WE ARE FRIENDS BUT POLES APART

Whenever I pass through Purasawalkam circle in Chennai, I never failed to pray to the Vinayagar temple on the pavement near Gangadeeswarar temple. I have been doing this for the past 50 years since 1967 when I used to go to the office by that route. 

My friend who is a non-believer would wait for me a few yards ahead. We were close friends. He was 6 years elder to me. Daily we went to the office and returned together. We were poles apart but we remained as friends.

I am a brahmin and he is a non-brahmin. I believed in God but he did not. I am a follower of  Paramacharya and he was a supporter of Dr. Kalaignar M.Karunanidhi. I am a vegetarian and he is a non-vegetarian. I was a spendthrift and he was a vagabond.  

I bought "The Hindu" newspaper but he bought "Murasoli". I lent him money and he took hand loan from me. I was supporting my parents but he was carefree. I did not have fancy for any artists but he was a fan of Sivaji Ganesan. I am a graduate but he was a matriculate.

When he visited my house, he used to wait until I finished my prayer, puja or rituals. When we went to the hotel, cinema, park, beach, etc. we shared the expenses. When we ate together we used to take items mutually from the other's plate. We always shared a cool drink. 

We never commented on other's views, opinions, actions, outlook, and attitude. We accepted each other as they were. We ignored the minus and took the plus. Friendship was our main concern.  He is no more. He had passed away in 1997.

The Lord himself gave two options to the Dwarapalakas for coming back into his fold either after 10 births as his disciple or after 3 births as his non-believer. I wonder about these options. I presume my friend had opted the second to reach the Lord early but I have to wait for another 7 births.

I think there are various reasons for a person to be a believer or non-believer of God. Mainly, it depends on his parents, lifestyle, circumstances, and upbringing. Secondly their own attitude in taking success or failure in life. Thirdly what happens in critical situations when things are beyond their control.

It is possible to live harmoniously together provided we follow only one principle. NEVER DISCUSS, DEBATE, DISPUTE AND DENOUNCE OTHER'S BELIEF. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

TWO TRAINS ON THE SAME PLATFORM

A good host treats well and a good guest behaves well. We are good hosts as well as good guests. We are hospitable to our guests and provide them with tiffin, coffee etc and treat them nicely. 

Sometimes it so happens when a friend visits our house, another friend suddenly enters without prior notice. We provide them both with tiffin and coffee. One must be lucky that no other friend arrives to make it a conference. 

The problem is, if they know each other very well, they discuss among themselves various matters without even bothering about us and coolly leave the place together. Are we to doubt a foul play?

It looks as though my house is like a restaurant for them to meet and discuss matters. We feel disappointed for having received them as guests. What to do? Mind you, there cannot be two trains on the same platform nor two guests at the same time. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING

Nowadays, it is heartening to see good understanding between the mother in law and daughter in law. Excepting a few, who have traditional belief, all are friendly. They help each other or share domestic chores. If one is sick, the other takes care. If one goes shopping, the other manages. 

In my house the understanding between the MIL and DIL is unique. To cook rice, many works are involved. To clean the rice, to add the required water, to close the lid and to put the weight, to allow 3 whistles, to keep the flame slim for 3 minutes, and finally to switch off the stove. 

You will be surprised, if I say, they even share each of these works. I think probably they do like this because the blame if any, does not fall on any one of them. Whenever I ask them who prepared the dish, they say "BOTH" in chorus. Is it not a good idea?

GOLDEN PRINCIPLES

Hi friends,

God created human beings and man created religion and the caste system. Every human being is born with the blessings of God and 99.99% of the human DNA is alike. Only 0.01% contribute to the differences. Till the birth, no one knows to which religion or caste one is going to be born. 

Only after birth, the differences come to fore. Looks, Colour, status, intelligence, and other qualities are formed later. The term caste is not an Indian word. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is derived from the Portuguese casta, meaning "race, lineage, breed". 

Hindu is one of the religions. The caste system divided Hindus into four main categories - Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas, and the Shudras. The main castes were further divided into about 3,000 castes and 25,000 sub-castes, each based on their specific occupation. 

Outside of this Hindu caste system were the achhoots - the Dalits or the untouchables. It was believed that society differentiated individuals based on their lifestyle and in the nature of work they were doing. Everyone was considered important.

Brahmin was varna (class) in Hinduism specializing as priests, teachers (acharya) of sacred learning. Brahmins were responsible for religious rituals in temples, as intermediaries between temple deities and devotees, as well as solemnizing a wedding with hymns and prayers. 

