar. I knew that person and  it was a bribe for him to pass our pending bills. What would happen to me if I was caught by police? Being the son of a father who stood for principles in his life, I returned the cover to him and told him that I was not willing to do such work and I was resigning the job and I would not be coming on the next day. Was I a fool?

I did not know how I gained confidence in life. Is it due to age or experience or the prosperity I had gained or the frustration in life. It may be anything. My daughter finished her 12th std. In the summer vocation, we went to our sister's house in Bangalore.  My children and their two daughters were good friends. My brother-in-law was a metallurgical engineer. He was running a small unit manufacturing foundry chemicals. Their life was more interesting than mine. They both were running the unit together. One day, my sister asked me whether I would be interested in joining them. I had to market their product in Coimbatore and collect payment. She offered 2000 PM and 2% commission on sales. I agreed and worked with them for 4 years from 1992 to 1996.

Coimbatore is a nice place in TamilNadu. The weather is good suitable for foundries. The people and hotels are good. It is the major market for foundry products. From small units to big factories there are around 600 units. It is not easy to market your products here. There are as many companies to supply the product. The competition is high. Foceco is the major supplier. People are ready to take their product even if the price is high. They hesitated to take your product even if your quality is better. Because of the competition and availability of many products, to get  order is difficult. Other suppliers are ready to wait for payment. So to get payment is also very difficult. In short it is a buyer's market.

Without forgetting my father's words, I admitted my daughter in Engineering. Unlike me, my daughter was good at studies. Meanwhile, I conducted the Upanayanam of my son in 1995. I have written an article on this under the title "WIFE IS YOUR LIFE". During those 4 years with my sister, I was able to further improve upon my financial position and also met my children's educational expenses. I may not be in a better level, if I had continued in Hartex or in DCW. All credit went to my sister. I understood that God had different plans for me. To give me something better, He took away another thing. On the whole, my position was improving. My wife led a simple life without being extravagant and due to her help I could save more. I have written an article in my blog under the caption "A DAUGHTER WANTED TO KILL THE FATHER"

Once again, life was moving smooth in the right track. My daughter had come to the final year BE, and my son had finished his 12 std. Both of them were not lacking in education or in discipline or in giving respect to elders. Whenever I looked at them, I thought how I was in their age. They were far better than me in all aspects. Unlike my father, I was very happy with them. They fulfilled all my dreams as a child, as a student and as a family member. My daughter was 21 and the son was 17. One day, we sat together for discussions. I wanted to get my daughter married. I believed in getting girls married early as it was beneficial to them in all aspects. But my daughter said she would work and support the family till my son finished his studies. If my father was alive, he would have been very much pleased with this answer. I started searching for a suitable alliance for my daughter. I have written an article under the caption "FINDING AN ALLIANCE FOR THE DAUGHTER" expressing my experiences.

In March 1997, the boy's parents came to see my daughter. I always preferred the parents to see the girl first and got satisfied so that the boy could come later. They liked the girl and returned home. On the next day, they telephoned that their son had come and they wanted to come again. They came in the evening and both the boy and the girl met. The boy's name was Kartik and he was a chemical engineer from BITS Pilani and was working in HPCL at Vizag. They liked each other and the betrothal was conducted. The next day he was leaving for Vizag and I sent my daughter to the station to see him off. After sometime he got admission in IIM to do PGDM and they came to my house to discuss about study/wedding. My daughter categorically told them that he should do IIM and for that she was ready to be away from him for two years after the wedding. What a gesture!!!

In 1996, the understanding between me and my brother-in-law came to an end.  I was once again jobless and there was no income to the family. However, as a father, I was more interested in her well being. We conducted her wedding on 22nd August 1997, just after her passing the BE. She came second in the University. My son-in-law was also an engineer from BITS Pilani.  He did his PGDM in IIM after the wedding. My son finished his 12th std. When I wanted to admit him in BE there was demand for capitation fee. My son rejected my proposal to pay capitation fee and said he would study B.Sc and MCA thereafter. I allowed him to go as per his wish. I have written an article in this connection under the caption "THIS LETTER IS 54 YEARS OLD" While doing his degree, he also did two year GNIIT course in computers. He finished his MCA and went for job in 2001. Meanwhile, I got my first grandson in 1999. My daughter had done her MBA and joined a leading college as lecturer in 2001. Both the son and daughter started supporting me.

At 54, when I got my first grandson Chi Pranav, I was in cloud nine. I used to carry him across the streets and teach him car, cow, tree, etc. en route. When he was 2 years old, he used to cuddle with me in bed and asked me to tell him a story. I told him the Lion and Mouse story wherein the mouse intelligently killed the lion in a well. I told the story with all fanfare and action and roared like a lion etc. to make him fear but he was smiling at me with his eyes wide open. I also made some interim questions and he answered them correctly. After the story was over, when I asked him whether he feared the lion, he said he would kill the lion himself if it came before him.

My wife chided me for scaring our grandson by roaring like a lion without knowing the fact that the little fellow was not at all perturbed by my antics. She took him away but only to return him after he cried to come back to me to listen to my story. My daughter, smiling like a Mona Lisa, enjoyed her parent's association with her kid. Whenever he wanted a story I repeated the same. One day, he asked for a different story, I could not tell him as I did not know any other kid's story. I just managed by telling him the same story changing the lion into tiger and the mouse into a squirrel. He said it was the same story and not a different one and he did not like it.

I appreciated his intelligence but I could not tell him a different story. He then did not ask for any story saying that he was fed up with lion and mouse story. The same scenario was repeated after 4 years with my second grandson Chi. Keshav and then after another 4 years with the granddaughter sow.Sahana when they were two years old. Now 20 years have passed and Chi. Pranav, after completing his school education in the US, is pursuing a career in Astro-Physics in the college. Even now whenever we meet he used to cuddle with me and lay beside me in the bed and start telling me the lion and mouse story. It is now my turn to tell him that I am fed up with the story. In this connection I have written an article THE ART OF STORY TELLING TO KIDS

In ten years, between 1992 to 2001, the money that my father-in-law gave, and all my earnings till then including my brother-in-law's firm, had vanished into thin air in the form of my children's education, daughter's wedding and family expenses for ten years. Not only I was jobless, I was also penny less. I was 56 and the future looked bleak. No one was willing to hire me. Once again I was in the street. Excepting the house, I didn't have anything. Good thing I had a house otherwise there would be no place to stay. God gave me only what I deserved and not what I desired. At that time, my children came to my support. I thought whether I was in the same track like my father. 

My children were wonderful. They gave their entire earnings. They didn't keep any thing for them. The family was like the car, my daughter was like the engine, my son was like the petrol and myself and my wife were like the drivers. They were not like the present day children. Myself and my wife decided to spend minimum and save maximum. Actually we wanted to live only in the interest part of our children's money. They have their future. I am old. If I lead a luxurious life with their money God would not forgive me. I should be a responsible father. In the present day world , housing, children's education and their wedding, parent's medical expenses and their retired living are very expensive. They have to save a lot to meet all these expenses. I should bear all these things in my mind before spending their money.

For your kind information and also guidance, I am  pleased to give below a statement showing my average monthly expenses for the last 15 years from 2001 to 2015.

Year         Food         Non food          Capital             Total
                                                        [Excl.house] 
  2001          2500             --                   1500              4000
      02         3000              --                  5340              8340 [surya MCA fees]
      03         3750              --                  1660               5410         -do-
      04         2845           2126                1529               6500
      05         2401           1889                1343               5633
      06         2309          1515                   813               4637   
      07         2687          1687                 1440               5814
​      08         2454​          2203                1809               6466
​      09         2495          1865                1059                5419​
​      10          2266          1235                1302               4803​
      
      11           2390          1358                2022              5770​
​      12          2838          1152                 2219               6209​
​      13          3580            822                1781               6183​
​      14          4300           1858                1026              7184​
​      15          4340           1874                1960              8174​
 Total         44155           19584              26803           90542
Average      3680            1632                2234              7546

I hope this will help you to know the type of life we were leading and why?

