FINDING AN ALLIANCE FOR THE DAUGHTER

Hi friends,

The responsibility of the parents should end when the children get married. The children lose flexibility when they grow old. Adjusting and accepting is important for the success of a marriage. When one is young, he has the tendency to go along with people but in later years he becomes rigid. 

I also experienced difficulties in finding an alliance for my daughter. I would say that getting the son married is more difficult than a daughter. Because we know about our daughter but we do not know anything about the daughter-in-law.

My daughter is fair, beautiful, intelligent, well educated and well mannered. She wanted to help me until my son finished his education. But we decided to conduct her marriage at the age of 21. We did not prefer foreign boys. We preferred engineers as my daughter is an engineer.

The first alliance was from Coimbatore. His uncle was in Ashok Nagar, Chennai. We invited all our brothers and sisters to attend the girl seeing the ceremony. But only the uncle and his wife came. They regretted and said the boy wanted to study further.

The second alliance was from Hyderabad. He was a Chartered Accountant getting a fabulous salary. His parents saw our daughter and returned without saying a word. On the next day, we went to their house to get their opinion.

Their cousin asked us about the dowry. We did not like the way they started the discussion. We told them, we have not even seen the boy and the boy and the girl have not met and you want to discuss dowry. I said sorry and left the place.

The third one was also a Chartered Accountant. When we went to their house to invite them, we saw a middle-aged woman lying on the floor, reading a magazine. Beside her, a 3-month-old baby, with feces all over its body, was kicking its legs. 

Heads of ladies finger and clothes were strewn all over the place. A bulky man walked across the room without even bothering about us. A fat lady asked us what we wanted. My wife was not interested in. We gave some lame excuse and ran out of the house.

The fourth one was a civil engineer. They had a construction business and the boy studied civil Engg in the US. A Gurkha allowed us to go inside the house after checking with the master. However, we were not in favour of rich people.

The fifth one was a software Engg in Microsoft. The boy was handsome. We noticed the boy taking a bite from his father's tiffin plate. This gesture showed the understanding between the father and son. 

The parents saw our daughter and took her photo to show it to the boy. The mother was very friendly. After one week, we went to their house to know their stand. The mother said she did not show the photo to her son. 

After a week we went. Again the mother gave the same reply. We went again after another week and the mother had not shown the photo to the son. I got upset and asked her to return the photo and I said  I was not interested.

The mother was so possessive about her son and she was even reluctant to show the photo to him. It is not advisable to give the daughter in marriage to a boy whose mother is possessive about him. The couple cannot lead a peaceful life.

LOVERS EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE

Hi friends,

This morning during my walk, I saw a college-going boy and a girl aged about 18, fair and good looking, coming from the opposite direction, carrying shoulder bags, holding their hands and before crossing me, talking, laughing, giggling, fighting, arguing, slapping, and smiling. Hence this article.

Parents do not consider that their children are matured enough to take an independent decision on marriage. They are unable to digest the fact that their children have taken the decision without even consulting them. So they take it as an insult. Also, they are much worried in case of any eventuality.

Assuming that you are studying in a college, one day after reaching the class you come to know that there is a test. You have not prepared well and with what you have followed in the class, you write the test. You expect 50% but when the mark is announced you get 65%. You are so happy because you got more than you expected.

Assuming the lecturer announces a test before a week, and you prepare day and night and go well prepared. You write the test to your fullest satisfaction and you expect 95%. When the result comes you get the first mark in the class with a score of 85%. Though you got the first mark, you are not happy because you expected 95 but got only 85.

In the first case, you are happy when you got only 65 but you are unhappy when you got 85 in the second case. You are unhappy because you do not get what you expected. Similarly, in an arranged marriage, you do not know anything about the spouse and you have no expectation. You are happy even if you get reasonable satisfaction and you can improve upon it in due course. 

But in love marriage, it is the opposite. You know the person well as you both have moved closely. While making love, the boys do various things to please the girls but they are different after marriage. Mostly the lover turns into a husband which breaks the heart of the girl. If they continue to be LOVERS EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE, then they will ever be happy. 

While I was in college, I received love letters from two girls. I told them that I was not open. I was not mentally strong to face failure and that I believed in love after marriage. Sanctity was important to me. I wanted to be a RAMA to my would-be wife. Even in buses, I stood away from ladies. Of course, I wanted to marry two handicapped girls but there was no love episode. 

According to research, in India arranged marriages are more and love marriages are less for ethical, moral, cultural, traditional, regional, linguistic, communal, economic, and religious reasons. In cosmopolitan and well to do families this concern does not arise due to the money power and the independence of the children.  GOD BLESS YOU.