Lifestyle has changed. Efforts are being taken to eradicate the caste system. No one knows how far it is going to be successful. Love marriages are on the card, inter-caste marriages and live-in relationship are taking place. I am a brahmin and therefore I can write only about brahmins. 

For centuries they have been taught the virtues of life. They are supposed to possess and practice them in day to day life. How far they are following is debatable. However, I consider them as golden principles. I wish others also to know about it and follow in their day to day life if feasible. 

1. Education is the foremost irrespective of income.
2. Doing one's duty irrespective likes and dislikes.
3. Taking care of the parents at any cost.
4. Always tell the truth and never lie.
5. Never hurt anyone physically or orally.
6. Teach others what one has learned.
7. Self-respect is important. One should not be at the mercy of others.
8.  Respect and obey elders and follow their guidance.
9.  Believe in God, bathe in the morning and do puja daily.
10. Non-violence is the basis of life.
11. Lead a virtuous life free from vices.
12. Do not eat non-vegetarian food.

N.B. I request the readers not to give any communal colour to this article. It is not in any way propaganda. I write this purely with the intention of elucidating them to lead a happy, healthy, successful and peaceful life. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

[Paras 3,4, and 5 Wikipedia]

INTELLECTUAL GROWTH

Hi friends,

What we liked when we are a kid we don't like it later. Our taste goes on changing every day until we die. It is intellectual growth. I am able to see this growth in my attitude. What I liked 10 years back, I don't like it now.

Recently, I happen to interact with a young man who is 22, an engineer and working, He used to discuss with me on various subjects including his family matters. On his request, I used to extend some advice to solve the problems to the extent of my knowledge.

One day, the subject turned out to book. Reading is my passion and I always advise people to read good books. The beauty of reading is that the taste changes frequently and you wish to go to a higher standard due to your intellectual growth.

There are so many categories of books like fiction, politics, religion, spiritualism, cinema, jokes, sports, etc. Everyone has their own taste and it is their nature. In good human relations communication is important. We should talk only what the other person likes and not otherwise.
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However, it is different when you deal with elderly people whom you consider knowledgeable and who are interested in you. I am 50 years elder to him and assuming one book per month, I would have read about 500 books more than him. I wanted to suggest good books suitable for his age.

The irony is, I can suggest a book for him but he cannot suggest for me due to the age factor. It looked as if he has read some books and he talked high about an author whose books I have also read. According to me, he is not a good author and he writes with perverted views. 

With some concern for my friend, I said he is not a good author and I do not like to read his books. He became furious and started abusing me in strong words as if he knows the author. I felt humiliated and stopped all contacts with him. It is very difficult, to be honest nowadays.

THE SIXTH SENSE

Hi friends,

I notice funny incidents happen during my walk. Normally it involved humans. Today it was animals. A middle-aged lady was walking her pet dog. It was not just an ordinary dog. It was a German Shepherd. It was more than the size of the lady with fur, gait and ferocious look, etc. 

It was the dog actually walking the lady as she could not control it. It looked as if it was long since taken out. Out of fear, I wanted to cross over to the other side of the road. I was held up due to the traffic and in the meanwhile, the dog had come near me and started smelling all over my body.

A chill run down my spine. The lady consoled me not to fear as it was friendly and not of biting type. I crossed over to the other side and saw 3 street dogs, at the corner of the street, seriously discussing to send a petition to the Govt requesting to give prior notice before catching them. 

Suddenly, the GS freed itself from the lady and pounced on the weak street dogs. Two dogs ran away and from a distance barked aloud to show their formal protest on the onslaught. There was a big fight between the two dogs. As usual the weak lost the battle with the GS almost killing it. 

The defeated dog was crying uncontrollably in pain. With great difficulty, the lady retrieved the GS but she did not care about the wounded one. As usual, many people gathered and enjoyed the scene. I did not know what went through in their mind. But I wish to tell you what I thought about it. 

Dogs are friendly with humans but not with dogs of the same kennel group. Then why should they fight with each other instead of being friendly? The GS was so proud since it was well-bred and wanted to show its physical strength. It had the muscle power to destroy the weak street dog. 

Humans are friendly with dogs but not with the same human group. The more powerful, either with money, intelligence or physical strength pounce upon the weak and try to destroy them instead of showing love, affection, sympathy, care, and concern. We should contemplate as we have the sixth sense.

HOW WE GOT OUR DIL?