Until my daughter's wedding I was not suffering much. It was only from 2001 the misfortune started again. So my son was witness to everything. He had great understanding with his parents. He never demanded anything. He gave all his money. My daughter worked for only 3 years during 2001 to 2004 and she gave her full support. I had to thank my son in law for this fine gesture.Then she gave me another grandson in 2004. Thereafter she did not go for employment. My son continued to give from 2001 till 2015. Our daughter had gone to the US in 2006. She continued her teaching children there. She sent money every year, The contribution by both were equal. You won't believe that during this period, we not only lived our life but also saved their money. I am proud to say that whatever money they had given me, I have it now to be given back to them. Though I led a very economical life, I am happy that I had done the father's duty. I have written an article in my blog under the caption " A FATHER AND THE SON" and "AN OVERVIEW OF LAST 15 YEARS".

There was a wedding for my wife's sister's son at Srirangam. We both attended the wedding. Since I was on the look out for an alliance for my son, I always carried his horoscope and photo so that it is handy when I met prospective alliance, At the wedding hall I met a lady with whom a beautiful girl was sitting. I liked the girl and approached the lady. She said she was from Pudukottai and the girl was her neighbour's daughter and that her elder sister was for marriage. I gave my son's horoscope and photo to the girl and asked her to give it her father and if he was interested he could send the details of her sister on Email. From there I reached Hyderabad and I received the email in two days and decided to proceed further.

Myself and my wife went to Pudukottai and saw the girl. We liked her and thought that she would be suitable for our son. As my son could not come to Pudukottai to see the girl, I suggested to the father that he could bring the girl to Chennai and I would get my son from Hyderabad so that they could meet each other at Chennai. He said he did not have any one at Chennai. So I invited him to come to my house and we decided to have it done in my house. He agreed and I told him you were coming to Chennai on my request. Therefore if my son agreed to the proposal the expenses would be borne by you and if he rejected the proposal, I would bear the cost. I thought this was fair enough. They came on the day when my son had planned to visit for his friend's wedding at Chennai. The girl and the boy met and decided to marry each other.

On 21st Aug 2008, when my son was 28, I conducted his wedding, My daughter-in-law's name is Akilandeswari alias Anuradha. I have written an article about her in my blog under the caption "ANOTHER INDRA GANDHI IN THE MAKING" Before his wedding, I told him that I could only get alliances for him and he had to select the girl suitable for him. In those days parents selected the girl for us. Now it was different. There are rich/poor, beautiful/average, educated/ uneducated, working/not working, city/ rural  girls. You will have to select. And he selected his girl. They have good understanding. They have given me a granddaughter in 2009. In this connection I have written an article under the caption "OUR GRANDDAUGHTER IS NAMED AFTER HER " Both my son-in-law and daughter-in-law are very calm and pious in nature. They never get agitated. They go along with their spouses very well. It is God's blessing. I have my own way of conducting the wedding. I do it in a planned way. I see that about 70% of the expenses are gifts given to my close people. I have lot of goodwill among my siblings. I have written an article under the title "HOW TO CONDUCT A WEDDING ?"

My daughter side sambandhi is Mr.Visweswaran. His son's star is Swathi. His daughter's star is Magam. His son-in-law's star is Swathi His daughter side sambandhi's name is Mr.Hariharan. My son's star is Swathi. My daughter's star is Magam. My son-in-law's star is Swathi. My son's side sambandhi's name is MrHariharan. Both myself and my son in law's mother studied in the same school at Periakulam when we were ten. My son in law and my daughter studied in the same school at Anna Nagar. What a coincidence!!!

When my son was married in 2008, I was 63 and my wife was 60, more than our retirement age. However, we did not want to settle with our son. When my father wanted to settle with his sons in 1982, he was 66 and my mother was 57. So I decided to allow my son the freedom for some more time so that he could enjoy the life. Though they had been calling us to join with them we kept it pending. We made visits every two months. We thought it was too early to settle with the son losing our independence. In 2013, we visited the US for 6 months. We enjoyed the trip to our maximum. We saw many places. To be with our grandchildren was wonderful. We also visited California and stayed with my sister's daughter. We made the second visit  in 2015 for 6 months. It was not as great as the first one since we had seen all the places before. My daughter met all the expenses for both the trips.

I have my house at Chennai. My son is employed in Hyderabad. He is not willing to come to Chennai. We have to come to his place to live with him. But what to do with my house?. I have my own sentimental attachment toward my house. It is like a son to me. In my difficult days it had helped me like a son. If I was away from my house even on office duty, I rushed back to be in my house. Even now when I stay away from my house I get dreams and I want to visit my house. It has become a part and parcel of my life. I think this feeling may not be there in the case of a house or flat purchased. Like rearing a child, I had constructed it brick after brick. The troubles I had undergone to see it grew could not be explained in words. I do not know what to do. I now feel why I have constructed a house at all.

Now I am 71 and my wife is 68. We are no longer be able to live independently. It is said that poverty in young age is  unbearable. Similarly loneliness in old age is also unbearable. We can no longer be alone. Loneliness kills. Though mind is willing body is not cooperating as before. We are unable to move out of the house. To remain idle and alone inside the house is a punishment. It is better to be with the grandchildren. But we cannot go to US every now and then. The only place now available for us to stay is our son's house. I thought it would be better if I had more children like my father. After our return from the US in Dec 2015, we decided to stay with our son permanently. We have been staying with them for the last 5 months. They are looking after us with all love and affection. There is no doubt about it. Our granddaughter is a gem. She loves us more than my children. To be away from her is too difficult.

I have written my will. All people who have property should write a will. It is only to identify the legal heirs. Among them the wife is the most important. She has suffered the entire life with you. She is the best companion in life. She cannot be equaled with others. She is always a special person. She must get the first and full inheritance. Only after her, it should go to the children. If this is not made clear in the will, she will be considered equal to the children and will get only equal share. This is not a fair treatment for a special person. In my will, I have apportioned the house, jewels and the money equally and fairly. Though my children are good in nature and though they will not fight with each other for my property, I have written the will as it is my duty. I have also covered Insurance for medical expenses for myself and my wife. It is under the AROGYADAAN scheme of Andra Bank and United India Insurance Co. I started it in 2004 for 3 lakhs. Now I have increased it to 8 lakhs since then. Both of us are eligible to claim up to 8 lacs during a year. So far I have not claimed anything.

I am keeping my fingers crossed. On one side my house is there. On the other side my physical inability to live in the house alone is there. To live with my son I have to be away from my house. I compromised to sell the house and buy a new one at Hyderabad. But the society has gone on the wrong side. There is corruption and black money everywhere. Both at the selling point at Chennai and at the buying point at Hyderabad I may have to deal with huge black money. Having lived my life so far following the golden words of my principled father, I do not want to lose my peace of mind for the sake of unethical income at this old age. If I want to reconstruct, nobody is going to live and enjoy my property as it can be only rented out to others. You don't get the satisfaction of having lived in your father's house.

Over the years I have lost 90% of my hearing capacity. I am unable to hear anything clearly if I talk over the telephone. I am unable to hear properly even with hearing aid. So I can either read or write only. I cannot enjoy TV and other things. Is deafness a curse? People discriminate between the blind, the lame and the deaf. Their sufferings are the same. It is evident in the case of a blind and lame but not in the case of a deaf. You do not know how much a deaf suffers. The sound of a car, the barking of a dog, the crying of a baby, the whistling of the wind,  the music on the TV, he can hear nothing. For him everywhere there is SILENCE. The pity is nobody to sympathize with him. When a dog barks, the normal is able to see the dog, hears the barking, and feels its ferocity. It is LIVE for him. When a deaf sees the same scene, he can only see the dog but does not hear the barking nor feels its ferocity. It is DEAD for him. Have some sympathy on them.

