MY MOTHER-IN-LAW

Hi friends,

Normally a mother in law is not a welcome person. She is possessive about her family. No one taught her how to go along with others. But the mothers-in-law of the men are different. They like their son-in-law as long as their daughters are happy.

My wife's mother was Ms. Seethalakshmi, fondly called "Seethamma",  w/o  Sri.S.Rangarajan of Srirangam. She was very fair, beautiful, short, innocent, cheerful, with curly hair, clad in silk Saree, and always looked as fresh as a flower.

She had 3 daughters and a son, of whom I have married the second. Her last daughter was a friend of my sister in college. She also became a friend of my mother and gave her second daughter in marriage to me. She never failed to make Akkaravadisal [a sweet dish] whenever I visited her house.

Her motive was"friend to all and foe to none". Her love was universal. She always had a smiling face. She never got angry. Her innocence was unbelievable. She could change even the enemy into a good friend. I wish to mention here two instances that inspired me to love her more.

In 1997, we went to Srirangam to invite my in-laws for our daughter's wedding. They were happy since I had honoured my father-in-law by mentioning his name on the invitation. They advised us to get a silk saree, a gold chain. a pair of toe rings, to the liking of my daughter, as their gifts for the wedding.

Before the wedding, we went to Srirangam to handover those items to them and also our gifts for the wedding. My father-in-law inquired about the value of the items he asked us to get. We told him that it was 37,000/. He brought a 50 rupee bundle and started counting the notes.

My mother-in-law told him spontaneously "Why are you counting it? Give the entire bundle to him" She did not care about the value. Such was her innocence, love, affection, and attitude to others. Her magnanimity was great. A lady par excellence.

Once I went late to their house at 9-30 in the night. Normally, they went to bed by 7-30 or 8-00. Knowing this, I already had dinner in the hotel. She used to give milk to everyone daily before going to bed. I had the milk and told her I should leave early the next morning. 

She arranged for the car to drop me at the station. When I was about to leave, as I did not have any change, I asked her to give me change for Rs100. She gave me in 10 rupee notes.  When I gave her the 100 rupee note in return, she said " Should I not give you 100 rupees? You keep it and it might be useful." 

Such was her approach to life. So timid, so tender and so touching the heart. She is no more. I was happy to carry her on my shoulders during her last journey. She was more than a mother to me. I miss her a lot. In her remembrance, I have named my granddaughter after her. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

ON THIS DAY IN THAT YEAR 1966

Hi friends, 

The Union Govt celebrates Republic Day on 26th Jan in New Delhi.  Every battalion from NCC, Air Wing, Navy, Scouts, both girls and boys wings from each state sends a contingent of cadets. The preparation started in September. The selection was done at the college, district, and state levels. Only about 40 cadets were selected in the whole state.

In 1965, I was doing my final year degree in St.Joseph's Tiruchy. My parents and Principal Fr. Mathias advised me to think thrice as the exams were due in April. I had a dream of serving in the Army for which passing B and C certificates in the NCC and attending this parade would be of great advantage.

So I enrolled myself. The main aspects they look for, were your turn out, marching talent, stamina to carry the rifle for a long distance, and in bayonet fight. Major Abdul Khader was in charge of the district. I was confident I could easily pass at the college level. I also did well at the district level and got selected.

We were to go to Madras for the final selection. Many student cadets came from different colleges across the state. The first selection was in St.George's school in Shenoy Nagar and the final at Pachaiappa's college. The contingent from Tiruchy traveled by the Tuticorin Express. Throughout the night I did not sleep and I was polishing my boots, shaving, dreaming, etc.

Finally, we landed and went to the venue, had breakfast and tea, and assembled for the ultimate. Senior Division NCC was called after other units were completed. All the cadets were lined in three's and did march past for two hours without any break. Finally, the Lt. Col in charge of the 2nd Madras battalion came for selection.