One should marry a person suitable for his/her attitude and not to his/her liking. There are rich/poor, beautiful/not beautiful, educated/not educated, employed/not employed, city/rural, emotional/intellectual boys, and girls of 12 types. Everyone has a plus and minus. You have to select the person suitable for your attitude. In 2004, when my son was 24, I started looking for a girl. I always carried his horoscope, bio-date, and photograph with me.

I and my wife attended a wedding in Tiruchy in 2007. I saw a beautiful girl sitting beside a lady. When I inquired, the lady said the girl was her neighbour's daughter and that her elder sister was for marriage. I gave her my son's horoscope, biodata, and photo to be given to the father of the girl. 

I got an e-mail from the father advising that the horoscopes were matching along with a horoscope and photo of the girl. I found her star was very good and her horoscope was blemishless. But my wife, son, and daughter were reluctant to give their approval. I told them we should not decide based on the photo but we should see the girl in person.

I and my wife went on 5th April to see the girl. My wife liked the girl. That was important. She was good looking, educated, employed, middle class, and from rural. Since my son would not be able to come to their place to see the girl, I requested the father whether he could bring the girl to Chennai. 

As he had no contacts in Chennai, I suggested he could come and stay at my house. As my son was coming on 12th to attend his friend's wedding, he could plan to come by that date. I told him if my son liked the girl, he will bear his expenses. If my son rejected the girl, I shall bear all his expenses.

They arrived on the 11th morning. Initially, he wanted to stay in a lodge. On my persuasion, they stayed with us and got ready on the 12th morning. They stayed in one of the two bedrooms. The other one was my son's. He arrived on the 12th at 6 AM. He had coffee and went to his room to get ready for the wedding. 

After some time, he came out well dressed. At that time, I told him that the girl was waiting in the other bedroom and he could talk to her for five minutes and then go for the wedding. The girl's parents and sister were seated in the hall with us. Cursing me and my wife, he reluctantly went into the bedroom to see the girl.

He did not come out within five minutes. They came out after one and a half hours and declared in chorus that they have decided to marry. They are now leading a happy life with a wonderful daughter. Even for the delivery of the child, my DIL stayed with my wife for 6 months. She had won the hearts of all my family members. MAY GOD BLESS HER.

25TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

I am sitting near the window of the AC coach of the Bangalore Express. My wife in the opposite seat is reading a book. Unlike the sleeper class, the glass partition forbids cool breeze entering the compartment.  I am going to Bangalore to attend the 25th wedding anniversary of my last brother.

It is long since I have come out of my house. Though the mind is willing, the body is not cooperating. I have a sensitive stomach. I cannot eat outside. I have to eat only homely meals. Hence, I do not go out. The freedom is gone. As the train moved forward, my thoughts went in the reverse.

There was a time when I traveled short distance by cycle and long distance by bus. I never traveled by train. After some time, I switched over to the train instead of the bus. But I traveled only by unreserved compartment to avoid the hassles of booking at the station. It was a tedious affair.

After the introduction of computer reservation, I preferred traveling by the sleeper class. I never traveled by AC class for three reasons. 1. It was thrice costly 2. I do not like the blankets and pillows given for the journey.3. There was a fear of fire accident due to electrical short-circuiting.

Then, my son booked the tickets online. He insisted on our traveling by AC class. I rejected it outright for the above reasons and also that I did not want him to incur more expenditure. With my wife standing on his side, I had no other alternative but to yield to his request.

We are 6 brothers and 3 sisters. My mother is 92. She is always interested in celebrating the 25th wedding anniversary of each of her children with all festive and fanfare. It was started in the year 1996 for her first son. All of us assemble with our family to make it a big occasion. 

It is celebrated like a real wedding to make our mother happy. Gifts are given to the couple. Dinner is arranged from outside. There will be fun, dining, chatting, singing, joking, and gossiping, etc. We all enjoy the whole day and return home in the night. The expenses are equally shared by the siblings. 

This brother is the youngest and he is younger to me by 18 years. He was born in 1963 when I was doing my degree. I carried him as a baby. I taught him how to walk. I got him rockets when he was a boy. When I got married, he was 11. Now he is an engineer from CIT, Coimbatore. 

He wanted to be on his own. He is now a successful businessman. However, pride has not gone into his head. He is simple, pious. humble, respectful, jovial, friendly, adore the mother, brothers, sisters, and family and he is philanthropic. He has a wonderful wife and two excellent boys. MAY GOD BLESS HIM.