I made three grave mistakes in my life. I am able to judge, assess and criticize myself. To that extent, I have grown mentally. At first, I should have studied 3-year Diploma as per my father's wish and also did AMIE subsequently fulfilling my father's desire that I should be an engineer. If I had done that, I would have been a different person now. I disappointed him.  Secondly, I should have constructed the first floor in my house with a part of the money that my father-in-law gave my wife. I might be getting about 20000 per month as rent. Thirdly I should not have left DCW which was due to my ego. If I had accepted their offer and continued there, life would have different with rental incomes from the two floors of my house. What to do? That was madness. I cannot call it a fate which comes accidentally and not deliberately. Even now, when I am alone and my mind keeps wandering, I brood over these mistakes and suddenly tears roll down my eyes.

I am a very contended man. I do not have wild desires. All my needs are simple.  I have a passion for writing. I have a blog in which I scribble something that occurs to my mind. It is mostly small incidents in my life. I like reading books. I need at least 2 books a month. In my younger days I was reading Tamil magazines. Slowly I lost interest in them. Then I turned to Tamil novels. After sometime I got bored with it. It may be due to poor quality of writing or better standard in my reading. Then I started reading English novels. I like to hear carnatic music or melodious film music. I like to travel but body is not cooperating now. I like to visit my relatives and friends. But they are busy and have their own problems. I need a small room with minimum facility and privacy, simple dress, simple food and peace of mind. The last one is most difficult to get.

Now, I am more interested in reading spiritual books. Bhagavad Gita is divided into three parts as Karma Yoga, Gnana Yoga and Bakthi Yoga. It is in that order. In other words, it represents life. Assuming a person lives an average life of 70 years, he spends the first 50 years in doing his duty or Karma for which he is born. The next 10 years he spends reading  various spiritual books [written original] and enhances his knowledge about the Lord, life and death. The rest of his life he practises renunciation and develop Bhakthi towards the Lord. By renunciation you become desire less and concentrate all the time on the Lord by meditation and Yoga. A person who successfully attains this stage is speechless. He does not get anger, taste, dress sense, sex, likes and dislikes, hatred, pain or pleasure. He becomes devoted to God always. Such a stage is called spiritually enlightened. Everyone must try to attain this state which is called bliss. 

Mostly I am Idle. I have no work. People do not give me work, do not talk to me, because I cannot hear. I want to talk, I want to listen but they are not prepared. I am fed up up with reading and writing. Everything looks already read. I cannot go out for the fear of getting infected or meeting with accident. What else I can do to spend the time. O' God, give me peace of mind. Do not torture me like this continuously. I have seen only sufferings in my life. Excepting rare occasions, my life is full of misery. Either a misfortune or a worry or a problem is always awaiting for me in the corner of the street. I am in the last stages of mt life. At least allow me to have peace of mind till I breath my last. Worries are mounting every day and I am unable to withstand  at this age.. People have different life styles. The old life style based on values has already gone. People have become greedy. Corruption, black money, violence, lawlessness are the order of the day. It is unfit for people like me to live here. Please take me away with you. I can no longer live in this world.  Your Lotus Feet are the only place where I can find solace and peace. Please take me at the earliest for which I shall be ever grateful to you My Lord.

                                                                   =CONCLUDED=

MY BIOGRAPHY--PART 2-- IN PURSUIT OF PROSPERITY

PART 2: [ NEXT 26 YEARS FROM 1966 TO 1992]

My father might have had his justification in asking me to do 3 year course instead of spending 5 years to get a BE so that I could shoulder some of his responsibilities. At that time I took a wow, if I got a job, I would help my father to my maximum. In those days Managers of commercial banks had the power to appoint people. My father contacted a manager of a leading bank to get me a job. The manager agreed but he demanded a favor in return. Being a man of principles, my father did not agree. I was very short tempered in those days like my father. 

With my father's help, I got a job in S.Venkataraman & co, civil engineering contractors, in Small Arms Project, Tiruchy. Their office was in Thillai Nager and I was going to office in my father's cycle. One day, since I did not do a favor to him, the peon, punctured my cycle which I came to know through another source. I picked up a quarrel with him and warned him not to touch my father's cycle. On the next day, the chief engineer Mr Ranganatha Char, questioned me supporting the peon. I told him not to interfere in matters not connected with him and to mind his business. The next day, I left the job. My father was not happy in the way I dealt with the situation.

By God's grace on the next day, I received an allotment letter from Employment Exchange appointing me on temporary basis as Junior Inspector of cooperative societies in the Sub Registrar's office in Pudukottai. The salary was 300 pm. I got employment in the co-operative dept. of the Madras state Govt on a temporary basis as Junior Inspector of Coop Societies. The posting was at Pudukottai near Tiruchy. My uncle, father's elder brother, was living there with his family. He was a humble and pious man and he liked my father and me very much. He used to stay with us many times. His only daughter, my cousin sister, was of my age and we were close. We were studying in the same class in school and we used to vie with each other in getting more marks. 

When I was about to leave, my father told me not to stay in his brother's house but to take up a room. He also told me to visit his brother and to seek their blessings. The salary was 300 pm. The room rent was 20 pm shared by two and the food was 50/ pm covering morning breakfast, lunch and dinner. I could easily save 200 pm and I was happy. I got the first month's salary and I wanted to give it to my mother in person. As it was only an hour's bus journey, I came to our house in Srirangam. O'My God, The cash was gone. Somebody had picked my pocket. I lost my first salary. I worked there for few months and I was sent home.

Later, he had helped his brother in getting his daughter married and also presented her with diamond ear and nose studs. After 15 years in 1981, due to old age, his brother wanted to settle with his daughter in Nagpur. My father sent them to me at Madras and asked me to keep them for a week and to send them to Nagpur and also to give them some money. I sent them by sleeper in Ganga Kaveri express and gave him Rs. 300/ for pocket expenses with food and water for the journey. My father was happy. I really wonder about my father, who was very close and also fond of his elder brother, asked me not to stay with them but to help them when they were in need. He used to advise me not to receive anything from anybody but only to give. In other words, my palm should always be downward [giving] and not upward [receiving]. 

I was again idle at home posting applications. Once again my father was not happy. I cursed my fate. Life was boring. Without any responsibility, I was roaming the streets. Then I decided, it was time for me to go to Chennai where I could get better opportunities. There was no packing for me and I took just a pant and a shirt, a banian and underwear, a towel, a shoe and socks and a tie and Rs 50/ in my pocket. I did not even had an address to stay there. With great frustration and without any enthusiasm, I commenced my journey in a lorry paying 3/. I wowed not to return home without getting a job and settled in Chennai. 

On a warm sunny morning in June 1967, when I was 22, I landed at Madras.  I just had a pant, a shirt, a set of inner wear, a towel, a shoe and socks, a tie and Rs 50/. At first, I was bewildered at the look of the city. I was jobless and I had come to the city in search of prosperity. My father was a Govt. servant and he was supporting a family of 14 including my parents, 3 grandparents and nine children. My last brother was just three then.

I did not even had a place to stay. I did not know where to go. I went to Triplicane where my grandfather had some relatives. I knocked at their doors and introduced myself. But they were not ready to give me accommodation. From there, I went to T.Nagar, where my elder brother had a colleague by name Sankara Narayanan. He was also unable to offer me some space sighting family reasons. I started understanding people and the world. 