My chest number was 42. While we were marching, suddenly it started raining heavily spoiling our turn out. My number was called first and my heart was broken. I thought I was not selected.  My joy knew no bounds when I came to know that I was the first to be selected. After the selections were over, we assembled to receive instructions about the Delhi trip.

The camp at Delhi was for two months during Dec and Jan. It was a huge one with hundreds of girls and boys staying in tents in biting cold. We met different people from different places speaking different languages. We were allowed to go out on Sunday shopping. It was a nice experience though tough. I can write another article about the camp. Finally, the D-day arrived.

On 26th Jan 1966, we got up at 5 AM, had our breakfast and tea, and assembled for the march past. The distance to cover was about 7 KMS and to march with the rifle, on one hand, was both painful and enjoyable. The event was over by 4 PM. It was a strenuous one and only people with a lot of stamina could withstand it. I feel very proud that I took part in a great event.

                                                                    JAI HIND

comments

Uma Sundaram	12:49 PM (2 hours ago)
to me

Dear Anna 

Super - duper to even read about it .........could imagine how much of excitement it would have been for you !!! Kudos to you and your stamina !!!

Namaskarams  & love 

Uma Sundaram

Uma Sundaram	9:24 PM (10 hours ago)
to me

Thank you and many salutations to you on this great achievement As I was living with you together I could recollect most of the details Iam really proud of your achievement 

Thank you
Sundaram

THE STALE CHEQUE

Hi friends, 

I loved my mother to the core of my heart. I never made her unhappy. Even at an old age, she kept her things in order. One day she found a cheque kept absentmindedly inside a book.  She gave it to me to deposit in her account in the bank. My father is no more. 

Years back he had purchased some shares in a company. Every year the company sent a dividend warrant. This cheque was also the dividend payment for that year. Unfortunately, the cheque was outdated by more than 6 months and it had become stale. 

It could not be deposited in the bank. The amount was negligible say about Rs.200/. I explained to her and suggested we could ignore the cheque. She was not convinced by my explanation and asked me to go to the company and get a new cheque. 

For years she had not handled any money and she could not guess its value. The company was far away and to go in person, the cost of petrol would be more than the value of the cheque, apart from physical inconvenience and the time involved. 

To contact over the phone was a tedious affair as I had to contact the call centre, select their nine options, and get the person concerned online would take half of my life. When I explained the difficulties to my mother, she asked me to go by bus. 

She had not seen the outside world for years. Firstly, it was a long time since I had travelled by bus. Secondly, I had to walk a KM to reach the bus stop, wait for 30 mts to get a bus, travel for 30 mts to reach the destination, and walk another KM to reach the company. 

I thought it was not worthwhile going to the company for a paltry amount. However, I did not want to explain to her the difficulties involved in going to the company. She had a lot of love for me, and she would not compel me to do the job. However, I had to think from her angle. 

Her husband had invested and the dividend was the return on his hard-earned money. She felt as though it belonged to her husband. She did not want to forgo even if it was a small amount. That was her sentimental feeling which I should respect. It might look meaningless. 

She might look stupid, adamant and unreasonable. She might be firm in her stand. She might be interested in getting her job done at any cost. She might not be able to visualize things from a broader perspective. She might be uneducated and lacked critical evaluation of things. 

In spite of all these shortcomings, she was my mother. It was her wish. She was ignorant. She had some beliefs. I should make her happy irrespective of my likes and dislikes. Without any protest, I got a new cheque from the company and deposited it in her account.

COMMENTS

Gowri Ramkumar	10:05 AM (1 minute ago)
to me

Hi Mama,

Such an obedient son!  Even though it was a paltry amount you honoured her wishes and brought her happiness.  

I think this episode speaks more about you as a son - than paati as a mother.

Very proud and honoured to have been born into a family where integrity, implicit obedience and immense respect are part and parcel of everyday life!

