EXPECTATIONS !!!

Expectations are different for different people. Here are a few in a family.

A wife expects just three things from her husband. 1. Sincerity, no cheating. 2. To appreciate and to recognise. 3. To love her parents.

A husband expects just three things from his wife. 1. Good appearance. 2. Tasty food. 3. Good home management.

A son/daughter expects just three things from their parents? 1. A bicycle, 2. A smartphone and 3. The tv remote. That’s all !!!

The aged parents expect just three things from their earning children. 1. Caring. 2. Sharing. 3. Loving.

Random thoughts 2136 to 2150.

2136. Until we understand why pizza is made round and packed in a square box and eaten as a triangle, we will not understand the women.

2137. When the FINAL bank balance is going to be zero for every one of us, what is the purpose of amassing wealth instead of a contended life.

2138. The Supreme Court said that a homemaker is no less than a salaried person. Their services cannot be measured in terms of money.

2139. Who is to pay the bill at the restaurant when Man and woman go together ? Is it MEN(U) ? Or is it ME (N) U ?

2140. It is common courtesy or manners to talk as little as possible on the phone and not to disconnect it until the caller finishes his talk.

2141. Ayurveda recommends two meals a day. A big brunch at 11 am and a big meal at 6 pm. It calls a person who eats thrice a day is a rogi (sick).

2142. World shortest woman Jothi Amge from India who is 24.7” met world’s tallest man Sultan Kosen from Turkiye who is 8’3” at California on Monday.

2143. There are always two parties to a marriage. One is always right and the other is the husband.

2144. When we are stressed we eat ice cream, chocolate and sweets. Do you know why? Reverse the word STRESSED. You get DESSERTS.

2145. Whenever you walk with your wife, just hold her hand affectionately. Don’t hesitate to do it. That speaks volumes to her.

2146. I always sympathise with the traffic constable standing in the middle of the road braving the sun, inhaling the dust and serving the public.

2147. What is the opposite of “Children make mistakes in the dark”. Opposite: Mistakes in the dark make children.

2148. Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want. After seeing what the other person has, you wish you have ordered it.

2149. “à la carte” is ordering individual dishes from a menu in a restaurant. “Table d'hôte” is where a set menu is offered by the restaurant.

2150. As per records DOSA was first found in 6th century. Potatoes came to India in 16th century. So it took 800 years to make Masala Dosa.

A LETTER FROM NEWLY MARRIED DAUGHTER

Dear Mom,

Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my younger days. I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming.

But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family. I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day. I am expected to be presentable every time. 

I can’t just go out anytime I want to. I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family. I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to. I am expected to be active and around the family. I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family.

And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you, mom. Sometimes I think of coming back to you and getting pampered again.

I want to come home to my favourite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends. I want to sleep on your laps like I have no worry in this world. 

But then I suddenly realize, had you not got married and made such sacrifices in your life, I wouldn’t have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to. And suddenly, the purpose of all this becomes clear- to return the same comfort, peace and happiness to my new family that I got from you.

And I am sure that as time would pass, I would start loving this life equally as you do. Thank you mom for all the sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me the strength to do the same.

Love you.

TYPES OF HUSBANDS !!!!

 1: BACHELOR HUSBAND:

Does things on his own without consulting wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.

2: ACIDIC HUSBAND:

Is always boiling like acid and always angry violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous.

3: BOSSING HUSBAND:

Wants to be treated like a King but treats his Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to follow old tradition and hates being called by their first name.

4: NORMAL HUSBAND:

Husband for every woman. loves and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and has more female friends.

5: DRY HUSBAND

Very moody and stingy, doesn't consider wife's interest, doesn't make the relationship enjoyable. Has no sense of humour.

6: CROCIN HUSBAND:

Uses wife as a problem solver, only loves wife when in need of something from her. He's clever and knows his wife's weaknesses and capitalizes on that to get relief from his wife.

7: PARASITE HUSBAND.

Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of money. Uses wife's money on girlfriends. No initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilities.