I stayed in the Mambalam railway station for a day at the courtesy of the station master. On his advice, I took up a room in the nearby Railway border road  for 20/ pm to be shared with 2, with common bath and toilet. I started searching for jobs from there. I moved out in the morning at 8 AM and I went around the city, mostly on foot, entering each and every office requesting for job. I earmarked an area for the day and covered it in one day. 

I could not afford to have meals thrice a day as the cash was dwindling. Already, I had purchased a pillow and lunghi. I had to keep a balance of Rs.6 for the return journey to Tiruchy.  Everyday, when the meals section was opened at 7 PM, I was the first to enter the hotel. It was unlimited meal for Re.1/. I took to my full stomach, up to the neck, so that I could manage till the next day at 7 PM. 

At first,  I got a job in an Auditors office in Gopalapuram as Article clerk. The salary was 70/ PM. I could have managed with that money and prepared for C.A. But I had to wait for a month to get the salary and I won't be able to send anything to my parents. I worked there for few days but I could not continue. With the cash balance coming down, fear for the future life engulfed my mind leading to sleepless nights. 

I was desperately in need of a job. I could not face the ignominy of going back to Tiruchy jobless. One day, after dinner at 7 PM, while I was walking along the Usman Road, I saw a textile shop. I went in and met the proprietor Mr. Harikrishnan and requested him for a job. He was a kind man and he had named the shop after his daughter who was about 7. He was a north Indian. He was impressed and appointed me as an accountant. 


I should also look after sales. The timing was 10 to 1 and 4 to 9. The salary was 300/ PM. Tea in the morning and evening was provided. Knowing my condition, he gave me some advance. From that month onward, I started sending 100 or 125 PM to my father till 1982 when he asked me to stop. Working in a textile shop was only a temporary footing to augment my financial needs. I worked there for few months. I should get a decent job in a big company. 

During the lunch time of 3 hours, I continued my search. I also sent applications through the post. God should have mercy on me. I also sent applications through the post. One day, there was a surprise visitor. A leading cine actress, visited the shop to buy pant lengths for her son. At that time, I was in the sales counter and I showed her some costly pieces. I talked to her in Queen's English and also demonstrated by folding the cloth like that of a pant to impress upon her. Even now, when I walked along that road, I get fond memories of the past.

She appreciated my salesmanship and gave me her visiting card and asked me to meet her in her house on the next day. When I went there, she offered me her manager's post on the same salary I was given in the textile shop plus food and accommodation. I left the textile shop and jointed her on the next day. However, I stayed out in a room to have my privacy. She agreed to pay the room rent of Rs.20/pm. I shifted from railway border road to Nathamuni street in GN Chetty Road. It was an independent room. 

There was no fixed working hours. That was why she asked me to stay in her house. I had to go at 7 AM and be with her till she relieved me. Normally it was up to 7 PM. I was given an office room. I had to attend to all her works including accompanying her to the studios. Food was excellent. I had developed contacts with all actors, directors and producers. I was given a Fiat for my work and the Plymouth was for her. If I had continued with her, I would have been a different person now. She had huge collection of books. I had the opportunity to read Perry Mason, Earl Stanley Gardner, Agatha Christie etc.

She was fair and beautiful, homely in looks. She was very popular and she had acted with leading heroes. She was very strict. She could not tolerate indiscipline. She won't hesitate to reprimand anyone for any mistake. She was authoritative and the whole industry feared her. She had two daughters and a son. They were well educated. They never discussed about mother's profession. I developed the habit of wearing white pant and white shirt since she appreciated it one day. I also stitched few white pants and shirts. This dress, with black belt and shoes became my regular attire.


Her sister also was an actress. She was a Telugu but she knew 6 languages. Her English was of high standard. She was propertied in Chennai as well as Hyderabad. When you travel in a car with her, you should sit only in the front. When you talk, you should look straight and should not turn your head to look at the back seat. She was a terror but she was also a good human being willing to help the poor. However, I did not wish to continue there. Tinsel world looked green only from a distance. I was looking for better prospects during my spare time.

I happened to go to P.Orr & Sons, in Mount road one day on office duty. It belonged to the Karumuthu Thiagaraja Chettiar Group. They were the pioneers in watches and scientific precision instruments. They also sold high end watches like Rolex etc. Their watch repair division was a huge one. They were famous for clocks and tower clocks in those days. I met the MD, Mr. Chokkalingam and requested him for a job. He asked me to give an application. By that time, I had become good at writing applications.. He appointed me in the Accounts dept. I left the job with the actress and joined the new firm on the next day. The salary was same at 300/ PM. The working hours were 9 to 5. I met my best friend Mr. Venkatramani there, for the first time, who is even now my friend for 49 years. I worked there for one year.

Now , from one meal a day, I switched over to the routine breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had meals for Re.1/ at Geetha cafe and breakfast for 75 ps at Shantha Bhavan, Pondy basaar. The owner Mr Deju Shetty was my friend. Celebrities used to come to the hotel during the night. From Ranganathan street, I switched over to Nathamuni street for an  independent room for 20/ PM. It was attached to a family. It was nearby Vani Mahal where the now famous SPB used to sing Kishore Kumar songs for Rs2/. Cine dance director Mr Thangappan was staying in my street. The now famous Kamal Haasan used to sit in front yard and we discussed cinema with director Sakthi.

Basically, I was a family man. With six brothers and three sisters, I longed for my family and cried during lonely sleepless nights. I was alone, all alone and was fed up with hotel meals. I longed for home food. Having got into a good job, I wanted to see my people. I went to Srirangam one day by Rockfort express. My sisters and brothers who were praying for my well being were very happy to see me in good shape. I spent the weekend and returned on Monday morning. Every now and then, I made frequent visits to see my dear ones. I used to tell them stories of the English movies I had seen. I got them sarees as my gifts. One sister even now is having a saree. In my free time, I used to go to Venkatramani's house for family atmosphere.

He was staying with his parents. They were from Kumbakonam. His father was retired and was getting some pension. He had two sisters and two brothers. One sister was married. Being the eldest, he had the responsibility of looking after them. At night 9 PM, we used to walk to the Panagal park to talk. He was coming to office by cycle. He wowed one day that he would drive around the Panagal park in cream color Fiat car wearing a silk jibba and keeping his one hand on the window. Later when the dream came true after many years with a Maruthi 800 instead of a Fiat, I was the first to be informed. 

In 1968, I happened to go to Binny & co. ltd on office duty. I met Mr. Radhakrishnan, the personal manager. I requested him to help me in getting into Binnys which was big and famous then. As usual, he asked me to give an application. I got the paper from him and gave the application there itself. He was happy and promised to do the needful. After a week, I got an interview letter to meet Mr. Captain the sales manager. I was appointed in the Export sales dept. The salary was same at 300 PM. The working hours were 9 to 5. I worked there for 17 years from 1968 to 1984. The only notable thing in Binnys was, I had rectified wrong utilization of Forward Exchange contracts after consultations with  SBI that saved the company Rs 50,000 PM as extension charges.