DETAILS TAKEN FROM GOOGLE: In fact, today up to 90 percent of marriages in India and 60 percent of all marriages in the world are arranged. Divorce rates in India overall are pegged at about 1.2 percent. In India rates of divorce in love marriages are much higher than in arranged marriages. According to a 2012 study by Statistic Brain, the global divorce rate for arranged marriages was 6 percent — a significantly low number. Compared to the 55 percent of marriages in the world that are arranged, this low statistic shows the success rate of arranged marriages.

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KANNAN WEDS GEETHA

Hi friends,

It was 3rd Feb 1974. The most important day of my life. It was my wedding day. On this auspicious day, I married Ms. Geetha, d/o Mr. S.Rangarajan of Srirangam. The function was celebrated in a simple way in their house itself and not in any hall. 

There was no video in those days but only photographs. People did not even know how to smile for the photo. The bride was shy always. I am pleased to present before you the photos taken during the function.

Nowadays people take hundreds of photos for the wedding album. Within a short time, they forget about it. For my wedding in 1974, only 16 photos were taken. That is the economy. I am still preserving them

இப்போதெல்லாம் கல்யாண ஆல்பததில் நூற்றுக் கணக்கான போட்டோக்கள் ஓட்டுவது வழக்கம். சில நாட்களில் அவை இருக்கும் இடமே தெரியாது. 1974 இல் எனது திருமணத்தில் எடுத்த போட்டோக்கள் மொத்தமே பதினாறு போட்டோக்கள் தான். அதுதான் சிக்கனம். அவைகளை நான் இன்னமும் பாதுகாத்து வைத்திருக்கிறேன். 

A BIG THANK YOU FOR VIEWING.

THE MOTHER IS LIKE A ROSE

Hi friends,

Aging is a natural process. My mother is no exception. She has also gone old. She is 91 plus fragile, greyish hair, shrunken skin, brownish eyes, withered teeth, unable to stand erect, bent at the waist level, always looking at the floor, depending on walkers to move, confined within four walls and bedridden. 

These are the symptoms of aging. Even then she is my mother. I love her so deep. A rose is always a rose. You look at a rose. You will not like to take your eyes off it. THE MOTHER IS LIKE A ROSE and you will not like to take your eyes off her. She is the same mother who took care of me and my children years ago.

She used to sing lullabies when my children were young. I wondered at her melodious voice. She had not learned music from any guru. She was her own guru. Over a period, she had learned Carnatic and folk songs. We are six brothers and three sisters. Whenever we gather around her to make her happy, she used to share everything with us. Even at this age, she sings for us. 

People who have learned music used to appreciate the sruthi she maintains, breath control at this age and her passion for music. Would you like to hear her singing? Here she goes. It is a folk song listing out the various dishes served in the feast of the wedding of Valsala, daughter of Balaram, brother of Sri Krishna, with Abimanyu, son of Arjuna in Mahabharat. 

LET US LAUGH IT OUT

Hi friends, 

To "Laugh" is medicine without side effects. It keeps you in high spirits. It removes your stress and strain. It makes you forget your worries. In Yoga, there is an exercise to laugh out. It is artificial. But jokes are natural. Shall we laugh it out?

CALLS  TO  911

1. Dispatcher: 9-1-1. What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard sounds like gunshots from the last house in the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have a blouse and slacks. why?

2. Dispatcher: 9-1-1. What is your emergency?

Caller: I am trying to reach nine eleven but my phone does not have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven

Caller: I thought you just said nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, madam nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same things.

Caller: Friend, I may be old but I am not stupid.

3. Dispatcher: 9-1-1. What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are very frequent.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No. You idiot! This is her husband.

4. Dispatcher: 9-1-1.

Caller: I am having trouble breathing. I am out of breath, I think I am going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I am at a payphone. In the north street.

Dispatcher: Sir, An ambulance is on the way. Are you asthmatic?

Caller: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the police.

QUOTES:

5. Bus stops in the bus stand.

Auto stops in auto stand

Cycle stops in the cycle stand

Does mosquito stops in mosquito stand?

6. You have water in tender coconut.

You have water in the earth

You cannot use a bore but only a straw in the coconut.

You cannot use a straw but only a bore in the earth.

7. There are many cells in the body

But you cannot put a Sim card in any.

8. If you take a sleeping tablet,  you get to sleep but,

If you take cough medicine,  you don't get cough

9. If you get tooth pain you can remove the tooth.

But if you get leg pain, you can't remove the leg

Nor if you get headache you cannot remove the head.

10. Ishwarya Roy may be a great actor. 

If she drives a Hero Honda,

it is only a Hero Honda, and 

it will not a Heroine Honda.