8: BABY HUSBAND

Irresponsible and childish and can't make decisions on his own without asking his mother or relatives; subjects his wife to relatives' dictates thereby running to them when things go wrong.

9: VISITING HUSBAND

Not always at home, comes as a visitor. Provides family with all material things but has no time for them.

10: TRUE HUSBAND:

Caring and loving; he provides material and emotional needs and makes time for family. He guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.

ADVICE TO BRIDE TO BE.

Make sure you study your guy very well and know the group to which he belongs before deciding so that you will not regret later. 

Random thoughts 2121 to 2135.

2121. It is an offence to kill dogs that spread rabies. But it is not an offence to kill harmless chicken, goats, buffalo and pigs. How come?

2122. “Caesar’s wife is beyond suspicion" means if one is romantically involved with a prominent figure, one must avoid negative scrutiny.

2123. All our experiences in life make us not less valuable but more valuable, not less able to love but more able to love.

2124. Love actually cures people, both the ones who give love and also the ones who receive love.

2125. There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved; it is God’s finger on man’s shoulders.

2126. New employees think that the organisation is important to them. Old employees think that they are important to the organisation.

2127. In IIT JEE (2024), 23 people scored 100%. Telangana 7, Andhra 3, Rajasthan 3, Maharashtra 3, Delhi 2, Haryana 2, Gujarat 1, Karnataka 1, Tamilnadu 1.

2128. When asked how his employees are punctual, a businessman said “out of thirty parking lots in my office, I keep one as paid parking lot”.

2129. In 1800, it was feared that telephones would destroy the community by invading privacy, make people lazy and anti social.

2130. Dutch trains run entirely on wind energy. A wind mill running for an hour can power a train for 20 miles without any emissions.

2131. Reading books and listening to the learned develop knowledge. Sharing that knowledge to impress others makes one a better speaker.

2132. 15th February is the childhood cancer day which is formed due to genetics disorder. This can be cured unlike adult cancer.

2133. 84% of Indians are glued to their smartphones after waking up spending 31% of their time of the day leading to health issues.

2134. The toilets should not be flushed with the lid open as otherwise the plumes will spread bacteria and viruses through out the bathroom.

2135. The son told his father that there is a small get together at the school. The father asked how small? The son said: the principal, you and me.

IRONIES IN INDIA!!!

1. Politicians Divide Us, Terrorists Unite Us.

  

2. Everyone Is In a Hurry ,But NO ONE Reaches In Time

3. The actress Earned More Money Playing Mary Kom, Than Mary Kom Earned In Her Entire Career. 

4. Most People Who Fight Over Gita And Quran, Have Probably Never Read Any Of Them.

5. We Rather Spend More On Our Daughter's WEDDING Than On Her EDUCATION

6. The SHOES That We Wear Are Sold In Air Conditioned Show Rooms,The VEGETABLES That We Eat Are Sold On The Footpaths.

7. We Live In A Country Where Seeing A POLICEMAN Makes Us Nervous Rather Than Feeling Safe.

8. In IAS Exam, A Person Writes an Essay About How Dowry Is A Social Evil but His Parents Demand  Dowry In Crores, as He Is An IAS.

9. People Are Obsessed With Screen Guards On Their Smartphones But Never Bother Wearing A HELMET While Riding Bikes.

Artificial Lemon Flavour Is Used For 

"WELCOME DRINK"And Real Lemon Is Used In "FINGER BOWL"

EVALUATION OF A FATHER!!!

5 years old - Dad knows everything! 

7 years old - Dad knows. 

10 years old - Maybe Dad doesn’t know?! 

12 years old - Dad doesn’t know. 

14 years old - Dad's gone crazy! 

16 years old - Can’t take Dad seriously. 

18 years old - What does dad know?! 

22 years old - Dad's talking rubbish! 

24 years old - I know more than Dad!

26 years old - Dad seems to know some things after all. 

30 years old - Think I should ask Dad about this?! 

40 years old - It’s amazing how Dad went through all this! 

45 years old - Dad's been right all along. 

50 years old - If Dad was here, I could have learned a lot.