Ramani was such a good man and a good friend. Our friendship developed. To go up in life, he married a working girl so that he got double income. In my family, working girls were not considered. So, to have a good backing, I wanted to marry a girl from a well to do family without looking for beauty, though I had dreams of marrying a girl like actress Padmini. I have written an article under the caption "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT " about my experience in seeing my wife for the first time. With my Parent's and God's blessings, I married  Geetha on 3rd Feb 1974 when I was 29 and my salary was 500/ PM. I have written two articles under the titles "KANNAN WEDGEETHA and "GOD'S WONDERFUL GIFT TO ME". My father-in-law was a well to do person in Srirangam. From the bachelor life at T.nagar, I moved into Triplicane to save on rent. I paid 100/ towards rent. I was going to office by cycle. I have written an article under the caption "REMINISCENCES OF MY NEWLY MARRIED LIFE". Life was going smooth and pleasant till misfortune struck me again. I lost my first child, a son, within few days of his birth due to respiratory problems. iI have written an article under the caption "THE SCAR THAT WILL NEVER FADE". Then my next brother joined me. Since the accommodation was not sufficient for 3, we moved back to T.nagar again. We never missed to celebrate our wedding day. How we celebrated our first wedding day was written in article under the title "A DAY FOR CELEBRATION"
My daughter was born in 1976 and life was going smooth again. To express my feeling of happiness at the time of her birth, I have written an article under the title "ONLY THE CHILD MAKES THE PARENT ". When she was a child, to make her sleep, I used to sing a song. How that song was used for other children in the family was expressed in the article " OUR FAMILY SONG"

In Binnys, Kotiswaran was my best friend. Contrary to his name, he was not a well to do person. On a salary day he came to my seat and asked me a loan of Rs.200/. I was surprised because it was the salary day. I was getting 800/ pm and he was getting 1200/ pm. He said every month he took loans and returned on the salary day with interest. His loan amount was 1200. I made him an offer. I would give him a loan of 1200 to clear all his loans. He could return to me at 100 pm without any interest in one year. He agreed and thus we became friends. Before giving the loan to him, I asked my father. He said, "if you love the money, forget the friend. If you love the friend, forget the money". What a golden word!!! I have written an article under the caption "YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THIS IN LIFE". We used to come to office by cycle. He was from Ashok nagar and I was from T.nagar. We met at Sterling road, and proceeded to our office in Perambur. I have written an article about our friendship under the caption "HIS TEA CUP WAS FULL OF BLOOD".

My father retired in 1976. At that time his salary was 600 PM. My brothers and sisters completed their education one after the other. My brothers got into good jobs and supported our father to their maximum. My father in turn got them married one after one and they settled in their life excepting the last two brothers who were then studying. My grandparents died one after one. In 1982 when my last brother finished his education, my parents vacated the house at Srirangam and decided to settle with the children.

By then, I had moved to Anna Nagar in 1978 after the wedding of my brother. With the help of Mr. Chakravarthy, Secretary in Tamil Nadu Housing Board, I purchased one ground plot in Anna nagar by taking a loan from office coop society. Then I took a housing loan in OYHS scheme from LIC and constructed a small house in 1980, when my son was born. My father had a dream of constructing his own house but he could not do so due to family situations. I wanted to fulfill his dream. Though I financed the project, he was the architect and everything was done as per his wish. My father was so happy. He used to advise me often to improve my English language. In this connection I have written an article under the caption "IN HIS FOOTSTEPS"

By end 1983, due to heavy rains and flood, Binny mills were heavily damaged affecting raw materials, finished goods and machinery. The company declared compulsory leave for 15 days. Fearing loss of employment, I started applying for jobs once again. I went to Bombay to try my luck through my brother-in-law. I have written an article under the title "TRAVEL MAKES A MAN" In 1984, I attended an interview with DCW Ltd near Tuticorin. I was successful, and was appointed as Commercial Officer. The job was looking after purchases. I was given 1500 PM, with accommodation and vehicle allowance. My wife was initially not willing to come to village. But I joined and admitted my children in their school. I rented out my house at Chennai for Rs.500 PM which was an additional  income. Though the job was tedious, I worked there for 8 years from 1984 to 1992.

In Jan 1985, tragedy struck again. My father with 90% blockage in his heart vessels died of cardiac arrest. He was in Apollo hospitals, Chennai when he breathed his last. On hearing the news that he was admitted in the hospital, I came rushing down from Tuticorin with my family to see him. I was happy that I helped him financially to my maximum. I constructed a house to fulfill his dream. I never disobeyed him. To make him happy, I left all bad friends and bad habits. I loved him in spite of his plus and minus. I was able to see him and say a few last words. I told him, I was very SORRY for not listening to his words when he admitted me in diploma and for what I had done during last the six years in college. I prayed to pardon me. 

He squeezed my hands and said "don't worry, I missed you". And he was gone. He was no more. He could never talk to me again. He could never be with us. A journey that started in 1916, had come to an end after 68 glorious years. He was not going to come back again. I lost a great man who lived on principles.  No one could lead a life like my father. All the brothers and sisters did his funeral unitedly. My mother is alive. All his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are in very good condition.  But he was not there to enjoy the fruit. It was because of his showing us the right path that we could follow and succeed. He longed for my success but he was not there to share. I have written an article in my blog under the caption "ON THE CENTENARY OF MY FATHER".

The management took great interest in religious activities also. There was a beautiful Vinayakar temple, an auditorium, recreation club and a guest house within the premises. Eminent personalities were regularly invited to give lectures on various subjects. His Holiness Shri Bheerth Swamigal, Sankaracharya of Shri Sringeri Mutt was once invited to give lecture. The program was scheduled to start at 6 PM in the auditorium. All people assembled on time. As per custom, men, while vising a temple or a religious head, were not supposed to wear a dress above their waist.

The swami's voice was reverberating in the hall. After the prayer he said, " for those who are performing their duties without like or dislike, those who are making their parents happy, those who are helping the poor to their might, and those who are worshiping God daily, I have nothing to preach. They are already fulfilling the purpose for which they are born". I remembered, my father also told me the very same words when I was young. I have been trying to practice these principles in my life for a very long time. I was wondering how my father was able to give a similar advice like that of the great saint. In this connection, I have written an article "the teachings of a sait"

During my sojourn at DCW, one day my father-in-law came to my house in his car from Srirangam. I was surprised because he never went out like that . We welcomed him and after the night's dinner, he gave me a cover containing Rs.50,000/ which was a huge amount in those days. I was surprised and shocked. He told me that he had sold a part of his lands and out of the proceeds he wanted to give a share to his three daughters and my wife's share came to 4 lakhs. He requested me to come to Srirangam so that the money could be deposited in banks in our joint names. It was a blessing in disguise. I never expected this. I didn't know what to do with the money?. I could then understood one thing. People long for money, but when it came they do not know what to do with that money.

In DCW, I was working to my maximum. There were two  instances to be shared with you . The first one was, DCW floated a tender for purchase of a boiler. Voltas quoted the lowest at 10 lakhs. While issuing the purchase order, I suggested to my boss that we could include a penalty clause for delay in delivery. He reluctantly agreed since it was for the first time. However, the delivery of the boiler was delayed and we deducted about one lakh as penalty. My boss was happy. In another instance, DCW were importing Thymol at a landed cost of Rs.1200 per kg. I was able to locate a local manufacturer who could supply at Rs.200 per kg, thus saving the co. Rs.50,000 on 50 kgs per month plus inventory etc. I also wish to mention here that we gave training for our daughter in Bharata Natyam during our stay at DCW, Her guru was an efficient lady and my daughter also came up to arangetram level. I have written an article under the caption "IT TOOK US THREE GENERATIONS "on this episode.

In 1992, I was looking for better prospects. I attended an interview with Hartex Rubber Ltd a cycle Tyre and tube manufacturing company in Hyderabad. I was selected and appointed as Export Manager on a salary of 4000 PM plus accommodation, and car allowance. I accepted the offer and resigned my job from DCW. They gave me a counter offer matching Hartex, which I did not accept. Myself and my wife decided to leave DCW and to go to Hyderabad. I packed and sent all household items to Hyderabad. My daughter was in 11th std and the son in 7th std. At that time, God only knew what was written on my forehead and what was going to happen at Hyderabad.

