FOUR PILLARS OF THE FAMILY

Hi friends, 

Family is the fulcrum of life. The purpose of marriage is to get children, bring them up, educate them, get them married so that they take care of their parents in their old age. A family stands on four pillars. Even if one pillar falls, it will collapse. Most people do not understand this and spoil the happiness of the family. 

The four pillars are:
1. The husband.
2. The wife.
3. The husband's parents.
4. The wife's parents.
Let us discuss their responsibilities.

1. THE HUSBAND.
He is the most important person. He runs the show. The control of the family is vested with the breadwinner. Some are attached to the parents and some to the wife. Both are not good. He should love them both. They expect only love. He should make them happy. If he fails, the entire structure fails.

He may give partial control to his parents and keep important matters with him. He should give financial independence to all. The parents will spend judiciously on running expenses. He may consult his parents when there is a need. He should also love his wife's parents and extend help to them.

The joint family system can be avoided. The parents can live independently. Talks over the phone, regular visits, financial and medical assistance will make them happy. Once they are unable to live independently, they can be brought home.

2. THE WIFE:
She is the second in command. Happiness rests in her hands. She may take time to settle. Some girls love the husband but ignore his parents. Some girls love their parents but ignore the husband. Both are wrong. They should love everyone. A possessive attitude leads to all problems. 

She should get on with her mother-in-law. The parents are important to the family. She should extend her love and affection to them. Until she learns the nuances of running the family, she has to play the support role to the mother-in-law. She can take control in due course. 

If she is employed, she can discuss the modalities. She can keep some money for her independence. She can also help her parents. She should realize that running the family is teamwork. If such a positive attitude prevails,  things will be smooth.

3. HIS PARENTS: 
They should remember that they got their son married only for leading a happy life. They should live away until they are healthy. They should be self-sufficient. They should go along with the daughter-in-law and her parents and avoid any expectations. Problems arise only out of expectations.

They should understand the children's lifestyle and should not interfere. They should cover health insurance.  They should save for the children. When they fall down, only their children will take care of them. If they remember this,  life will be smooth. Otherwise, they will have to go to old age homes.

4. HER PARENTS:
They should remember that their daughter should be happy. They should teach her the nuances of a successful life. They must allow them to live their life. She should not be disturbed by their frequent visits. They should not interfere in the affairs of the boy's family.

They should not support their daughter when she is wrong. They can tell their daughter to come back if she is tortured physically, mentally, or psychologically by the husband or his parents. If a marriage fails there is no guarantee that the next one will succeed. They should try not to depend upon their daughter.

CONCLUSION: Everyone has a limit to go. If they remain within their limits things will go smooth. Plan your life and make it a happy and successful one. After all, it is in our attitude. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.