Lots of love,

Gowri

WITHIN FOUR FRAMES

Hi friends,

A few days back a person well known to me is no more. He is also a distant relative. I do not know why I have been thinking about him continuously for the past two days. Whenever I am idle, my thoughts go to him. He is much younger to me. 

I should have gone before him. I don't know how I lost in the race. As a matter of fact, nobody knows. He is a good man. A very pious man. A religious man. Far better than me. He has brought up his two children and they are well settled in life. 

He has a wonderful wife to take care of him and three grandchildren to play with. All of a sudden he has gone creating a vacuum in his place. His wife will find it difficult to manage without him. Among the two of them, when one is gone, the other always suffers. 

Loneliness kills. What for this life is meant? My thoughts go wild. We eat different foods, wear different dresses, see different films, talk about spiritualism, religion, politics, and other gossips, etc. We do so many things without having even an iota of thinking about our last day. 

In Mahabharat, the great Yudhishtra, while answering the questions of the Yatchan, said even after seeing so many people die, one thinks that he is going to live long, is the greatest wonder of the world. What happens when the number of counts of breaths assigned to us is over? 

No one knows for sure where we will go and what will happen to us. Have we done anything good for society for others to remember us after the inevitable? That is the purpose of life. Have we made our parents happy? Have we helped anyone poorer? 

Have we lived a life like a real human being? That is what matters the most. Otherwise, we will only be hanging on the wall WITHIN FOUR FRAMES. You like it?

COMMENTS

Gowri Ramkumar	10:41 PM (9 hours ago)
to me

Dear Mama,

Very nicely written. Thought-provoking as well.  

You are right - we don't think of our last day, although we should.  

We will be hanging within the frames for a few years (maybe?). In all probability, that also will be tossed out after a few more years.  

I will try to be a better person.

Love,

Gow

..

TO SOLVE A PERENNIAL PROBLEM

Hi friends,

Every day there is news about molesting or raping of a woman. Our country has lost its glory of sacred culture. We have to find a solution to it. Feminists may find some of my views are conservative. Personal enmity, robing of the jewels, lust are some of the reasons that can be attributed.

Personal enmity can be settled by reporting to the police and arriving at an amicable solution. Regarding jewels, to avoid chain snatching they can walk on the right side of the road. They can cover the jewels with their dress or keep it in a bank locker. 

The most predominant factor is lust. Not all men but only a few are lustful. It is a desire for physical gratification. No education can cure this. In a country where womenfolk are worshiped, to see this happening is a shame. Everyone should feel as if it is his own loss.

They should condemn and go to the help of the victim to protect them. They should not be silent spectators. They should call the police. Every man should take a wow that he will not get attracted to any woman and he will consider them as his mother and sister.

The women should have more powers for self-defense. Special courts can be formed to deal with the cases. The punishment for rape and molestation should be very severe. The courts should decide the cases within a short period. In our country, sex is considered holy and sacred.

The women should also understand. There is chaos, greed, poverty, anarchy, lawlessness, violence, hatred, perversion, communal intolerance, corruption, religious fanaticism, unemployment, lack of education, instigation by cinema, etc. The damage once done cannot be retrieved.

The women are physically weak. They are the ultimate sufferers physically, mentally and psychologically. They should protect themselves. They can get combative training. They can carry chilly or pepper powder to spray on the face. They can take a penknife or toy pistol to threaten the culprit.

They should not go out alone. During the night, they should take a male escort.  They can desist from developing friendship or acquaintance with unknown people. They can inform their parents/elder brother/husband of any untoward incident. Freedom brings only misery.

They can wear a modern protective dress like jeans etc. Women should not wear exhibiting or enticing or inviting dresses. They can go for safe and honorable jobs like teaching, or 9 to 5 daytime work, etc. If a Saree falls on a bush of thorn, it is the Saree that gets damaged and not the thorn.

According to Wikipedia, "there is a misconception that it happens only among the "illiterate and poor" which is not true. It occurs among the "educated and rich", including those who have been abroad for higher education or have significant exposure to other countries.