Since my daughter was on 11th std, I wanted to admit her in Chennai and leave her under the care of my brother. I went to Chennai to discuss the matter with my brother and to admit her in a school at Anna Nagar so that it was easy for her to go to school. After my brother agreed, I went to Anna Adarsh school for women and met the principal Ms. Bhat. The school was run by Punjab Assn. and I took a letter from Mr. Dhavan, Secretary  of the Assn. whom I knew. Ms. Bhat was surprised to see me asking for admission in 11th std in Feb when the school was about to be closed for annual exams. She refused to give admission and also informed Mr.Dhavan over phone about her inability.

I came out disappointed. In the afternoon, I went to Mount road on some work and unexpectedly, met Mr.Kotiswaran on the road. After formal inquiries, I informed him the reason for my coming to Chennai and the problem I was facing in the admission of my daughter. He then asked me to meet him in his house the next day morning. I went there early morning and he took me to another house. There we met a lady and Koti informed her about me and my problem. She gave instructions to Ms.Bhat in her visiting card directing her to admit my daughter. She was Ms. Chandralekha, the Director of Public Instruction for schools. On the next day, I admitted my daughter and left for Tuticorin. I have written an article under the caption "GOD CAME IN PERSON TO HELP ME !!!",

From there we went to Hyderabad. The office was in Ameerpet. On the next day I joined duty. Mr. Surana, the MD ,was very kind and friendly. He told me openly that I should take over the dept. as early as possible since the present manager was not in the good books of the management. I understood the situation and agreed to do so. I took over the job and started liaison with the staff numbering about ten.  To my surprise, every one was talking in Telugu which I did not know. When I asked them the reason, they said that they did not know good English and they would prefer to talk only in Telugu. I was shocked over this development and did not know what to do. How it did not come to my mind, was another thing. What I was going to do when my staff talk to me in a language that I did not know. I thought that this might even be the plan of the manager. The next day, I explained the matter to Mr.Surana but he was helpless and he could not force the staff. Tragedy struck me again.

On hearing the news my wife was speechless. She was spellbound and shocked. We did not know what to do do. We were in the middle of the road in Ameerpet crying. Fear of the future engulfed me like wild waves. It was much more than what it was in 1966. How I am going to manage the situation with two children in school?. I was only 47 and I had another 13 years of service. I was not a professional who could  get a job anytime anywhere I liked. For a graduate only the experience counted and once left his job then he became a waste paper. I have written an article under the caption"WE LEARN FROM OTHER'S EXPERIENCE". I thought about my father and his advice to do 3 year diploma. If I had done AMIE also, I would have become an engineer. My life would have been different. How prophetic he was!!!  O'God, why you are torturing me like this? What sin I had committed? What wrong I have done to others? Why misfortune strike me continuously.  You gave me some prosperity, why can't you give me peace of mind?. Where is PEACE? I started searching for PEACE.

We shall continue in Part 3.

MY BIOGRAPHY---PART 1---IN PURSUIT OF EDUCATION

Hi friends,

"The best way to write an autobiography is to treat your life as an interesting story. Starting from birth enhance the story's appeal as you take the reader through the different stages of your life. Both biography and autobiography tell the story of an individual person's life."

The quality of the pudding is in the eating. The quality of life is in the living. Biography should be an inspiration to do good or a warning not to do bad. This  is simply a narration of my life and I do not intend hurting anybody by mentioning about unhappy incidents in my life. I confirm that whatever mentioned here are only the truth and nothing but the truth. I am writing this in June 2016. I am 71, and I thought I should  write my biography before it is too late. Though I am an ordinary person, I write this for my close people to know about me and about the trials and tribulations in my life.

INTRODUCTION:
I was born on 19th April 1945 in Valady village in Tiruchy  district. The corresponding Tamil year/month was Parthiba/chithirai and my birth star was Punarvasu. My father is Mr.T.S.Narayanaswamy and my mother is Ms.Rajalakshmi. My father belongs to Thinniyam village near Lalgudi and mother belongs to Valady. 

I was christened Krishnamurthy and called Kannan as I was mischievous. We are six brothers and three sisters. I remember about my life only after I was 5. When my father admitted me in school, he had given my date of birth as 10th Jan. Hence I have two dates of birth, one official and one real.

PART- 1: FIRST 21 YEARS FROM 1945 TO 1966.

When I reached the age of 5, I was admitted by my grandfather in a local school in our village in 1st standard. The school was from 9 AM to 12 noon. I went to the school with a slate made of thin cuddappah stone and a chalk pencil. There were no note-books, books, lead pencil,  pen, eraser, water bottle, shoe/socks, uniform,  tiffin-box etc. There were only 3 subjects, English, Tamil and Maths. The teacher would write English/Tamil alphabets and numbers on the blackboard, which I had to re-write on my slate. He would then put a tick mark which I showed  to my grandparents. They appreciated me sky high and told their neighbours how intelligent I was then. I had lot of time in the evening to play. We had two cows in our house. The Konar came in the evening to milk the cows. My grandmother would give me a large tumbler of fresh milk. Since there was no electricity, we used only kerosene lamps in the night. 

After the dinner, I  sat on the lap of my grandparents on the front yard under the moon light in a cot made of coir rope. There was no mosquitoes then. My grandparents told me stories from Mahabharata, and Ramayana. My grandfather taught me Maths and Tamil. It was always oral and memorizing type. First, he taught  Numbers from 1 to 100. Then, Tables from one to ten. I had to repeat what he told me. He would ask me to repeat it everyday. From 1  Table, he would move on till we reached 10. He also taught me 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/16 tables.Then, he would take up Tamil. He would start with 7 days of the week, 12 English months, 12 Tamil months with its corresponding Sanskrit equivalent, [eg. chithirai-mesham], and the 60 years, the 27 stars in Sanskrit. This coaching was about an hour everyday. While repeating what he said, slowly I fell into sleep on their lap. Then they would put me on to the pillow and covered me with a blanket.I have written an article in my blog about this in my blog under the caption 

​ "WHAT THIS GENERATION MISSED ?

In 1951, When I was 6, I was in Manimuthar Dam in Tirunelveli district. My father was working as Head Draftsman in P.W.D in the construction of the dam. It was constructed on the river Manimuthar. The water in the river was very tasty and it was supposed to be the best in Tamil Nadu. I was then studying in 2nd std in Thilak Vidyalaya High School in Kallidaikurichi nearby. Everyday we went to school in a van provided by the project. My father was given a separate house and I remember the hills behind my house. During nights wild animals roamed in the area and took away domestic pets. It was not safe to go out during the night. I still remember a 15 feet python crossing the road around sunset when one of the passersby fired twice at it with his gun and killed it. Vasumathi, the daughter of an engineer, was my best girl friend. We used to play together. She was fair and beautiful. I missed her for a long time after leaving the place.

Since my father was on transferable job, after an year in 1952, we next came to Periakulam in Madurai district at the commencement of the construction of the Vaigai dam. It was constructed on the river Vaigai. I was studying in Victoria Memorial Board High School or V.M.B.H.S. Opposite to our house was the Hindi Prachar Sabha where I did Prathmic in the evening. Periakulam was separated by a river into North bank and south bank. Incidentally, I came to know later in my life that my son-in-law's mother was from Periakulam.

I was 7 then and my next brother was 4 and my first sister was 2 and 2nd sister was about 1. My elder brother who was 11 was staying with our grandparents at Valady. At that time, the movie "Haridas" which ran for more than two years was shown in Jaya theatre. Along with my brother, I went to see the movie taking 8 annas for two tickets. We lost the money on the way and returned home disappointed. My mother gave another 8 annas to see the movie. In one scene, due to a curse by a sage, Haridas's legs got separated at knee level and both fly to a distant place making him a lame man. That scene was long in my memory.

One day, my one year old sister who was playing in the front yard was missing. We searched for her in many places and it was difficult to identify her as Mottai was done to her at that time. Finally, I could get her from an old Muslim who was holding the baby and was searching for its parents. In our later years, whenever all our brothers and sisters got together, we used to make fun of her saying that she might be a Muslim. It was here, I went to a hotel for the first time with my father. He got me a dosai for 4 annas which was so big and I could eat only half of it.

