ON THE CENTENARY OF MY FATHER

Hi friends,

Recently, I met my mother in Jan 2016. She reminded me of my father's centenary and asked me to write an article on him. I wish to try my hand and hence this article.

My father was born on 6th Aug 1916. He was christened as Narayanaswamy by his parents after his grandfather Shri Narayanan. In those days, they used to name the grandchild after the grandparents and if the grandparents were alive, then they would name the child after great grandparents. Nowadays that system is long forgotten. Even if some people wish to follow, for record purposes some other fancy name is given.

He was born in a village called THINNIYAM near Anbil in Lalgudi taluk. His father was a Mirasdar ie an agriculturist looking after family lands. He was the last among six children consisting of four sons and two daughters. His father died when he was eleven and only his mother took great care of him from then on. He was good at his studies and he wanted to do engineering but could not do so due to family reasons.

So, he studied under one Shri Narayanaswamy and passed draftsmanship course and joined the Madras Govt. in Public Works Dept as Draftsman and then became as Head Draftsman. His mother and my maternal grandparents [my mother's parents] met in marriage and wanted to have an alliance between the two families. My father then married my mother Ms.Rajalakshmi on 1st April 1938 when my mother was 12 and father was 21. The marriage took place in VALADY village near Lalgudi.

My mother was the only daughter and her father was also a mirasdar looking after agricultural lands. In those days, Govt job was considered a boon and people gladly came forward to give their daughters in marriage to such boys. In addition, my father was handsome, very fair, with curly hair, and athletic body considered as important qualities for marriage. At that time, my father's salary was Rs.25/ per month. This was the early part of my father's life. He was good at his work and was well respected by all. He had worked in all major irrigation projects in Tamil Nadu viz., Periyar, Manimuthar, Vaigai dam, etc.

From 1941 to 1963, he had nine children consisting of 6 sons and 3 daughters. In those days, family planning was not in vogue and people considered terminating a pregnancy as unethical and also they believed that a child was born not only with a mouth but also with a pair of hands and that they would look after the parents in their old days. Later on, people reduced the number of children and it is still debated which is correct.

No one on this earth is completely perfect. Everyone has his plus and minus. My father is not an exception. The only point is, which is more, either the plus or the minus. I have observed my father from close quarters and I can count for all his qualities. Also, education and exposure play a major role in the making of a person. Considering his background, I summarize his personality as under to the best of my knowledge.

1. He was a devoted son. Irrespective of the shortcomings of his mother, he obeyed her and made her happy till she breathed her last. He never uttered a single word that would displease her. She was the person who taught him everything from the age of 11 and for that noble cause he repaid in full. To listen to the mother and to make her happy even for a single day is a difficult task. He was a devoted son throughout her life. I can proudly say that my father was like the "Rama" to his mother. He also looked after his in-laws with love in their later days.

2. He lived only for his children. His ambition was that every son should be an engineer and every daughter should marry an engineer. He had a great passion for that profession. Knowing his income and the number of children, he led a planned life so that the education of the children was in no way affected. There were occasions when three of his children were studying in college at the same time and he was able to manage their expenses.

3. He was a very simple man. Simple to the core. While he wanted his wife to be on silk Saree always, he wore a very simple dress. He used to buy one piece [about 20 meters] of the famous M.S. Long cloth of Mettur mills, which we now use for making a pillow cover, and stitched five white shirts and also bought five handloom dhotis with a black border made from Nagercoil. His shirt was with full sleeves half-open at the neck with two gold plated buttons used for decades. These five sets would last for 3 to 4 years. He wore only white and no colour dress. He traveled only by bi-cycle. His old Hercules with airplane seat was famous in his days.

4. He was a man of great self-respect. He never wanted to be at the mercy of others. He believed in the policy of giving and not taking. He was against graft and corruption. Though his position gave him opportunities, he never took any bribe and lived on principles. I still remember the occasion when he chided me for getting the newspaper from my neighbour.

5. The charity was his another virtue. He always wanted to help the poor. I know how he has helped his relatives even when he was not well to do. On all Saturdays, he used to keep 4 anna coins and gave to poor people who came to his house for alms. I have seen him providing food also to old people. I know his friend and colleague whose name was also Narayanaswami. My father helped him financially for the conduct of his daughter's wedding.

6. Telling the Truth was his another virtue. He never lied and never liked people lying to him. He used to tell me that if you start lying, you will always live in fear and you will never be bold to question the wrong.

7. He believed in accountability. He said only accounting will make you progress. Otherwise, you may not know where and how you have spent the money. One must see his growth every year. My parents used to write the accounts for the day at 8 PM every day. Even a 10 paise expense was accounted for. I followed his advice and wrote accounts and I have seen my growth. His policy was to spend for necessities, avoid the comforts and forget the luxuries.

8. He was a good sportsman. When he was working in Manimuthar and Vaigai, there were clubhouses in the site. I had seen him playing games. He played ball badminton, tennis, volleyball, ring ball, football, table tennis, kabaddi, athletics, and cards. He played ball badminton at the state level. He never played cards staking money. In Vaigai dam there was open space before our house. I was 10 and he was 38 or 39 then. One day, I challenged him to catch me on the run. You know the speed of a boy. But he caught me within 20 feet with his dhoti folded at his waist. Such was his alertness and speed.

9. His motto in life was: Do your duty. Make your parents happy. Help the poor and then Pray to God. There is no point in praying without doing the other three. If you follow this strictly, even God will come to see you.

Considering his plus, his minus was negligible. When I say "Tributes to my father" I should not write about his minus. But I should be fair. I found two drawbacks in him. First, he was short-tempered.  When other people made him unhappy, he lost his cool easily. Secondly, he rarely expressed his love for his kith and kin outwardly. However, he was a great human being, instrumental in bringing up successful children. He breathed his last in 1985 at the age of 69. Now his clan has grown with his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren totaling 64 people. Each and every one of them is loving with each other and are leading a happy life.

This family, THINNIYAM/VALADY CLAN has grown well due to his BLESSINGS. I am 71 now and I know my father since 1953 when I was 8. I can only visualize how he would be happy if he is alive today. He could not enjoy the pleasures of life for the sufferings he had undergone to lay the foundation for bringing up this family to great heights. Everyone is well educated and well-positioned and live in unity, love, and understanding under the able guidance of our mother who is 90 now. On this occasion, I take this opportunity on myself and on behalf of other members of this family,  to thank the great man for his untiring services which brought this family to its present position. We all pray to Lord and thank Him for giving him as our FATHER.