11. Whatever the efforts it takes, and

whatever the speed it goes, the 

the back wheel cannot overtake

the front wheel.

12. A husband-wife were talking to each other.

WIFE: People say a husband and wife cannot live together in heaven. Is it true?

HUSBAND: That is why it is called heaven.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

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TWO THINGS WE NEED THE MOST

Hi friends,

Both health and wealth are cousins. Wealth is needed to live and health is to enjoy the fruits of wealth. Bad health takes away wealth. We work hard to get wealth but we fail to take care of our health. Health is inherited and depends on our lifestyle. We have to design our lifestyle to stay healthy. 

Health issues do not surface until we are 40. Thereafter, it appears one by one. The most important issue is the weight. It must be as per BMI [body mass index]. The formula is [ Bodyweight in kgs divided by height in meters squared. Underweight below 18.5 kg/m2. normal weight 18.5 to 25, overweight 25 to 30, obese over 30 ].  

Excess carbo is converted into fat. Saturated fat is bad. Sugar and salt should be limited. Fruits, vegetables, curd and buttermilk to be consumed more. 6 to 8 glasses of water to be taken daily. Coffee or tea to be curtailed. Soft drinks and bakery products to be avoided. Snacks should be occasional. Eat at a fixed time.

Walking and cycling are good exercises. Walk 30 minutes daily. Learn exercises and Yoga. Take a bath twice daily. Meditation relieves stress. Tobacco products or alcohol to be forbidden. Listen to good music. It relieves stress. 

Play with children and talk to parents and inquire about their health. Be away from work once in 4 months. Have a balanced approach to life. Do not get tension or agitated or anger. Avoid arguments and confrontation. Respect other's views. 

Have a normal sex life. Do breathing exercise. Inhale through one side of the nose and release through the other side. Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy wealthy and wise. Get up from bed at 5 AM and go to bed by 10 PM. 

Believe in God and do the duty. Once a year, have a medical check-up. Spend judiciously and save for the rainy day. Housing, medical expenses, insurance, education, and retired life are to be taken care of. It gives peace of mind and better health.   

Self-medication is bad. You should always consult a doctor. Taking antibiotics affects vital organs. Antibiotics destroy good bacteria. We should try to enhance resistance power. For serious ailments involving the heart, lungs, liver, kidney, and brain, we must go to the specialists. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

THE SCAR THAT WILL NEVER FADE

Hi friends, 

The wedding is over. The girl's parents are fully satisfied with the way the wedding is conducted. The satisfaction of having given the daughter to a suitable boy removes all the stress and strain but the feeling of separation of the daughter remains.

After every marriage, it is the wish of every parent that they should become a grandparent. After a few months, they hear the news that their daughter has conceived. Their joy knew no bounds as they are going to become grandparents. Then the girl is sent to her parents for safe delivery of the child.

Why is she sent to her mother? According to my opinion, the girl's father is only a custodian. The girl is sent to her mother purely for rest. It is not advisable for her to be with the in-laws and her husband during the last two months before delivery and the first three months after delivery. I wish to write about my personal experience.

My first son was born in 1974. He was fair, hale, and healthy and weighed 3.5 Kgs. My in-laws had arranged a midwife for the delivery in their house itself. Unfortunately, the baby had swallowed some fluid, developed a respiratory problem, and died within a few hours. Bad news. All our dreams, expectation, happiness, and suffering had gone to waste.

A doctor would have sucked the fluid and the baby would be alive. I would not have lost my son. If he is alive today,  he might be 42 and giving me wonderful support at this old age. It is fate. It is destined that I should lose my first son. Every now and then, I think about him. Then I console myself. It is a permanent SCAR THAT WILL NEVER FADE.

After 25 years in 1997, my daughter came for her first delivery. Thoughts about losing my first child came into my mind. I resolved that everything should be done to avoid any eventuality and to take maximum care of her. I wanted my daughter to have normal delivery as it is safe and healthy for the mother and baby. It is less expensive also. 

Hence, I visited lady doctors in  Senthil Nursing Home, Sundaram Medical Foundation, Vijaya Hospital, GG Hospital, Dr. Lakshmi clinic, Devaki Hospital, St.Isabel's Hospital, Kalyani Hospital, and finally EVK Nursing Home in Chennai. I discussed with all doctors and wanted their assurance for normal delivery. No one was willing to give assurance.

Dr. Uma Ram of EVK Nursing Home gave the assurance. She was the one to advise my daughter to undergo a Down's Syndrome test. Though it was far from my house, we went there for all check-ups, and finally, she had a normal delivery. The same doctor looked after the delivery of my second grandson and first granddaughter which were all normal deliveries. Thank you.