I remember a freak incident that happened on Deepavali day. My parents with other children had gone to our maternal grandparent's house, leaving me with my paternal grandmother as escort. They had given me Rs.7/ for purchase of crackers. Dresses were already bought. My grandmother told me not to waste the money on crackers which would become charcoal ultimately and advised me to give it to her and she would preserve it for me. I ignored her advice and purchased "Donkey" crackers, famous at that time, for the entire sum. To ensure that none of the crackers failed, we kept it on top of the mud oven in the kitchen after the night work was over. 

At around 2 AM in the night, there was a loud explosion and my grandmother woke me up saying Deepavali had dawned and advised me to take oil bath. Suddenly, there was another loud explosion from the kitchen and we could not go near. We then remembered that we forgot to remove the crackers from the oven and in the heat all the crackers got fired up and exploded.  My grandmother was scolding me all the time. The entire kitchen was scattered with debris from the crackers, dislocated few vessels and spilled some food items. I was afraid of my father also. I did not have anything to enjoy for Deepavali and sitting in the front yard, I was pathetically looking at my friends next door.

Then, after one year in 1953, we went to Vaigai dam. My father was given an independent house with a bed room, hall, kitchen, dining, bath and service area.. As there was no school, we went to Andipatti, a nearby town, in the project van for our studies. The school was Board High School. I studied there for 3 or 4 years. The school prayer song was "Sangam muzhangum thiru Madurai".The standard of Tamil was very good in Madurai district. I met my best friends Srinivasan, Daniel Surendran, Vasudevan, Thangavelu, and Bose there. Gowri, the engineer's daughter, was my best girl friend. We used to sit together in the van and on her request, I wrote her name on all her books/notebooks since my handwriting was good. 

I was studying in 6th form in 1956 when I was 11.​ I was travelling to the school in a blue colour GMC van both in the morning and evening. One by name, Bose was also coming in the same van. His father was working as constable in the police dept. He was a senior, tall, stout and well built. He was arrogant because his father was a policemen. He never called me by my name but only by my caste name [ Iyer,ஐயரே ] and he belonged to a different community. This annoyed me very much. In spite of many requests, he never listened nor bothered. I was apprehensive whether other students would also start calling me like that.

One day, I complained to my father about him. Without understanding my feeling, he advised me not to move with him and to keep away from him. I told him that he was not my classmate nor my friend nor I moved with him. I also told him that in spite of my requests, he continued to call me by my caste and also about my apprehension that other students would follow suit. My father ignored my complaint. However, Bose never stopped calling me by caste. We again had an argument and he asserted that he would call me only like that and I could do whatever I might like to do. 

On that evening, after returning from school, I complained to my mother how much I was mentally disturbed and also wondered why father could not warn him. When my father returned home from office at 7 PM, on my behalf, my mother took up the matter with him during dinner. Then my father asked me where Bose's residence was and I told him the location. After dinner, my father washed his hands, put on his shirt, went out and returned after half an hour. I did not know what happened. On the next day, Bose cajoled me and started calling me by my name and not by my caste name.[ஐயரே] In this connection, I have written an article under the caption  I HAVE A NAME

I had visited Theni, Kambam, Bodi, Periakulam and other wonderful places. During holidays we used to go to KARADU where we inscribed our names on the rocks. We swam in the big KENI for hours. We ate KODUKKAPULI and walked all the way back to Vaigai Dam as there was no bus in that route. I still remember the OTHTHAI ADI PULIA MARAM on the way where strong winds collected fine sand on the road. I remember making my first solo journey from there to Valady when I was just 7.  I had written a detailed article about it in my blog  http:/thinkannote.blogspot.com  under the caption " IT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS JUST TEN"

Srinivasan was a good singer. He used to sing the school prayer song. By birth his left ankle was slightly twisted and was limping. Thangavelu belonged to the backward community and was very friendly. We all used to sit together for our lunch and shared it. I always took curd/sambar rice with vegetables, vasu always brought rava upma and Thangavelu brought Kambu Kali or koozhu, a broth like dish. Seenu was local boy and he went home for lunch. We had varieties everyday and we enjoyed our meal to our heart's content. With great difficulty, I located Seenu recently and visited his place in Madurai. He was a retired Head master with two children. His reception was not good and I did not like to resume the lost friendship.

There was Recreation club at the project and I used to play all games. I was an expert in carrom. Daniel Surendran was my best friend at the project. He was short, bulky, wheatish in complexion and jovial. We were always together. We used to pluck the seat cushion from the school van and made foot ball out of it. We ran a hand-written magazine in Tamil called "KALANJIYAM" and circulated to everyone. His parents were getting milk powder from the US, and whenever I went to their house his mother used to give me a large tumbler of milk. Such a wonderful and affectionate lady. Daniel was a great friend and even now I am searching for him. Can anyone locate him for me? When I went to his house, his mother used to clean the fish for cooking by rubbing it on stone to remove the fills. I would sit near her to observe it. She used to chide me for I was a vegetarian. My father used to take us to Periakulam to see movies and also to Kodaikanal. Whenever I was at home, I took coffee in a flask to my father's office at 3 PM . At that time, he used to translate to me the story of "TARZAN" that was published daily in the last page of The Indian Express. In this connection, I have written an article  MY DEAR FRIENDS, I MISS YOU

For some, the mother is important. For some, the wife is important. For some, both are important. Funny things happen in our life. We remember some and we forget most of them. An interesting incident happened in our family when I was ten and my father was 39. That showed the quality of my father. My father had lost his father when he was 11. He was brought up by his mother. She had six children of whom my father was the last. She was very strict, orthodox, tonsured her head after the death of her husband, wore only white saree, did pooja and japam daily. No one should touch her until she finished her daily rituals. So my father had lot of love, affection, respect and regard for his mother. To make her happy was one of his life ambitions. He never failed to do anything to make her happy. Taking this to her advantage, my grandmother used to complain about everyone in the family who did not obey her words and got punishment for them. 


My father never ate anything outside and when he returned home from office he was hungry as well as angry. The grandmother made her complaints immediately on his return from office so that the punishment was severe. One day my mother became the victim. When the grandmother complained about her, my father got furious, took a stick, held my mother at her wrist, pulled her inside the bedroom and started thrashing her. All the children were bewildered and cursed the grandmother. My mother was screaming inside. After sometime, both of them came out. My mother quietly went into the kitchen and my father threw the stick and sat on the sofa posing tired. At that time, my grandmother said, "Dey Nana, if you hit the pillow hard it would tear away. I know this trick. Your father had done this for me so many times. You can't fool me around". My father was both a devoted son as well as a loving husband.  I have written an article under the caption "MOTHER OR WIFE?

I studied upto 8th Form at Andipatti till 1958, when I was 13. In 1958, for 9th and 10th Form [SSLC] my father wanted me to study at Trichy where the standard was better. So I had to move to my grandparents place in Valady village where my elder brother was already studying.I was admitted in E.R.High School, Tiruchy which was one of best schools. There I suffered a lot to learn English.Andipatti was famous for Tamil and Trichy for English.Other students used to envy my proficiency in Tamil. But it was a pathetic experience in the case of English.I have written a separate article about how much I suffered to Learn English in my blog under the caption "LEARNING A LANGUAGE ". At the end of my 9th form, I remember the famous Srirangam Temple fire accident took place.

I remember an incident involving my elder brother. While we were playing, accidentally my brother's first toe nail hit me in my right eye and there was bleeding from the eye. On seeing the blood from my eye my brother started crying aloud. On hearing his cry, my grand parents came rushing. There was no eye doctor in the village. Fortunately, our family Konar [the man who milked our cows] came there and he suggested a medicine. He went home and brought a rooster. He made a small incision near its claw from where blood started oozing. He applied that blood into my eyes. The next day I was alright.

My grand mother had an younger sister living in North Uthara street at Srirangam. She was very fond of her sister. Her name was Valambal and we called her Chithi. Every now and then grandma would go to her sister's help. We also went with her. We used to play with her children Nagarajan, Krishna, Mahalingam and Pattu. My grandmother's father Sri. Mahalinga Jadavallabar died at that time when he was taking bath in coleroon river. It was a different story when her younger sister usurped all the jewels of their mother. My grandmother, heart broken, terminated the relationship once for all and the connection between the two families got cut off permanently. 

I used to travel by local train from Valady to Tiruchy town to go to the school and return. We were playing all types of games in the village. My elder brother was my saviour from stronger boys. My younger brother also joined us later and the three of us spent wonderful time with our grandparents. During harvest time we used to go to the fields to supervise harvesting till the produce was brought home and stored. Our grandparents provided us with all types of sweets and snacks, fresh cow's milk etc. I can never forget the love and affection our grandparents showered on us during that period of our life. Our mother was their only daughter and we enjoyed all their love and care. In later days, we reciprocated it by taking care of them till they breathed their last.

I passed the SSLC exam creditably in first class in April 1960. In those days not many people appeared for the exam. The pass percentage was also less. The results came only in the newspaper. The Tamil daily Dhina Thanthi brought special evening edition for the results. People were mad to get the paper. I was content to see the English paper on the next day.  I was not worried about my results. I got 360 [60%] as against the state first of 403[67%] My father was happy that I got good marks. That was the first and last occasion he lifted me on his shoulders. One of my friends, Ramani took Adv. English and Commerce in PUC. I wanted to take Adv.English and Economics which were considered to be the toughest. But my father had different ideas. In his life, he wanted to become an engineer but he could not succeed. Hence he wanted at least his sons to become engineers. After SSLC, we had to study one year PUC and then 4 years BE to become an engineer. In PUC, apart from English and Tamil, you had to take four subjects in Group 111, either for medicine or engg. Getting admission into BE/MBBS was very tough in those days. My elder brother was not successful. 

A three year diploma course in Engg, after SSLC, [LME, LEE, LCE]was very popular for getting jobs and my father wanted me to do that. And without my liking, he admitted me in Sheshasayee  Institute of Tech in Ariyamangalam which was in a remote place, away from the city.  Everyday, I had to walk a long distance to reach the institute and I had to carry the "T" square also. I did not know then that it was a high ranking Institute. Somehow, I did not like the course and the institute and slowly slipped in my standard. I guess now, my father wanted me to complete my studies and support the family as early as possible since another brother and sister had come into family making a total of  8 children. 

At a tender age of 15, I could not understand my father's problems and I was irresponsible.Due to disinterest, bad friends came along and my studies were ruined. I failed miserably in the 1st two years. By that time, my father was transferred to Tiruchy and on my pleading that I would study well, he gracefully admitted me in PUC in National college in 1962 and then in B.Com degree in St.Joseph's college in 1963. At this time, my last brother was born making the total to nine children. In those days family planning was considered unethical. I have written articles in my blog under the captions "A DAY TO REMEMBER" and "THE THRILL OF ADOLESCENCE"and"THE COURT AND ME" to describe some incidents during my college days.

As I was interested in joining the Indian Army, I took active interest in the NCC. The only notable event in the college was that I represented the NCC in the Republic Day Parade at New Delhi in 1966. I have written an article under the title"ON THIS DAY IN THAT YEAR 1966" For this, I was away from college during Nov65-Jan66 which affected my studies considerably. However, I came out successful in B.com in April 1966 when I was 21. I now regret to say that from the time I passed SSLC till the time I passed BCom, it was the most miserable period of my life. It was fate. From a boy good at studies, I became a bad boy. I got into bad friends, bad habits and got attracted  towards cinema. The notable friends were Raju, Gopal, Chandru, and Radha. We had pledged that we shall remain friends forever. But alas, their wives did not cooperate and our friendship came to an end abruptly after their marriage.

My father never gave pocket money. To meet my expenses on friends and cinema, I went for part-time job in the evening after college. Rev.Fr.Mathias, the Principal, gave me a recommendation letter which I am keeping even now. Later, after 34 years, this letter helped me to get admission for my son in Loyola college, Chennai in 1997. During summer vocations, I worked as book representative. I travelled the entire state and visited all the schools with sample books published by Agasthier Book Depot, Tiruchy. Had I listened to my father's words and studied the 3 year diploma course, as I was up to SSLC, my life would have been different and colourful. But you can't escape FATE. No one can change what God has written on the forehead. Even now, I consider it was the greatest mistake I had committed in my life.

The first 21 years were the most crucial period of one's life as it decided the future. I wasted six years completely. Tears rolled down my eyes. How was I going to face the future? Then, I stepped into the next phase of my life, job hunting. There was no scope of continuing education. I had no other option except to go for job. Unless you had good education, getting jobs was not so easy. No one would be ready to hire you. To get a job one must be good at English and should have an Engg degree or Masters. People used to say "apply apply but no reply." 

For people who were not successful in education, joining the Services was the another option. With my credentials in the NCC, I wanted to get into the Indian Army. I applied to the SSB for short service commission. I attended the tests and interview at Bangalore. I got both my palms wounded in the rope climbing test. After sometime, I got their telegram advising me about my selection and to report for medical test. At that time, my parents were not willing to permit me to join the Army.

So, I was going on posting applications with no reply. I became frustrated in life. I became one of the unemployed thousands. I did not know what to do. I was keeping my fingers crossed. My elder brother did his M.Sc, joined P&T, did his Grad.ITE[telecom. Engg]. He was working as engineering supervisor, and was supporting the family. All my six younger brothers and sisters were in school. My last brother was just three. I could not understand the difficulties of my father who was supporting a family of 14 including my parents and 3 grandparents., and I was sitting idle at home, roaming the town with friends and seeing cinemas. 

I now feel how much my father would have felt in his heart at that time. I feel ashamed and wholeheartedly repent for all my mistakes. I sincerely feel very sorry for not listening to my father's words then. I have written articles in my blog under the captions "ON THE CENTENARY OF MY FATHER" and "MY MOTHER AND ME" to express how important my parents were to me. I was just wondering when I was to prosper in life. O' God, give me PROSPERITY.

We shall continue  in PART TWO.


comments 

gomathy.s07	11:49 PM (8 hours ago)
to me

It was so nice n I am wondering how you remember so many things happened in your childhood

I can visualize your stories....

I liked the 'cracker' incident.

Please share the rest of the parts 

by Vijay Nurani
Read Bio. I loved the punch line ‘The quality of life is in the living’. I am also April born like you. It is amazing you remember all your friends. Since you told me that you have not shared with very many I was touched and read it right away. There is no better time than today. Kal kare jo aaj, aaj kare jo Ab. Well written and nicely jells as it flows through your forming years. There are resemblances with what my father wrote on his bio. I will humbly disagree with you when you say you wasted your six years. I think life is about experiences. We all did things like bunking lectures and watch movie. But today when I meet my friends, we laugh about it. I did B Sc. In physics and then did my chartered Accountancy. Today I do neither physics nor accounting. But we all do what we feel is important to us. I fell in some stupid infatuation with a girl in 12th grade just after the prelims goofed up my chemistry paper and did not get enough marks for local engineering colleges. That too was an experience I think…Steve Jobs says it, it all manifests somewhere later in life. Serving in military would have been great. I see your love and respect for your parents. That is one unconditional love in life. Keep it coming…….I enjoyed it and if you do not mind I will show it to my father.